Slow Down The Sun
by Curious Girl
Summary: The sun rises after another horrible night. A night I dreamt of him. He broke me into a thousand little pieces. Pieces which no one is able to glue back together again. That's why I moved to London. Where I may find someone to glue the pieces back together again. Someone to distract my heart from it's damage. Someone like Lucas. Someone to slow down the sun. Sequel to Torn Apart!
1. Chapter 1

It's been four weeks since I moved to London. A city which is rarely asleep. A city which offers a variety of ways to distract myself at night... Ways which I need to distract myself from him.

Troy haunts me in my sleep. Ever since I left him, he didn't leave me. I dream of him. Every night. I dream of our past. Of his smile, his eyes, his wide shoulders, his toned arms... his whole body.

This night, I dreamt of his laugh. His incredible laugh which makes my broken heart sing in my sleep. But that's what I am. Heartbroken.

I lie awake in my bed, watching the sun rising. If only the sun rose faster, maybe my dreams wouldn't be so painfull then.

I sigh as I stare at the sun, unable to stop my mind from wandering back to him. Us. Like it always does when I don't distract myself with work.

_Flashback_

Rays of light fill the bedroom. The french windows are torn open, letting the window into the room, making the sheer white drapes flow along.

My eyes flutter open slowly, needing to get used to the bright sun. Seconds later a shadow appears above me and I open my eyes completely to find out what causes the shadow.

"Good morning..." he whispers to me before his lips crash softly against mine.

I let myself get lost in his kiss, burrying my hands in his hair. God, how much I love these mornings... Mornings in which we don't have to stress to go to work. Mornings in which we are like regular couple. Mornings which are too rare.

"It really is a good morning." I say, letting go of his lips.

He smiles at me as I brush through his sandy brown hair. His bright blue eyes are sparkling. And I am the reason for his sparkle.

It feels my heart with so much love. _He_ fills my heart with so much love. More love than it is able to contain.

I return his smile. I never want this moment to end.

_End of Flashback_

I frown at my reflection. My eyes are red and swollen. I must've cried in my sleep again.

I thought the tears have stopped from rolling down my cheeks weeks ago. Seems like they only stopped until now. I cry in my sleep. I've never cried in my sleep before. But now I do.

Because of him.

I walk down the black-wooden stairs of the townhouse in Covent Garden, yawning all the way. I did my best to cover my undereye circles with make up. I think I did just well. After all, I have a couple of meetings with potential investors today. Investors I need if I want Unfaithful records to become a permanent thing.

I hear the television getting switched off just a second before I enter the kitchen.

"Ryan, you didn't have to turn off the television." I say to my blonde step-brother who is drinking coffee and eating an omlete at the kitchen island.

"Morning." he says, smiling, trying to hide the newspaper from me.

"Switch on the television and hand me the newspaper, Ryan." I say to him.

He sighs before he hands me the newspaper. I gasps as I see the headline.

**Manhattan record's boss Tanner under arrest! Did they really launder money? Answer on page six!**

"I thought they would stop by now." I say, my eyes still focused on the newspaper. The picture of Tanner in handcuffs is a pretty nice picture though.

"Your lawsuit has been in the press for the last four weeks. And now, that you did not win... guess the state wants to have it's own proof."

"I'm just thankfull I got there out before I'd be the one walking with handcuffs through New York." I say, filling a cup with coffee. "The television, Ryan." I remind him.

He sighs, "You really want to see that?"

"Ry, I love you for your protective instict but... I am fine. I can handle it."

"I hear you crying in your sleep, Gabs."

I frown. "I can't control my body when I sleep. But I can controll my feelings now."

He bites on his lips before he switchs on the television.

An image appears which I haven't seen for four weeks. Well, I did see it... in my dreams.

_"Bolton leaves Tanner's & Bolton's enterprises! A publicist told BBC exclusive that Troy Bolton is planning to leave his partner, Stephanie Tanner. According to the publicist, this decision has been made before the scandal around Manhattan Record's and it's former owner, Gabriella Montez. Word has it, that Montez and Bolton have been in a relationship, which ended two months ago. Could she be the reason for his actions? Stay tuned!"_

I frown at the television, "So Franklin warned his son after all."

Ryan looks at me, "Are you okay?"

"I'm good. I'm glad he's got out there without rarely any damages." I say and take a sip of my coffee, "Anyways, I have to go now."

He nodds, "Gabs, if you need me I'm here for you."

I smile at him, trying to hide the tears in my eyes, "I know... I just wish it would be him instead of you, you know?"

He pulls me in a hugg, "I know... I know."

* * *

"And why exactly should I invest into Unfaithful records?" he asks me, his poker face not revealing a single emotion he is feeling.

I lean forward on my ellbows, closing the distance between us a little more. Still, sitting at the other side of the mahogany table which is _so huge_, my movement doesn't seem to have the effect I wanted it to be. This is my last chance. My last option. The last investor.

He doesn't react to my move and continues speaking although he sees my mouth opening up because I'd like to response. "Miss Montez, of course I have heard of your reputation in New York City, but this is London. It's a whole new game with fresh cards. Your reputation means nothing. You begin at zero and not at one hundret, you need to understand it. Building a new reputation is a must..." the black Armani tuxedo he is wearing fits his muscular body perfectly. It's probably tailored.

I open my mouth to response once more, but he shuts me off without me even starting again.

"I know that you are a star in New York and your work is very... impressive, I must say."

"But?" I raise an eyebrow at him. Without an investor, I am done. All the others didn't want to work with Unfaithful records. He is my last chance.

He rubs his chin a little, as if he is thinking about his options. Then he shakes his head slowly.

Is that a no?

"I don't think we should cooperate. Sadly, Field's Ventures is not interested in an cooperation, Miss Montez."

I frown at him. He wants to play dirty? Alright, I can play dirty... I can play even dirtier.

His eyes follow me as I rise from the chair and walk around the table until I reach him. From such a close distance, his body is even more present. I let my eyes dance up and down his body, fully aware that he is doing the same although he's still wearing his poker face.

For minutes, neither of us says anything. I let the atmosphere load up slowly. Aware that this sexual desire is dancing inside of _me_ _and him_.

"Miss Montez, I think you should leave. I have an appointment very shortly." he says to me, his dark brown eyes rested on the door behind me.

I turn my head around and look at the massiv glass door, which is not transparent right now. "Oh I will... I will." I ensure him, moving my head to him again. "I will leave once I got what I wanted." I say into his eyes, seeing a sparkle inside of them.

"I'm sorry, but Field's Ventures is not able to give you what you want." he says in a cool voice to me.

I smirk at him before I lean forward. His breath sharpens immediately, "I believe Field's Ventures will give me what I want in the end anyways, Mr. Fields." I whisper into his eyes.

"Miss Montez, I-" he voice shuts off as soon as I hear the door getting torn open behind me.

I sigh. Damn it, I was this close!

"Derek, what about-" the very deep male voice shuts off as his eyes see me leaning against the table. "I wasn't aware that you still have company. I'm sorry for the interuption."

"No, we're done." the man in the tuxedo says to me. "I'm sorry, but Field's Ventures is unable to help you, Miss Montez."

I nodd, giving in. I've lost this war. Damn it! Why the hell does this man have to appear right now?! Couldn't he wait another minute?! "Of course. Thanks for your time, Mr. Fields." I say, lifting myself from the table and turning around. My breath gets stuck as my eyes recognize the second male figure in the room. I would never be able to forget him. Ever.

My eyes stare shocked at him. They eyeball him as I'm reminding myself to breath. That body...

_Those eyes_.

The man clears his throat, still wearing his pokerface. He has amazing cheekbones... everything about him is amazing. I'm not sure if he recognizes me. Well, actually I'm pretty sure that he has forgotten me by now... I mean, it's been months since we last each other... Yet it feels like it was yesterday I kissed him. Felt him...

And I was sure we would never see each other again.

"Derek, go to the meeting. I have something to discuss with Miss Montez here." The man says in a neutral voice. Those soft lips...

Mr. Fields gets up and nodds, "Okay... It was nice meeting you." he says, offering me his hand.

I shake it and fake a smile. "Likewise."

My eyes watch Mr. Fields leaving the room with long, fast steps. But I am only watching Fields leaving in the cornor of my eyes. My main focus is standing across me. And he is taking my breath away.

His black tuxedo fits his body perfectly. As he turns around and walks after Fields, I can see his back. His wide muscular shoulders which are hidden behind the black tuxedo.

Fields talks to him for a quick minute, mumbles something I don't understand. Both men nodd before the doors gets closed by him. Then he turns around and I get to stare into his emerald colored orbs again.

His eyes rest on mine before they dance down my body. Does he recognize me?

The blood freezes as my eyes watch him moving, walking over to me in fast steps. He doesn't recognize me, does he? What is he going to do? My brain doesn't function right. Never would I have thought that he would be here. Work here. Be in London. Be him.

He doesn't give my brain any more time to think. His lips crash against mine. It's an intensive, longing kiss. A kiss I return without me really wanting it. God, he is such a good kisser. Such an amazing man... Such a dominant man.

"What are you doing here?" I ask him breathlessly after I pulled away.

"Shh..." he says grinning, before he kisses me again. Within seconds I feel my desire building for him. A desire I have felt before. I have allayed before. For one night.

I let go again, "Why didn't you tell me your name? Who you are?"

He brushs through my dark brown locks, "Would it have changed anything?"

I frown. Would it?

He doesn't give me time to response. He kisses my neck, creating a fire inside of me, "Oh God..." I whisper aroused already before I feel his hands around my hips, lifting me up and placing me on the table again.

Maybe I would have chosen Lucas over Troy then.

_Troy... _My heart is about to clench, but his kiss stops it. He doesn't give me time to think about anything else. Anything else but him.

He posses me. Just like he did before.

He lets got of my lips and stares intensivly long into my eyes. My lips are dry. My breath gets stuck. It feels like he is staring right into my soul. Into my broken soul. Into the soul that his bro- his lips crash against mine.

I think, he doesn't believe it either. He doesn't believe what is happening is _really_ happening right now. It feels surreal.

He lets go again, giving me time to catch my breath. I can't help but reflect the smile which starts to form on his lips.

"Do you know how much I've longed for you since that event three months ago? Do you know how much I wanted you to come to the other parties? How I went there to especially search for you and leave with empty hands?" he asks, giving me no time to response, "If only I knew who you were... I wouldn't have let you go." he whispers into my ear, making me lose my breath.

I am unable to process this information correctly. I am too aroused to think about anything but him and his body... and what he could do with me.

"He has hurt you, hasn't he? That's the reason why you're here..." he says into my eyes. His eyes are filled with anger. Anger mixed with jealously... Anger, jealously and a big amount of protective instinct.

I shake my head, "No talking." I say before I kiss him softly, "Instead fuck me."

His eyes change, while his lips form a dirty grin. Has he missed me saying this? Missed that dirty language coming out of my mouth?

Did I miss him?

* * *

**First chapter! Ahhhh, I'm so excited! I hope you like it.**

**Please review!**

**Xoxo Nic**


	2. Chapter 2

I feel him pulling out of me as my sweaty body rests against the french window, which offers a beautifull view of London - at night.

My breath is just as irregular as his, as we both just reached a whole new form of a climax. Having London underneath me and his hand arm around my hip while the other held my hands above my head was like... falling without ever touching the hard ground called reality. The rush of adrenaline running through my veins while the orgasm was building deep inside of me was... Beyond amazing.

His laugh rips me out of my thoughts. I turn my head around and watch him closing the belt of his black trousers. His bare upper body is nearly as amazing as his lower body.

"What?" I ask him, a little confused about his reaction. Did I do something wrong?

He shakes his head, as if he has read my mind correctly, "Just one simple meeting with you and I forget everything else around me. Including very important clients." He says frowning as he takes a look at his iPhone. His emerald colored orbs are still shining. It's sparkle is breathtaking.

I grin, yeah I forgot everything around me for the rest of the day as well. Including him. "Is Unfaithful Records a client of your's now as well?"

"You slept with the owner because you want me to invest into your record label?" he asks me shocked with a smirk on his lips.

My chin falls down. _He_ is the owner?! "I thought Fields is the owner..."

Lucas shakes his head, his dirty blonde hair hasn't lost any of it's form. I wonder if my hair still looks fine... Probably not. "Fields is my partner. Unlike my brother, I don't want to give my name away just like that. We all saw how well that worked out."

_Troy..._ I feel my heart clenching. Aching for him. It's an unbearable pain. A pain, I was able to surpress. To ignore... I look down and start collecting my clothes piece by piece.

He watches me getting into my underwear, "Did I do something wrong?" he asks me, his Australian accent suddenly hearable again.

I shake my head. What I am doing is wrong. What I _did_ was wrong... This is wrong.

He picks up my blouse as I get into my skirt again, before he hands it to me. "Was it because I mentioned Troy?"

My eyes look into his as I stop buttoning up my blouse. "No." I lie into his eyes.

"You're a bad liar. Troy's right."

I frown. They talked about me? "You guys talk about me?"

Lucas starts buttoning up the blouse for me, "Not a lot... but yeah. We used to. I mean, you guys were in the spotlight from the beginning of your relationship anyways..."

"Did you recognize me? From pictures with Troy, I mean." I say, almost whisper to him. Saying his name hurts me too much.

He smiles at me before he closes the last button, "Of course I did... I mean, we did wear masks at the party but... Somehow I knew it was you. From the beginning."

And?

"I was surprised." he answers my thought casual. "Surprised that I was so stupid to just let you go... I should've given you-"

I shake my head, "It was a sexparty, Lucas. We weren't suppose to feel that attracted to each other... We were suppose to have fun."

"And we didn't lose any of it's fun just now." he smirks at me.

His smirk reminds me of his twinbrother... Of him.

"I think we should get something to eat." Lucas suggests. "After all, you must be hungry after what we just did..."

Indeed I feel my stomach responsing to him. I nodd, "Food sounds nice."

He offers me his hand and I take it. Unlike with Troy, I feel nothing when he leads me out of his office. Unlike with Troy, I don't have butterflies or whatsoever going wild in my stomach. I feel nothing.

We walk pass the desk of the secretary and I notice that it is empty. "What time is it anyway?" I ask as we wait for the elevator to arrive.

Lucas takes a look at his ROLEX, "Eight p.m..." We spend the whole day in his office. Doing nothing but having sex. Breathtaking sex. In every thinkable position.

I nodd as we walk into the elevator, "When was the last time you talked to your brother?"

"Our Mom's birthday."

The day he told me he loved me. The day he gave me the offer. And the attachment. The day which changed my life forever. I shiver.

"You okay?"

I nodd, "Of course..." I say before we step out of the elevator. "What we did was wrong, you know." I whisper. Almost to myself.

"It wasn't wrong." he says casual as we walk through the foyer.

"You are Troy's brother."

He frowns, knowing what I mean. "Don't deny the sexual desire you felt."

"I felt it. Of course I felt it. The sex was amazing... But it was just sex." I say as we stop in front of a black Porsche Cayenne.

He nodds, "You love him, don't you?"

I brush through my dark brown locks and look into his green eyes. They don't sparkle due to lust... they shine because of honesty.

"I do... I still do." I say the last part to myself and frown. I love him and he hurt me. I love him because he hurt me. I love him because he is able to hurt me. Damn it, I still love him although he fucked everything up!

He pulls me in a hugg. It's the first time I hugged him actually. He seems... like a friend. Is it possible to see the man you just had sex with as a normal friend?

"He loves you as well." he whispers into my ear.

I shake my head, "No he doesn't." I say back and wipe away the tears which have formed in my eyes.

Lucas sighs, before he brushs through my dark brown locks. "I wish it'd be me who you love, but I know that it is him. It will always be him."

"Are you jealous?"

He shakes his head, "To be feeling jealously, I should have had you... but I didn't. I never did. Not even up there." he says, nodding towards the glass building.

It's true. He did possess me... but I was not his. I don't belong to him. I belong to his brother. A brother who tore me apart. "Listen, how about we go to my place and have a cup of tea?"

I raise an eyebrow at him.

He chuckles, "Just tea. The Britains are a big believer in tea and it's healing power... maybe it will help you over your heartbreak as well."

"Okay... Tea sounds like a good idea."

"And something to eat." he adds before he opens the door of the Porsche for me.

I chuckle, "That, too."

* * *

I hear the notification from the electric kettle somewhere far, far behind in my head. The blood is still rushing through my veins. The sweat is still dropping down my breasts. My lungs are still fighting for air. My legs are still shaky, not able to stand solid on the ground yet. Thank God, I am sitting on the mamor kitchen island, which has heated up really quickly. The coldness which I felt minutes ago has disappeared.

I grin against his lips, my fingers fondling his biceps. "Just tea doesn't really work for us."

He returns my grin, "Can you blame us?"

I frown. I thought that the sex in his office was a one time thing, but now... Now I am not so sure anymore. Being with him makes me forget about Troy. Lucas is the perfect distraction. The perfect man who can... "I am not looking for a relationship, Luc."

"Neither am I."

"Then it is going to be just sex. No feelings. No feelings at all."

He nodds in agreement. "Does it make you feel guilty?" He asks me slowly.

I shake my head, "It makes me forget. It makes me feel." Everything but devastation.

Lucas smiles at me, "Good. That's how it should feel."

I frown at him.

He lifts my body up and places it on it's steady feet. "He completely wracked you. He left me your pieces. He left me the work to glue the pieces, he shattered you into, together. I'll help you getting over him. Like I always do. I am the rebound... This time I am not glad that he has broken things off again. You guys were-"

"Don't." I beg him, feeling the tears building in my eyes. "Let's not talk about him. I... I mean, I..."

"Okay." He says nodding. "How about tea now?"

I smile a little at him, "Tea sounds good."

He turns around and gets out two cups. It gives me a moment to look around. His kitchen has a ridiculous size. It is way too big for one single person. The white cupboards have black mamor working plates, this way it looks modern but classic at the same time. It reminds me of Troy's kitchen in New York... _Troy._

"How do you like London so far?" He asks me, filling the cups with English Breakfast Tea.

"I haven't been able to see much of it yet... I was busy with the record label." I say and shrugg, "My friends say that it isn't anything like New York, but it has it's charme after all... You know, the clubs should be okay..." I say as I start collecting my clothes, getting into them one piece after another.

"How long have you been living in London?"

"A month." I answer briefly, taking a sip of the hot tea.

"And you haven't been going clubbing?"

I shrugg, "I didn't even had the chance to go shopping, yet. I was busy. Really busy."

"I'll give you a tour of London. With your friends."

I frown. That would go beyond just sex.

"As a friend. We don't have to tell anyone what we do behind closed doors. That is our business, not their's."

I nodd, "Okay."

He smiles at me. A soft smile. A smile of a friend... Not a lover.

"Lucas, why are you doing this? Why are you so nice to me?" I ask him, brushing through my locks. It doesn't make sense to me. Nothing makes sense to me anymore.

Because I am here. Without him.

He sighs, "Because you don't deserve to be walking around like this."

"Like what?"

He shruggs, "Wracked... Fucked up."

"But he is your brother. Shouldn't you be on his side?"

"I am. That is why I am doing this."

I have no idea what he means by that. Maybe the Bolton brothers are both a mystery to me.

He smiles at me, "Troy loves you. He said that to me. You are the love of his life. Just because he is not with you right now, doesn't mean that his love for you has vanished."

"If he loved me, he would have never done what he did to me." And he would have never let me go.

"He warned you. Didn't he? That is not his usual behaviour, Gabriella."

"He didn't tell me to not go when I told him I'd move to London. Besides, I don't think he would be pleased to hear that we are having sex."

Lucas chuckles, "He would beat my ass if he knew that."

I frown and let my mind wander to a classic boxing fight. I don't know who of the Bolton brothers would win. Both are fairly fit. In my mind, it is Troy though. Not because he is fitter... But because he owns my heart.

"You could choose to stay away from me." I answer back. His behaviour is still unreasonable for me.

"I could. But that would make things harder when you guys are back together again."

For a moment I wish we'd still be a couple. But we're not. And somehow I can't imagine myself with him again. Not after what he did. Not just the action hurt me... The reason hurt me even more. I shake my head, "We won't get back together. Our story has ended."

He smiles softly at me, "Your story deserves a Happyend. Not this."

"How come you lived in Australia and Troy in the states?"

He frowns at me for a second. Perhaps he doesn't understand the sudden change of topics. But I can not talk about him anymore. It hurts too much.

"After graduation Troy chose to go to Columbia. I wanted to go as far away as possible. I chose Australia over Africa because of the beautiful beaches."

"Did you live at the beach?"

He nodds, "I didn't have much of it though. I worked 24/7 as soon as I decided to build my own company."

"Why did you chose Fields as a partner?"

"We met at College in Sydney... We got along pretty well, he is not just my partner. We're friends as well above anything else. Best friends even, I guess."

I nodd, it's nice to know that he seemed to be just fine in Australia. "Did you miss the states?"

He shakes his head, "I didn't miss the states. But I did miss my family. Or what is left of it anyways..."

"Did you visit the states often?"

"As often as possible. But it wasn't enough."

"Did you miss your brother a lot?"

He nodds and is silent. He must have missed him more than just a lot.

"Why did you chose London instead of the states now?"

His answer is a smirk. "You'll see..."

I frown. Do I want to know? I choose not to ask. Too much information could hurt you more than you know...

"How is it going with the record label?"

"We're trying to build it... I mean, I knew that it weren't going to be easy... But then again, I didn't think it'd be that tough." And cost so much fucking money.

He nodds, "How long do you want Fields Ventures to invest?"

"About 16 months, not longer. I'd say we make a contract for a year first..."

"My secretary will send you the documents tomorrow noon."

"Why won't you bring them to me? I have doors which can be locked as well." I say and smirk. God, when was the last time I was able to flirt? It seems like eternity... Yet, I feel not guilty. No, I feel no guilt at all... it shouldn't be like that. But I know, that it's only possible because I've burried my feelings for him. Deep, deep underneath the earth, my broken heart is laying. Alone. Waiting for him to come and digg it out.

"I would love to, but I can't. I have meetings the whole morning and then I need to hop into the plane to fly over to Paris."

"When will you be back?"

He shruggs, "Depends. A maximum of a week."

I nodd, "Why didn't you talk to me this morning?"

"I was suppose to be in Italy this morning. The deal was made a little faster than expected, that's why I stormed into Field's office. I didn't expect you there flirting with my partner."

I roll my eyes, "I was not flirting... Just trying to get what I want."

"And you got it. Happy?"

I smile innocently at him, "Very, Mr. Bolton... Very."

* * *

**A new chapter! What do you think of Lucas and Gabriella? **

**Please review.**

**Xoxo Nic**


	3. Chapter 3

**"Tonight, we're going to a party." I hear Lucas saying to me on the other line.**

We've been hanging out for the past three weeks. With barely any sex, actually. Somehow we're more like friends than just friends with benefits. Speaking of friends, I think he has an eye on Miley. Ever since those two met a couple of weeks ago, they've been both way too... not themselves. It's nice to see him that way... About to fall in love.

"Party? Which party?" I ask him surprised as I watch the houses moving through the window of the black cab.

"Unfaithful records needs to step it up. This party will get you a couple more artists... a couple more investors... a little more publicity." he says and I can imagine him smirking.

I nodd, "Sounds good. Any dress code?"

"Black tie."

I nodd, so it's formal. Which means floor-length dresses. "You want me to bring Miley along?" I ask him, smirking this time.

"No." he says in an icy cold voice.

I frown, "What is wrong?"

"Nothing."

"You're lieing. Come on, spill it out! I can see how much you like her!" I say to him.

"I don't."

"You do, don't deny it. Don't even try to, Luc. She likes you as well."

He sighs.

"Lucas..."

"Look, Miley's a nice woman, but..." he remains silent.

"But what? I don't see the problem. You like her. She likes you. Ask her on a date. She'll say yes." I say as the car stops in front of my home.

"She's not the problem..." he trails off.

I pay the driver and climb out of the car, "Where's the problem then, huh?" Really, why does it always have to be so hard with love, huh?! "It's just a date, Lucas. You're not asking her to marry you!" Seriously, playing armor is so much harder than I thought!

"Gabi, we both know that I am not made for a relationship." he starts explaining, "I'd be cheating on her."

"So, you decide to ignore your feelings for her? That's crazy." I say as I unlock the door of the empty townhouse. Ryan is away once more. A shooting in Italy. Somehow, his modeling career is even more successfull than in New York. I'm happy for him.

"Not everyone is as addicted to sex as we are."

"We're not _that_ addicted to sex, Luc... I mean, we barely had sex in the last couple of weeks..." I frown. Yeah, we are really becoming more friends than friends with benefits.

"I know. And that's good. It means you no longer have to compensate your feelings with sex. It means-"

"I know." I whisper. It means I am getting over him. Somehow...

Somehow, Lucas has helped me digging a whole to burry my heart. And right now we're throwing soil on it... "But that doesn't mean you have to-"

"We'll see." he says to me as I get out of my shoes. "I'll pick you up in an hour."

"I'll be ready." I say, already walking into my room. We both hang up with no more word and I quickly choose a floor length dress, fresh underwear and shoes before I jump under the shower.

* * *

The black limo is already waiting for me as I walk out of the house. I get into the limo and sit next to Lucas, who's typing something into his cell.

"Texting with Miley?" I ask him smirking.

"What?" he asks me, sounding as if I've ripped him out of his thoughts.

I roll my eyes, "Was it Miley?"

"You really won't drop that subject, will you, stubborn woman?!" he hisses at me.

"Problems at work?" I ask him slowly after a few minutes of driving in silence.

"No." he says sighing as his phone vibrates again. "Other problems."

I frown, "What kind of problems?"

He shakes his head, "Nothing... It's nothing."

"Okay... Talk to me whenever you want to, alright?" I say and smile softly at him.

He nodds before his eyes focus on the phone again.

"You should talk to Miley, though..." I say grinning.

"Drop the subject, Gabriella."

"I'll drop it when you asked her out."

He sighs, "Fine. I'll ask her."

"Good."

"Good." he says back, his eyes glistering in black. _Another thing he has incommon with his brother._

"How was your day?" he asks me slowly, eyeballing my body, "You look good... The men will throw themselves at you."

"Appearantly it was better than your's." I say back to him. The black tuxedo fits his body perfectly... yet he is not the best looking man in the world. He would be if I didn't knew his brother.

He sighs, "Mine was a little stressfull..."

"Why's that?"

"Fields wanted to fly to France today, but he couldn't... or at least until a couple of hours he couldn't. His plane leaves now and he is nowhere to be found."

"Are you worried?"

He shakes his head, "I know where he hides if he doesn't want to be found."

"And where is that?"

Lucas smirks at me.

"Oh." I say, now getting the message. "So Fields goes there as well?"

Lucas nodds, "He showed me the club."

_Flashback_

"Where are we going?" I ask him as we're sitting in the black limo. I am wearing a short dress with lace underwear - just like he said.

"I just thought I'll show you a place to run to whenever you need a little distraction..."

"A distraction?"

"The kind of distraction we've been doing ever since we saw each other again. To get you over Troy..."

"Sex. You're going to a sexparty with me?"

He shakes his head, "It's nothing like New York... it's more classically... It's a club. For members only."

"You are a member?"

He nodds, "And you're my guest."

I frown. Do I want to go to another sexparty? "Why didn't you ask me?"

"Don't you want to go?"

I shrugg, "I don't know... I mean... I don't know." I say, wondering if I could do that another time. Lose myself like this. I shake my head, "No. I don't want to."

Lucas nodds before he pushs a button, which lets down the milky glass which separates us from the driver. "We're changing our destination. We want to go home."

"I'm sorry."

He shakes his head, "Don't be sorry. I just didn't think you..." he doesn't finish his sentence.

I frown at his as I understand what he was trying to say, "You didn't think I'd be getting over him so soon. So fast..."

_End of Flashback_

"Aren't you trying to get him out of there?" I ask him slowly.

Lucas shakes his head, "No... He has his reasons. This club is our sanctuary. It's our place to run to."

I nodd, "So, why aren't you flying to France then?"

"I will. After this event, I'll jump into the plane."

"You're doing this for me." I breath out.

He shruggs, "You need a little help to get back into the business. Events like this one will be a huge help. I know a couple of the guests... They all work in the industry. They will be interested as soon as they see you-"

"You mean as soon as they see us. They will make a romantic connection."

He shakes his head, "They won't. We're professionals. They know that I'm investing into your company. They'll get curious..."

"I don't know, Luc..." I say and sigh, "Kelsi is doing all the publicity... I'm working in the background. That's what I've learned from my relationship with Troy. Working in the background, in the dark, is better than in the public eye... I'm not a public person."

"If you want your label to have the status which you had with Manhattan's records you will _have to_ go public. One way or another. It's your label. Not Kelsi's. Your reputation. Not her's."

I nodd, "You're right."

* * *

"Give me a call in the next week." the blue eyed man says, handing me his business card. "We'll talk about it a little more in private then." he says smiling.

I return his smile before I take another sip of my water. "I will, Mr. Clark..."

"Hey," I hear Lucas voice behind me, "How is it going?"

"Mr. Bolton, how nice to finally meet you." the man says in an American accent, "Sebastian Clark, Belford industries." he says, offering his hand.

Lucas shakes is, being all the business man again. "Nice to meet you, Mr. Clark. Do you mind if I borrow Miss Montez from you for a little while?"

Sebastian shakes his head, smiling, "Not at all. Miss Montez and I have a date next week. But save me a dance, will you?"

I giggle at the fourty five year old man, "Of course, Mr. Clark..." I say before Lucas drags me away from him. "You didn't have to save me, Lucas."

"Who said anything that I wanted to save you?" he asks me grinning, "I was bored myself."

I roll my eyes, "I saw you flirting with women the whole evening. You weren't bored."

He sighs, "Fine, I was not bored. But I wanted to talk to you. How is the evening going for you?"

"It's going well.. Really well, actually. This," I say holding up Clark's business card, "is the seventh card which I got tonight. Everyone wants to talk to me about my record label. Everyone seems to be interested in investing... It's amazing." I say smiling. "Thanks for dragging me here."

He nodds, "I knew it would pay off."

"Speaking of paying off, so you weren't interested in those women?"

"Well, I-"

"Ha! I knew it! You like Miley, don't you?" I ask him.

He sighs, "Yes."

"Ask her out."

"Fine."

"Good." I say and hugg him, "You know, I didn't think I'd feel so good so soon... But somehow being with you helps me... a lot."

He smiles at me, "I know... And you help me as well."

I frown, "How?"

He shruggs, "You know, you're helping me building a life beside my work. Beside my company."

"Beside the club you mean." I add.

He nodds. "I'll try it with Miley. If you talk to that man over there." he says pointing at a man who is surrounded with a lot of women and men. He's talking to all of them, making them laugh.

"Who is he?" I ask him.

"He's an agent. He has lots of singers under contract. Most of them are German, since he is German as well... Some of them are French and the best are from Sweden."

I raise an eyebrow at him, "You think he'll let his clients sign a contract at my record label?"

Lucas nodds, "If you do well enough in the next couple of minutes, you'll be in a plane to Germany in the next few days. Once you're in the plane, you know that he will give you at least three clients. Clients which you will be able to choose, if you play your cards well, Gabi."

"He is the key to success in Europe."

"He is the key indeed." he says nodding.

"So I'll get a ticket to Germany and you'll ask Miley out. Deal?"

"Deal." he says shaking my hand.

* * *

**New chapter!**

**Please review.**

**Xoxo Nic**

**P.S.: My exams start in a few weeks which means I'm not going to post a new chapter any time soon. Most probably. We'll see. My inspiration is best when I'm feeling stressed. Does that make sense? Lol, probably not! :P**


	4. Chapter 4

**Two weeks later:**

The living room is filled with laughter as I unlock the front door.

"Anyone home?" I ask into the hallway, pulling the suitcase in behind me.

"How was Germany?" my blonde best friends asks, walking over to me before she pulls me into a long hugg, "I missed you a lot, Gabs."

"I missed you as well, Mils. Is anyone else here?"

She shakes her head, "Ryan is in Ireland and Kelsi is still at work."

I nodd, "Are you watching a good movie?"

Miley nodds, her bright blue eyes are sparkling.

I know that sparkle. A kind of sparkle you only have when you're falling in love. A sparkle I had once as well... But now it's gone. Forever. "Who's the lucky guy?"

She shruggs, smiling.

"Anyone I know?"

She nodds slowly, her eyes are sparkling.

I frown, who do I know... "It's Lucas." I say in one breath.

"He asked me out the day before yesterday. A date. A real date, Gabs. I haven't been on those for _ages_. I mean, do you know how hard it is to actually date when you're getting followed by paparazzi all the way?" she asks me, but doesn't give me time to answer, "While you were in Germany, looking for artists, we guys went out with Lucas. He showed us some really cool places in London... Restaurants, pubs, bars, clubs... all that kind of stuff. He's such a great guy! I mean, that man is working 24/7 and is still making time for us to show us London! How awesome is that?"

I smile at her, "He's awesome, I know."

"But I mean... Doesn't he remind you of Troy? Like all the time? I mean, I know that they don't look alike, but... with the character and stuff, I mean."

I shrugg, "They don't have a lot incommon. The same name and the same smile, but other than that... No, they're pretty different."

"How?" she asks me, sitting down on the barstool in the kitchen.

I sigh, "Lucas is open-hearted... and Troy is anything but open-hearted. Troy is mysterious and fucking closed up. He's hard to handle, because you never know what you're going to get. But then again he... He has this look. A look which makes my blood freeze and my heart sing." I say and shrugg, trying to prevent the tears from forming in my eyes. "Troy has a _huge heart_, once you've torn down the walls... Lucas is just different. I can't explain it. Things with Lucas are easy. Things with Troy are tough." I say and brush through my hair.

"I'm sorry for bringing up the subject."

I shake my head, "I'm fine... Lucas has been a great help..."

"He helped you getting over Troy." she says, smiling softly at me.

I nodd, "I don't know how... But he has that healing power. He makes me forget Troy. He makes me feel happiness. I love him for that. But I have no... I love him as a friend." I say to Miley, who nodds.

"Yeah, I might feel something more than just a friendship..."

I grin. So he sticks to his words. "So, how was your date with him?"

A grin forms on her lips, "Amazing. Breathtaking. Just... wow."

I smile at her, "The Bolton brother's really know how to pull of a date, don't they?"

She nodds.

"What did you guys do?"

"It was a classical first date with a dinner... But the restaurant was amazing! We had dinner on rooftop with a view over whole London! It was _amazing_."

I let water into the electric kettle to make us both tea. "Do you think-"

"Absolutely." she says nodding, "It was... God, I really like that man. _Really like him_." she says grinning, "I felt sparkles whenever we touched. It's been ages since I felt anywhere near that sparkle!"

Yeah, it's been ages for me as well. Well, not ages but nearly two months. "And he gives you this sparkle." The other Bolton has been giving me sparkles as well... It feels like in another life.

"We're having our second date tomorrow." she says as I fill up the cups with hot tea. "So, how was Germany?"

"Germany was a success. A _huge_ success, actually."

"How many singers did you get?"

"I got four German singers. One of them wants to sing in English. The rest in German. And then he gave me four Swedish singers."

"Wow... I mean, that sounds really amazing."

"It is. We'll start working with them in the next week." I say, taking a sip of my tea.

"That means even more work for you." Miley says, sounding a little sad.

"It also means a lot fun." I correct her.

"And what it means all above that, no trip to Cabo for you in a month."

I frown at her, "Did you guys already book the tickets?"

She nodds, "We booked one ticket for you as well, but..."

"I'll come. I promise you." I say and hugg her, "No work can keep me away from you and your birthday in Cabo... I mean, it's our tradition anyways." I say smiling. "Speaking of your birthday, will Lucas come as well?"

Miley shruggs, "I'm keeping my options open. I mean, I _really_ like him, but who knows where we will be in one month..."

"Hopefully in a solid relationship."

She nodds, "That would be my wish as well."

I sigh, "Look, Lucas may be a little... you know, kind of hard to get at times, but he is just... he likes you as well. He said that to me."

Miley grins, "He did?"

I nodd, "He just... He usually isn't the relationship kind of guy, Mils. He doesn't do relationships. He does friendships and sex. But not together. And if you want to top it with love then..." I shrugg, "You know."

"But he's not a runner."

"True. He doesn't run. He fights. Something I admire him for." Something I wish Troy would have done. But he didn't... And life goes on. Somehow. "What I'm trying to say is that, he can be complicated, but don't give up on him, alright?"

She nodds, "Won't give up on that Bolton... Although-"

"The other Bolton gave up on me." I finish her sentence.

"Does it still hurt?"

I shake my head, "I burried all the heartache, all the frustration and love together with Lucas far far away. I am not over Troy. Perhaps I'll never be. But I am ready to move on with my life. I'm ready."

"Isn't it ironic that his brother has helped you getting over him?"

I shrugg, "Perhaps fucked up relationships can only be overcome with the help of the fucked up brother."

"He is not fucked up."

"Oh, you have no idea what you're getting yourself into, Mils. He's wonderfull, but as everyone of us, he has dark sides as well..."

She nodds, "I know... I'm ready to see those dark sides. Because he's worth it."

Yeah, I thought Troy was worth it as well... until I got taught otherwise.

* * *

**A short but new chapter!**

**I hope you guys enjoyed reading it. Please review!**

**Xoxo Nic **


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5:**

_Breathe me in, breathe me out  
The music's got me going  
Breathe me in, breathe me out  
No stop until the morning  
Breathe me in, breathe me out  
You know I'm ready for it  
For it, for it  
Yeah  
Breathe me in, breathe me out  
The music's got me going  
Breathe me in, breathe me out  
No stop until the morning  
Breathe me in, breathe me out  
You know I'm ready for it  
For it, for it  
Yeah_

I just wanna feel your body right next to mine  
All night long  
Baby, slow down the song  
And when it's coming closer to the end hit rewind  
All night long  
Baby, slow down the song

"That's a wrap everyone!" I say into the studio mic, grinning. "Thanks Selena, you can come back now and listen to it."

We all clap as Selena Gomez walks over to us, she is, just like we are, grinning. It's been stressfull weeks, but we got there in the end. The new album is finished. Finally.

"Let me hear it!" the brunette singer says to me, grinning.

I push the play button and let her listen to the raw material. "We still need to add some beats and stuff... you know, to really finish it. But your job is done."

"It's amazing!" the brunette says before she huggs me. "Unfaithful records is amazing. I'm glad Miley told me to switch record companies."

I return her smile. Yeah, Unfaithful records has finally found it's place in London - and that is right on the top. Within a few weeks we've released more number one hits than any other label. Finally, my life seems to get back into it's normal routine... it's routine before him.

"When will you guys be done with it?" It's Selena's agent who asks that. He's been pushing her a lot the last weeks. Her life seems to be anything but all glamorously.

"Soon. I'll say within a week. Not more."

"Awesome!" Selena says, grinning like crazy. "This album is the best one yet. All thanks to you, Gabriella."

* * *

My cellphone is ringing as I'm sitting the black cab, which is driving me to the airport. We are all flying to Mexico, for Miley's birthday. We have been doing it ever since we were eightteen. Ever since our graduation. It's a tradition. A tradition no one dares to break.

The rain is insane, coating London into a mysterious atmosphere. I'm beginning to love London and it's different facades. It's different faces... In a way, London has something from Manhattan. Both have a Bolton brother.

My ringing cellphone interrupts my thoughts. "Hello?" I ask the unknown caller.

No one answers. I can hear someone breathing heavily on the line. For a second, I let silence overtake us.

"Anyone there?" I ask again, brushing through my dark locks.

The line clicks and it's dead.

I frown at my cellphone as we reach the private airport in London. Miley, Ryan, Kelsi and Lucas are all waiting for me in front of the plane.

I pay the driver before I climb out and get my suitcase out of the trunk of the black cab.

"You're late." I hear Ryan saying as I walk over to them.

I sigh, "I know, I'm sorry. I was stuck at the studio."

"With mixing Selena's new album? How is it? She's awesome, isn't she?" Miley asks me grinning.

I nodd, "She's awesome. Really easy to work with. And I'm finished with the album. I wanted to get it done before we jump into the plane."

"Let's get in then." Lucas suggests before we all get on board.

We chose to fly with Lucas' private plane instead of a regular plane. Why not use Miley's boyfriend's plane?

"You look good. Are you-"

"I feel good. I feel great actually." I interrupt Lucas smiling. "I'm okay..."

"So you're just as heartbroken as before." he says as we get seated next to each other.

I shrugg, "I will always be heartbroken, Lucas. You know that as much as I do. But I've learned how to live with this pain. I learned that I can't ignore it. I can't compensate my feelings with sex anymore. I'm not over him. I probably never will be... But I am okay. I'm holding up."

"Cabo will be good for you. It'll give you the break which you need."

* * *

The Mexican sun in shining down at our bodies. Mexico is beyond hot - and beyond fun.

After Miley's birthday bash last night, we barely made it out of the beds this morning.

Of course Ryan and Lucas were all fit and awake. Really, what is it with men and alcohol?

They dragged us out of our beds and gave Kelsi and Miley aspirin for their hangovers. I didn't drink last night, so I'm not left with a pretty nasty hangover - according to Miley and Kelsi - this morning.

We had a late breakfast with the guys and then we went to the beach to soak up some sun before our plane departs, which is in exactly ten hours.

So while the guys are surfing, we girls decided to work a little on our tan.

"My hangover is the worst ever!" Miley groans before turning around.

I pull my white floppy hat a little more over my eyes, covering them from the sun. "I'm just so tired."

"You and tired?! You went to bed being the first! Not even Ryan was this quickly!" Kelsi protests.

I shrugg, "I've been feeling very tired lately. Probably the stress with work."

"You have been working a lot lately. How many nights did you work through this week?"

"Two." I say and roll over to my side, to look at Kelsi. "You?"

"Not a single one. When my working hours have ended, they ended. I don't do overtime. Ever. A principle."

"Maybe I should try that as well..." I say and giggle.

"No giggling! That hurts." Miley protests, holding her ears.

"Go back to the hotel then." I say, rolling my eyes.

"No, I want to have a tan when we're back in London. People should see that we've been somewhere sunny..."

"Do you miss California at times?" I ask her carefully.

She shakes her head right away, "No. If I didn't move to London, I wouldn't have Lucas now."

"So you guys are pretty serious, huh?" Kelsi asks her.

My blonde best friend opens her eyes and grins, "Pretty serious, yeah."

"You've been spending a lot of time with him lately..." I say and shrugg. "I'm glad you guys found each other. You make a great couple."

"You really do." Kelsi emphasizes and smiles.

The blonde nodds, "We are, aren't we?"

I yawn and strech, "Okay, you guys I better get up and take a walk or something. Otherwise I'm going to fall asleep again. Not so good in the sun."

Kelsi nodds, "Come back with a Pina Colada!"

"For me, too! But alcohol-free."

I nodd before I get up and walk down the beach.

The beach in Cabo is amazing. White sand, turqouise colored water... The water reminds me of Troy. Of his eyes. His amazing eyes...

There it is again. This pain in my chest. A pain which will never go away. A pain which is just waiting for me to remember him somehow to... to really hurt me.

I shiver as my mind creates a picture of him behind my closed eyes. God, he still haunts me. I can't escape him. In a way I don't want to... but then again I should. I should be able to escape from him...

I sigh as I let the water touch my feet and slowly walk down the beach. God, my heart still misses him like I left him yesterday. Like he left me yesterday. Like we left each other yesterday... Our relationship was complicated. Filled with pain. Anger. Frustration... But it was paired with love. An insanely amount of love. Love which was so strong that it hurt. And then he destroyed it. He destoryed our love within a moment. A minute... a second... a word.

I shiver, feeling suddenly cold in the warming Mexican sun. I turn around and feel my blood freezing as I see a man sitting far away from me at a bar. He is sipping his drink and looking at me. His eyes are burning it's way through my skin. They're hotter than the sun. They warm up my icy cold blood, making it flow through my veins again.

I blink. No it can't be true. He can't be here... in Cabo.

When I open my eyes again, I see another man. He has no longer Troy's eyes... Troy's body. He is no longer Troy. The love of my life.

I shake my head. I'm starting to imagine things... but it's never been this bad. I mean, sure I still dream about him. I still wake up, wishing he was here. I still look at my phone, wishing he'd call me but... Truth is, we've separated. We're over. O. V. E. R.

Only I am anywhere near being that. I think, I got stuck at the O... O like only I still love you although you fucking tore me apart.

I close my eyes again and let the sun dry the tear which is rolling down my cheek. Seconds later I feel a shadow on my face and open my eyes.

Lucas is walking over to me, wearing swim trunks and black sunglasses. He is already tanned. Perhaps due to the surfing which he has been doing the whole day with Ryan. Maybe I should try that as well.

"Hey," he says to me as he reached me.

I let my lips fake a smile, "Hi."

"Are you okay?"

I nodd, "I just... I thought..." I remain silent.

He smiles sadly at me before he places his hand on my shoulder, "I know..."

"Luc, did you give anyone my new cellphonenumber?" I ask him, suddenly remembering the phonecall before we boarded.

He shakes his head, "No. Neither did Ryan or Miley or Kelsi, I assume. Why?"

I shake my head, "It doesn't matter..."

"No it does. Why?"

I shrugg, "Someone called me before we boarded on the plane... While I was still in the cab."

"Did the person say something?"

I shake my head, "No... He probably got the wrong number or something."

Lucas nodds in agreement, "Probably." he sighs, "Listen, can we talk for a second? Just the two of us without the others staring at us?"

I look over his shoulder. He is right. Miley, Kelsi and Ryan are all staring at us. Surprisingly, there is no jealously in Miley's eyes. I nodd, "Okay. How about the bar?"

"Sounds good." he says before we make our way to the beach bar.

* * *

"So, what do you want to talk about?" I ask him, taking a sip of my alcohol free drink.

He sighs and brushs through his hair. "I don't know with what to start..."

"Just say it." He's making me worried.

"I want to ask her to marry me."

I chocked on my drink. _WhatI?! _"I... That is... I mean..." I shut up. There is not a single sentence I could form now.

His bright green eyes stare at me, stare through me... He is worried. Freaking out even... "Say something."

I shake my head, "It's... a little early don't you think? You guys know each other for two months."

He smirks, "Oh you had no idea what Troy's plans with you were..."

"Don't bring your brother into this. This is about you and not him. His plans are history. Your's are future."

He nodds, before he shruggs, "I'm just so sure... I've never been more sure, Gabs. Whenever I am with her or I think of her I feel... She's my home. She makes me calm. I want to come home to her for the rest of my life. Wake up beside her..."

I nodd and place my hand over his, "I know how you feel..." Because I felt like this once. "But why don't you try taking baby steps first? Ask her to move in with you. That's a start... And not such a radical movement."

"Do you think she'd say no?"

I shrugg, "When it comes to men, I'm complicated. Miley's easy. Whenever she feels something, she just lets herself feel it... And she feels love for you. A lot of love, Lucas. But I'm not sure if it's enough to make her say yes... Give her a little more time. A little more time to get used to... your life with her... her life with you." I say smiling softly at him. "We're all fucked up, Lucas. None of us has a whole soul. We're parts of souls. It's not a coincidence that we are all so close to each other. We stick to each other, stand behind each other no matter what. We have each other's back. We are a family. The only family we have left." I say to him. "But we're ready to add one more member to this family. A soul which seems to be whole. Perhaps you'll heal us all... You helped me a lot."

He nodds before he smiles softly at me, "You're not okay, are you?"

I shake my head, "I'm never going to be okay, Luc. They say it is my heart which is broken, but... my whole body hurts. Every cell cries for him. My heart aches for him. My hands miss touching him. My eyes miss seeing him. My ears miss hearing his voice... his laugh. My nose misses his smell. My lips miss his lips. And my broken soul... it misses it's second half. The half which makes it whole." I say, unable to hide the tears.

"It must be hard for you." he says, fondling my hand with his thumb.

"Hard?" I ask him back, shaking my head. "It is not hard, Lucas."

His eyes fill with confusion for a second.

"It is killing me. There is nothing I can do about it." I say with a shrugg, "I dream about him every single night since we separated. Every fucking night. I lay awake in my bed and wish for the sun to rise faster, so I won't fall asleep and dream about him again. Dream about my other half. The half which makes me cry in my sleep." I say and sigh. "I wish for someone to slow down the sun for me. Someone who makes it regradless for me if the sun is rising or setting. Because once the sun has set, my subconcious runs back to him in my dreams. I can't escape him. I might have left him. But he definitely hasn't left me."

* * *

**Hi guys! A new chapter, which you hopefully enjoyed reading! Please review!**

**Xoxo Nic**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6:**

_I feel adrenaline rushing through me, _

_Under my skin. _

_I can't calm down, _

_I'm on a high. _

_Your pulse becomes, _

_My beat tonight. _

_You've gotta, _

_Push, A little harder. _

_Push, A little harder. _

_Push, A little harder. _

_Push, A little harder. _

_Push, A little harder. _

_Push, A little harder. _

_Push, A little harder. _

_Ain't no rules tonight. _

_Turn it up, get it u-up, _

_Just the way I like it. (Come get with me), _

_I like it, (Girl watchin me). _

_So turn it up, get it u-up _

_Just the way I like it, (Come get with me), _

_I like it, (Girl watchin me). _

_Hey, hey, hey, just the way i like it, _

_Hey, hey, hey, wa-way i like it _

_You know what to do, _

_My hands on you. _

_You know what to do, _

_There ain't no rules. _

_You know what to do, _

_My hands on you. _

_You know what to do, _

_There ain't no rules tonight. _

_Turn it up, get it u-up _

_Just the way I like it, (Come get with me), _

_I like it, (Girl watchin me), _

_So turn it up get it u-up _

_Just the way I like it, (Come get with me), _

_I like it, (Girl watchin me). _

_Turn it up get it u-up _

_Just the way I like it, (Come get with me), _

_I like it, (Girl watchin me). _

_So turn it up get it u-up _

_Just the way I like it, (Come get with me), _

_I like it, (Girl watchin me). _

_Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. _

_Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. _

_Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. _

_Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah._

"That's it. You're finished." I say to the German singer through the mic.

The dark blonde woman walks over to me. Mandy Capristo has been in a girl group for the past years - until they sepapareted just recently. Now, she wants to start a career as a solo singer. And she definitely has the potential to do so. We've been working on her album for the past weeks... changing lyrics... melodies... beats... everything. She wants it to be pure perfection. A perfection which is set somewhere between rock, pop and soul. There's a song for each music direction on her album. Something for everyone.

Recording this album was a blast for me. She's easy to work with. Germans are easy to work with - at least the German singers which Alexander Bachstein gave me. Mandy has the ability to hit each note at the exact right moment. Rarely a singer has this... gift.

"That's it... the record is finished." she says before she throws herself on the chair next to me. "About time." she says, giggling as we both look at the watch. Eleven in the evening. Yes, it is about time.

"We could've worked on it tomorrow in the morning..." I trail off.

The blonde shakes her head, "I'm the most productive in the nights. It is then when inspiration hits me best... With no traffic... no distraction but me and my music."

I nodd, "I feel the same way. I work at night most of the time as well..."

"I'm glad Alex gave me to you, you know. You're an amazing producer... songwriter..." she says smiling before she yawns.

I hand her the blue cup which is filled with coffee, "Take a sip, otherwise you won't get home safely."

She smiles before she takes a sip, "Will you finish the record tonight or tomorrow morning?"

"This night. I should use the peace which is here in the studio." I say and start mixing the track which we just recorded. "I'll inform you when I'm finished."

The blonde gets up, "Isn't it creepy for you to work in a empty company... all alone?"

I shake my head, "I have security outside. 24/7. I'm not afraid... I rarely feel fear." I say and shrugg. After all this shit I've been through it is the best which I have left. No fear. Because I've lived through hell... Again and again. Nothing can scare me anymore.

"Okay. Have a good night then!" she says hugging me. „Who knows, maybe we'll work together on my next record as well."

"It was a real pleasure to work with you." I say smiling to her.

* * *

_To my one and only _

_you know I've been lonely _

_you know iIve been waiting for you to come around _

_i know that you're busy _

_but can you please show me _

_needed you know what I was all about _

_The way you you _

_and the way i _

_and you said that _

_and you touched me _

_and i loved it _

_and i told you _

_in the moonlight _

_that it was so intense _

_and then you kissed me _

_and you led me _

_to the stairway _

_with my guard down _

_in the morning _

_when i woke up _

_yeah i realized _

_that it was so intense _

_You push and you pull me _

_you're blowin me over _

_you're showin' me things i didn't know they exist _

_and i keep on going _

_afterthoughts flowin _

_awake to the taste of you still on my lips _

_The way you you _

_and the way i _

_and you said that _

_and you touched me _

_and i loved it _

_and i told you _

_in the moonlight _

_that it was so intense _

_and then you kissed me _

_and you led me _

_to the stairway _

_with my guard down _

_in the morning _

_when i woke up _

_yeah i realized _

_that it was so intense _

_Ooh ooh send me back _

_oooh you send me back again _

_(so intense) _

_ooh ooh send me back _

_oooh you send me back again _

_ooh ooh send me back _

_oooh you send me back again _

_ooh ooh send me back _

_oooh you send me back again _

_I wanna get you around here _

_get you around here _

_make you say _

_say my name out loud _

_i wanna feel that emotion _

_be in the moment _

_turnin me _

_turnin me inside out _

_turnin me inside out _

_To my one and only _

_you know i've been lonely _

_you know i've been waiting for you to come around _

_The way you you _

_and the way i _

_and you said that _

_and you touched me _

_and i loved it _

_and i told you _

_in the moonlight _

_that it was so intense _

_and then you kissed me _

_and you led me _

_to the stairway _

_with my guard down _

_in the morning _

_when i woke up _

_yeah i realized _

_that it was so intense _

_The way you you _

_and the way i _

_and you said that _

_and you touched me _

_and i loved it _

_and i told you _

_in the moonlight _

_that it was so intense _

_and then you kissed me _

_and you led me _

_to the stairway _

_with my guard down _

_in the morning _

_when i woke up _

_yeah i realized _

_that it was so intense _

_I wanna get you around here _

_get you around here _

_make you say _

_say my name out loud _

_i wanna feel that emotion _

_be in the moment _

_turnin me _

_turnin me inside out _

_i wanna get you around here _

_get you around here _

_make you say _

_say my name out loud _

_i wanna feel that emotion _

_be in the moment _

_turnin me _

_turnin me upside down_

The song plays inside of my mind over and over again. It mixes itself with picture of Troy. Pictures of us. Pictures of... our love.

_To my one and only _

_you know i been lonely _

_you know i've been waiting for you to come around _

_i know that you're busy _

_but can you please show me _

_needed you know what i was all about _

I don't exist without him... But then again, somehow I do. I work. Eat. Sleep... but only half-way. I am only half alive...

_I wanna get you around here _

_get you around here _

_make you say _

_say my name out loud _

_i wanna feel that emotion _

_be in the moment _

_turnin me _

_turnin me inside out _

_turnin me inside out _

"Gabriella..." I hear someone saying.

_The way you you _

_and the way i _

_and you said that _

_and you touched me _

_and i loved it _

_and i told you _

_in the moonlight _

_that it was so intense _

_and then you kissed me _

_and you led me _

_to the stairway _

_with my guard down _

_in the morning _

_when i woke up _

_yeah i realized _

_that it was so intense _

Suddenly the music stops. The song has vanished. So did the pictures.

"Gabriella, wake up..." I hear the same voice saying. For second, I hear his voice. Troy's voice.

I feel someone touching my shoulder, shaking me softly. "Gabi..."

My eyes flutter open. For a nanosecond I see him looking into my eyes. I see crystal blue ...

Then the blue eyes disappear, the crystal blue vanishes into a bright green and I see Lucas. I frown. If only it were the other Bolton brother...

"I've fallen asleep." I conclude after a second, causing Lucas to smile.

He nodds, "You got us worried."

"What time is it?" I say, slowly rising from the mixing plate, on which I've fallen , my neck is pretty stiff.

"Four in the morning." he explains as I stretch myself.

"Oh." I say a little surprised. I don't fall asleep in the studio. Ever.

"Ryan called Miley and me half an hour ago. He was freaking out. He got us all worried. Minus Kelsi, since she's the only who can sleep even deeper than you can." he says chuckling, "I quickly concluded where you could be. Since Miley had drunken more wine than she should have and Ryan was on painkillers due to his headache, I drove to the studio. Where I find you fallen asleep. On the mixing desk. Playing this song over and over again." he smirks.

I shrugg before I yawn, "I got lost in work... again."

"Who's the singer?"

"Mandy Capristo. A German singer. One from Alex." I say simply before I rise from the chair and switch off the lights in the recoding studio.

"She sounds... breathtaking."

"She really is amazing." I say nodding as we both walk to the exist. "Thanks for waking me, by the way."

"You should sleep in your bed. Not on your mixing desk, Gabs." he says, sounding serious out of the sudden.

"The mixing desk helps me... The dreams aren't as badly as in my bed. It's just pictures then. They don't hurt as much as..." I say with a shrugg, as if this would explain everything. „Besides, I've been really tired lately..."

"You just need to sleep one night through. Without any work."

I shake my head, "Work is only thing which keeps me going, Luc. Plus, with the beneficial concert just around the corner... It's been stressfull."

"The concert, right... When is it again?" he asks me helplessly.

"On Saturday." I say back, "And it's sold out." I add with a smile on my lips.

Lucas' mouth opens, before he closes it again.

"I saved you guys tickets. Backstage-passes, actually. After all, I know that you kind of love Justin Timberlake and Nicole Scherzinger." I say with a shrugg.

He smirks, "I don't _love_ them..."

"You surely do." I say and let out a little laugh.

"Did you guys already got the CDs?"

I nodd, "They got sent in this morning. Twelve thousand CDs... I hope at least someone will buy it."

"They will be sold out sooner than you think, Gabs. I mean, you... You brought all these amazing singers together to perform on one stage. It's going to be a day to remember."

I shrugg, "I just want it to be a day which heartsick people profit from."

"And they will. The tickets for 'Aching hearts' were sold out in only a couple of hours - and I mean one simple tickets costs two hundret dollar. Let alone seating places... Or backstage-passes. Plus, a CD is not so inexpensive as well. You will raise a lot of money with this concert."

I smile, "I hope so."

"I promise you. 'Aching hearts' is going to be amazing. People will buy the CD which contains a collection of lovesick songs. _And_ you will help a lot of sick people."

I nodd and smile proudly. Maybe this really will all work out. After all, it's for a good cause.

Suddenly his lips form a thin line, showing me that something is on his mind. All the pride I felt and the happiness vanishes. Oh-ho, this is bad. Thin line, means something really bad is going to happen...

"Lucas, what is it?" I ask him worried.

"He's coming to London."

My eyes shut open, my limbs, my mind... everything is suddenly wide awake. "When?"

"Next week." he says slowly, as if he was walking on a minefield.

"For your birthday." I conclude. Their birthdays are next thursday.

"Yes."

"You got anything planed yet?" I ask him casually, although inside of me all the alarm clocks are ringing. Troy's coming. He's coming. To London. Troy is coming to London!

He shakes his head, "No. We want no birthday party. We never celebrated our birthdays... it was just another day. But we spend the day together because we rarely see each other."

"You won't spend it with Miley?"

He shruggs, "I would love to but... I don't want Troy to feel like he is the third wheel. That's why I thought you-"

"No." I interrupt him. "I'm not ready to see him. Face him. I... I am barely holding up, Luc. I don't know how my heart would react if I saw him. Perhaps it would shatter into even smaller pieces."

"But maybe it won't." he suggests, holding the door of his car open for me.

"I doubt it. I really doubt it." I say to him, climbing into the black Porsche Cayenne Sport.

"Gabi, give it a try. He's suffering. Maybe even more than you." he says into my eyes and continues before I can responde, "Last time I spoke to him, he was in Washington DC. He said he needed to fix some things before he could come back... Surely he meant coming back to you."

"Drop the subject, Lucas." I ask him as kindly as I can be right now.

"Listen I-"

"Drop it, Luc. I am begging you..." I say and look into his eyes, revealing my teary eyes.

"I'm just trying to help. My brother and you."

"Drop it, or I'm going to explode into more than just tears and a few dirty words."

He nodds, "Okay... I won't urge you into meeting him. Not anymore."

"Thank you." I say to him as he drives off.

London at night is amazing. So calm... So peacefull. The streets are nearly all empty, we barely see a driving car on the street. If so, it is a black cab. I look out of the window, watching the buildings, mansions and boutiques passing us by. We rarely talk, but it's a comfortable silence. It always has been with Lucas. It probably always will be.

"When does his plane arrive?" I ask him as we drive on the tower bridge, having the thames beneath us.

"On Monday in the noon. I'll pick him up. He's spending two weeks here."

"Did he tell you why?"

Lucas is silent, giving me an answer which I probably don't want to know.

I brush through my dark brown locks, "It's okay. Tell me."

Lucas stops due to a red light and looks at me, "He's thinking about moving to London."

"He's following me." I breath out. I didn't expect this. Not now. Not from him. Not at all, actually! Who the fuck does he think he is?! I mean, I left him for Christ's sake and he- Suddenly my stomach turns around, making me want to choke. I tear open the door and puke out of the car, puke everything which I've eaten out. Which hasn't been a lot, by the way.

"Are you okay?" Lucas asks me, ignoring the angry black cab driver behind us who is honking like crazy.

I nodd as I close the door again, "Just drive me home. I told you, that my body probably won't take the news as easily as I thought..."

"I'm sorry."

I shrugg as an answer. I don't know what to say. How to react. He is throwing himself into my fucking life again. The life he fucked up so badly that... That I had to give everything up. "I don't want to meet him. Not now. Not ever." I say out loud. I'm lieing to Lucas. To myself. But it's what I need to hear. What I need to hear to... to not break down again.

"You'll change your mind. Maybe you need to see him one last time. To say goodbye. To end it. End it in a way, you couldn't before you moved to London."

I sigh. Perhaps he's right... Maybe I should meet him. Meet the man who has torn be apart. Who has given me more pain than I can take. Who has made me love him so much that it hurts.

* * *

**Hey guys! I'm ****_so sorry_**** for the late update! I've been busy with my assignments and stuff. Hope you forgive me and review!**

**Xoxo Nic**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7:**

_It's been running round my head_

_Running round my head_

_Try'na find the way_

_To forget it get it_

_Baby it's just too close..._

_Baby you still too close..._

_Try'na look ahead_

_Try'na look ahead_

_Gotta way to go before I can admit it_

_Too close..._

_Baby you still too close..._

_If you ask me how I feel... I'll say_

_I'm doing good_

_I'm doing fine_

_Hoping this smile hides the pain that's inside_

_I'm doing good_

_I'm doing fine_

_Don't ask again I might break down and cry_

_Am I ever-ever gone forget it_

_Don't wanna spend my life regretting_

_I just wanna leave you behind_

_I'm doing fine fine fine_

_Got me pinned against the wall_

_Waiting for your call_

_Better let it ring_

_Six times before_

_I pick it up you too close_

_Baby you just too close_

_Don't wanna let you see_

_What's inside of me_

_Just incase you see the shape of my heart_

_It's all twisted and broken_

_If you ask me how I feel... I'll say_

_I'm doing good_

_I'm doing fine_

_Hoping this smile hides the pain that's inside_

_I'm doing good_

_I'm doing fine_

_Don't ask again I might break down and cry_

_Am I ever-ever gone forget it_

_Don't wanna spend my life regretting_

_I just wanna leave you behind_

_I'm doing fine fine fine_

_Ask me I'll say... I'm doin fine_

Mandy Capristo finishes the song, letting the loud applause fill the atmosphere which she tops with pride.

So far, it's been a pretty good day. The twelve thousand people who bought the tickets to attend the "Aching hearts" beneficial concert series seemed all to be here. The O2 Stadium is beyond full. People are screaming, dancing, having a good time. Even the CDs are almost all sold out. All in all, it's a pretty successfull event.

I grin as I watch Mandy walking off the stage. Seconds later Justin Timberlake walks on stage, leaving the girls breathless and the guys screaming like the girls should. Yeah, Justin is definitely one of the many highlights I made sure the event would have. Exclusive songs... Exclusive meetings backstage with the stars... All the help heartsick people.

"Hey," I hear Lucas voice, before I feel his hand around my waist. "I bought you something to drink." he says, handing me a glass with water.

"Thanks." I say before taking a sip of the icy cold water. It's beyond hot today, but that didn't keep the people from storming into the stadium as soon as we opened the gates.

_Mmmmmm_

_Hey, yeah yeah yeah I'm in love with you..._

_you didn't have to run_

_I knew it was love from a mile away_

_but I had to catch ya_

_been running through my mind all day_

_baby_

_and they'll say I'm crazy_

_'cause anybody even when your father say_

_that I can't be with you_

_I don't hear a word they say_

"He's amazing." Lucas says, listening to Justin's song.

_cause I'm in love with that girl_

_so don't be mad at me_

_cause I'm in love with that girl_

_so don't be mad at me_

_so what you're from the other side of the track_

_so what the world don't think we match_

_i put it down like my loves on wax_

_guess what_

_im in love with that girl_

_cause she told me that shes in love with me_

"Where's Miley?" I ask him, looking around. She's on stage next.

"In the dressing room with Selena. They've been babbling the whole day..." Lucas says sighing before shaking his head. "Women."

I let out a laugh, "What do you want? They haven't seen each other since nearly three months now. Miley and Selena were inseparable."

"Is Selena part of your family?" he asks me with a raised eyebrow.

_now we didnt have to fall_

_but we fell in love to the bottom babe_

_no one there to catch us_

_like when you fell from heaven that day_

_baby_

_people always starin_

_but i dont even care nothing about it_

_babe_

_cause since i saw your face_

_ive been starin just the same_

_yeah mmmmm_

"She's pretty close to us." I answer his question, "But no, she's not part of the family... She didn't go through the shit we all did. She's a... An innocent soul. Kind of like you." I say smirking.

"But I do belong, don't I?"

_so dont be mad at me_

_cause im in love with that girl_

_so dont be mad at me_

_so what you're from the other side of the track_

_so what the world dont think we match_

_i put it down like my loves on wax_

_guess what_

_im in love with that girl_

_cause she told me that shes in love with me_

I pull him into a hugg, "Don't you worry, you will _always_ belong to us. We need at least one innocent soul in our family. For the balance of the universe." I say, showing him the tip of my tongue.

He laughs, before he shakes his head. "I would get Miley, but she just... She missed Selena so much."

I nodd, "I know..."

_my pretty lady_

_youll always be my baby, baby, baby_

_its so amazing_

_how you became my baby, baby, baby_

_my little daisy_

_come here let me rock you like a baby, baby, baby_

_pretty lady_

_dont you know youll always be my baby, baby, baby_

"Aren't you jealous?" he asks me suddenly.

"Of who?"

"Selena."

"Jealous? Me and jealous? I don't get jealous easily, Luc. I have trust in those I am with. I have trust in what I am doing. I _know_ that she loves us all... But are... Are you maybe jealous?"

_now dont it seem like these days_

_that everybodys got something to say_

_but i dont pay attention to the talk baby_

_and i dont really care_

_if they stop and stare_

_cause they see my number one_

_my number one girl_

His answer is filled with a shrugg, "I don't know. I mean, Selena seems to be a wonderfull young woman it's just..."

"You feel like the third wheel." I finish his sentence.

He shruggs again before I pull him into another hugg. "Lucas, you are no third wheel. You belong to us. To all of us. I mean, even Kelsi accepted you - and she's a real big barrier." I say and laugh a little.

He nodds, "Is it weird for me to have those thoughts?"

_i told you im in love with that girl_

_so dont be mad at me_

_im in love with that girl_

_oh no no_

_so dont be mad at me_

_i dont care_

_so what your from the other side of the track_

_so what the world dont think we match_

_i put it down like my loves on wax_

_guess what_

_im in love with that girl_

_cause she already told me that shes in love with me_

_haaahhhhhhh ooooooooooo_

"Yeah, it really is." Miley jumps in. "You should know by now, that you are above everyone else. Above Ryan and Kelsi. Even above you, Gabs. I'm sorry."

I shrugg as a response. I know how she feels like. I felt the same way. Somehow, I still feel that way.

"And you certainly are above Selena Gomez." she says, hugging him softly before kissing him quick. "Okay?"

"Okay..." he whispers back. I didn't think Lucas would have such a sensible side...

I smile at the both of them. They seem so happy. _So in love_. "Miley, I'm sorry to interrupt you guys, but-"  
"I know." she says, holding up her hand. "I'll see you two after I've rocked that stage!" she says, before walking off.

_im in love_

_yes im in love with that girl_

_i dont care what people say_

_people say_

_see_

_im in love with that girl_

Justin leaves the stage, letting Miley taking over. The screaming fans nearly explode as they see the 21-year old blonde walking on stage. After greeting them really quick she starts playing at the piano.

_Well it's good to hear your voice  
I hope you're doing fine,  
And if you ever wonder  
I'm lonely here tonight  
I'm lost here in this moment  
And time keeps slippin' by  
And if I could have just one wish, I'd have you by my side._

_Ohhou, I miss you, Ohhou, I need you._

I look over my shoulder, seeing pride and love sparkling in Lucas' emerald colored orbs. God, he madly deeply in love with her. Head over heels.

_And I love you more than I did before,  
And if today I don't see you're face  
Nothin's changed no one can take you're place,  
It gets harder every day.  
Say you love me more than you did before  
And I'm sorry it's this way.  
But I'm comin' home, I'll be comin' home  
And if you ask me I will stay, I will stay._

_Well I try to live without you,  
The tears drop from my eyes.  
I'm alone and I feel empty,  
God I'm torn apart inside.  
I look up at the stars,  
Hopin' you're doin the same.  
And somehow I feel closer,  
And I can hear you say..._

_Ohhou, I miss you, Ohhou, I need you._

_I love you more than I did before,  
And if today I don't see you're face  
Nothin's changed no one can take you're place,  
It gets harder every day.  
Say you love me more than you did before  
And I'm sorry it's this way.  
But I'm comin' home, I'll be comin' home  
And if you ask me I will stay, I will stay, always stay._

Miley finishes the song, letting every one of us breathless for a second or two. The complete silence in the stadium makes the goosebumps on my skin grow, before they vanish due to the applause which fills the _huge_ stadium. The blonde grins, before she introduces her friend, Selena Gomez.

The brunette storms the stage, making the many fans go even crazier than they already were. Without a word, Selena starts singing.

_Nows all we got and time can't be bought._

_I know it inside my heart forever will forever be ours._

_Even if we try to forget, love will remember._

_You said you love me, I said I loved you back_

_What happened to that, what happened to that_

_All your promises, and all them plans we had,_

_What happened to that, what happened to that_

_Boom gone, yeah we move on, even if we try to forget,_

_Love will remember you, love will remember me_

_I know it inside of my heart,_

_Forever will forever be ours, even if we try to forget,_

_Love will remember, love will remember_

_Love will remember, love will remember, love will remember_

_The trips we dreamed of taking the tacks left on the map,_

_What happened to that, what happened to that_

_When all you had was nothing, and all we did was laugh_

_What happened to that, what happened, what happened to that_

_Boom gone, yeah we move on, even if we try to forget_

_Love will remember you, love will remember me_

_I know it inside of my heart,_

_Forever will forever be ours, even if we try to forget,_

_Love will remember, love will remember_

_Love will remember, love will remember, love will remember_

_Break down the walls let heaven in, somewhere and forever we'll dance again,_

_We used to be inseparable, I used to think that I was irreplaceable_

_We lit the whole world up, before we blew it up,_

_I still just don't know, how we screwed it up_

_Forever, forever, forever_

_Love will remember you, love will remember me_

_I know it inside of my heart,_

_Forever will forever be ours, even if we try to forget,_

_Love will remember, love will remember_

_Love will remember, love will remember, love will remember_

Selena leaves us breathless as well. We all could feel the pain she had felt when she recorded and written it with me. It was not an easy time. But we made it through... We all did. Some better than others.

I frown as Selena winks towards me. Is she winking me on the stage? Oh no, not with me, brunette singer!

I shake my head, feeling safe and sound right where I am.

Miley frowns before she runs towards me. "Come on, it's the finale song of the concert. All the singers will sing it together. Including you, since you have an amazing voice and you wrote the song with OneRepublic."

My mouth drops open. Me on the stage? I haven't been on a stage since _years_. The last time I actually performed on a stage was in Julliard... That seems like in another life.

"Miley, I-"

"No. You will come on stage. We _all_ want you on stage." Ryan Tedder, the singer says to me smiling like crazy. He holds out his hand. "Come on." he says, leaning his head towards the right.

I sigh, "Fine! Fine, I'll do it!"

"Yay!" Miley screams.

"Good, because your part is the bridge - with me." Ryan mumbles as we walk on stage, on which Justin Timberlake, Nicole Scherzinger, Selena Gomez, Rihanna, Leslie Clio, Mandy Capristo and the band from OneRepublic is already performing.

A weird feeling overcomes me. Is it my nervousness? I doubt it. Nervousness feels different. But what is it then?

_I guess this is what it's supposed to feel like_

_When we don't talk, no we don't talk, we don't talk anymore._

_I guess this is what it's supposed to sound like_

_The universe, the universe, universe is torn._

_I know I can live without you_

_I can live without you half the day, heeeay hey_

_I know I can live without you_

_And put life off for another day_

_hey-hey yeah hey-hey yeeeah_

_But I can't stop_

_Thinking about.. thinking about us_

_Anymore oooh oh_

_I said I can't stop_

_Thinking about.. thinking about us_

_Anymore ooh oh_

_I said I can't stop.. no_

_Thinking about.. thinking about this_

_Anymore ooh oh_

_And all I've got.. uuuh_

_Is nothing I want_

_Anymore ooh oh_

_No I never get used to silence_

_But I don't hear, no I don't hear_

_I don't hear you anymore._

_I know I had to look hard to find it_

_Everything, everything,_

_Everything is gone._

_I don't want to live without you_

_And put life off for another day_

_hey-hey yeah hey-hey yeeeah_

_But I can't stop_

_Thinking about.. thinking about us_

_Anymore oooh oh_

_I said I can't stop_

_Thinking about.. thinking about us_

_Anymore ooh oh_

_I said I can't stop.. no_

_Thinking about.. thinking about this_

_Anymore ooh oh_

_And all I've got.. uuuh_

_Is nothing I want_

_Anymore ooh oh_

_I can see stars, I can see our lights_

_and I swear that they're shining here_

_I can see stars, I can see lights... shining here._

_But I can't stop_

_Thinking about.. thinking about us_

_Anymore oooh oh_

_I said I can't stop_

_Thinking about.. thinking about us_

_Anymore ooh oh_

_I said I can't stop.. no_

_Thinking about.. thinking about this_

_Anymore ooh oh_

_And all I've got.. uuuh_

_Is nothing I want_

_Anymore ooh oh_

_uuuh uuuh uuuh uuuh_

As we all finish the song, I feel a tear rolling down my cheek. Partly, because this is all over and I am _so proud_ and partly because I fucking miss him. Now more than ever.

I hate him.

And I love him.

Forever.

We all walk off the stage and I hand the microphone to grinning Kelsi, who says the last words to the fans before we let them out.

* * *

Hours later, I am still helping to clean everything up at the O2 Studio. All the singers left an hour ago, but not before signing every single of the twelve thousand CDs. It was an amazing night. An amazing day. A day to remember.

"I'm heading home. Do you want me to drive you?" Lucas asks me.

I turn around, "I thought you were already home. With Miley."

He shakes his head, "She's staying overnight at Selena's hotel. A girl's night out."

"Mhm..." I say, already knowing what that means. Clubbing for the whole night.

"I know." he says, agreeing with me. "I just hope, she won't overdo it."

I shake my head, "Don't you worry about Mils, Luc. Sel is going to have a really good eye on her. We all know what effect alcohol has on her... She's going to be fine. Trust me."

"I do." he says, quicker than I could say any more.

I smile. "Of course you do."

"So, shall I drive you home or not?"

I frown. Suddenly I know why I had this feeling earlier on stage. Suddenly I know what this feeling was. To which emotion it belongs to. Or rather to whom it belongs to.

"He was here, wasn't he?" I ask him carefully. Perhaps my insticts foul me. It's not like it would be the first time after all.

His smile vanishes. His bright green eyes widen. But he remains silent.

"Am I right?" I ask him slowly.

His lips are still closed. Is he keeping a secret from me?

"Am I right, Lucas?"

"Yes." he says with clenched teeth. "I asked him not to, but he-"

"He was here anyways." I say as he nodds. "The whole night?"

He shakes his head in response, "No. Just the last... performance. I spotted him behind all these fans. He just stood there. Watching the concert. Listening to the songs. To the lyrics... to you." he says with a shrugg.

"You said he would come on monday."

He shruggs again, "Guess he took a plane ealier..."

I shake my head, "I can't believe he was here." Why didn't he talk to me? Why didn't he... I shake my head again. No, this is... "Where is he now?"

Lucas answer is filled with another shrugg. "I have no idea. He didn't call me when he landed. It surprised me just as much as you."

"So, you has no idea as well?"

"No idea..." he mumbles. I wonder if he's lieing to me again.

"Really?"

"Would I lie to you?"

"I don't know. Would you?"

He frowns at me. "For Troy, I would. Even for Miley..."

"See?" I say.

"But I'm not lieing." he ensures me.

I nodd, although my instincts tell me otherwise.

* * *

**A new chapter! Please review! :)**

**Xoxo Nic**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8:**

I let my fingers glide over the keynotes of the Bechstein piano in the recording studio. I haven't been able to work the whole week. Ever since Lucas told me that Troy would come to London to... to find himself a house, a place to work at... a life, I... I just couldn't concentrate. He's turning my world upside down without even knowing it. Without wanting it, most probably.

I sigh. Damn it, Troy Bolton. You make everything so complicated and easy at the same time. It has been four days since Troy has touched the London ground. I completely sealed myself off of everyone. I barely talk to anyone, afraid I'll have another emotional outburst. I can't sleep. I can't eat. I can't live with him here. It doesn't work. It just... He's killing me without knowing it.

_Walking_

_Same side_

_Wish I could hold on to what's on my mind_

_Walking_

_Hold tight_

_Wish I had known how to be on your side _

_If I'd known before_

_I'll be holding you so tight_

_Try to get it right this time _

_Never should have followed that dream, know what it's all about _

_I'll be loving you somehow_

_Start to give it to you now _

_Show you but a laugh and cry, baby I will ease your mind_

I frown as my fingers stop playing. I have no idea where this just came from. Do I feel that way? I sigh, I don't know what I feel. _How_ I should feel.

All I know is that he broke me. Again.

_Walking_

_Same side_

_Wish I had known from the start to be kind_

_Walking_

_Hold tight_

_Look for a way cause I'm willing to try_

_If I'd known before_

I feel the tears rolling down my cheeks. They clash against the keynotes from the piano as I continue playing the melody. I hate him for doing this to me.

But I still love him although he did this to me.

I hate him because I love him. I love him because I hate him.

Oh fucking love!

I get up from the music stool and walk over to my purse. It's another night on which I am working through. Music is the only thing which keeps me going. The only distraction I need.

I pull out my BlackBerry and type in a number. The only number I know by heart.

But I hesitate to push the call-button. I can't call him. I can't... face him. I'd break down if I did. And I don't want to give him that kind of power over me.

I brush through my dark brown locks and sigh. I don't know what to do. Being with him is a roller coater ride. Being apart from him is even a worse roller coaster ride.

I place the phone on the closed lid of the piano. I can't do this. I can't face him although my heart has been doing nothing but crying for him in the last days. It aches for him. Only stronger now that it knows he's here. In London.

He was at the concert... and he didn't even talk to me. Perhaps it's over for him. Totally over. Maybe he is over me. Maybe he is... the opposite of me.

I sigh, maybe I am too weak after all. Perhaps that's reason for everything. The abusements... my mother not caring about me... why Mark did the money laundering without telling me... Troy stealing my company... me fleeing to London.

I turn around and have to hold tight to the keybord notes as I see a man standing in the dark. How did he get in here?! It's in the middle of a fucking night!

I frown.

He doesn't move. Neither do I.

Am I imagining things once more?

He's wearing dark pants and an oxford shirt. He's tall and slim. Perhaps even muscular. That's all I can tell due to his silouette. He's nearly a shadow, that's how dark it is. The only light source comes from the lustre which is hanging above the paino in this huge room.

"Sir, the studio is closed. If you have any intention to-" my voice freezes as the man moves a little in the dark. He moves a little towards the light, revealing his full image.

Everything inside of me freezes, clenchs and fills with pain at the same time. Above it all is a slight dosis of joy.

I automatically take a step back as the figure walks into the light, showing me that I may not be imagining things this time after all. My hips bump against the piano very heavily, but I ignore the pain. I didn't expect this. Not him. Not here. Not now. Not at all!

My breath is gone as my eyes lock with his. His icy blue eyes stare at mine, stare through them... search for my soul.

I stand still. I'm frozen. I don't know what to do. How to feel. How to react.

He walks over to me, gracefully as he has always been. Long, luscious steps towards me. And I am unable to do anything. To breath. To think. To move. To function.

He stops right in front of me, his icy blue orbs have changed color. The coldness has disappeared. It vanished, leaving a bright blue sparkling color.

For an eternity we just stare at each other's eyes, getting drunk into all the emotions which slowly build deep, deep inside of us. Emotions which I am no longer able to hold back. Emotions which never have been more powerfull than just now.

"My angel," he breaths out, about to touch my cheek.

I response with a strong, maybe the most powerfull, slap. My right hand burns from the strength. His cheek is glowing in a fine red color. He seems shocked. Shocked that I just slapped him. Well, he deserves it. He deserves even more than that!

Actually I didn't plan this... No, actually I didn't plan any of this! I was fine without him! Sure, not exactly fine without him but... I was fucking holding up! And now he... He just fucking walks into my life again and expects us to continue where we started! What the fuck is wrong with this man?! So wrong that he fucking took everything I ever had. He used my love for him to get what he wanted. That bastard! This asshole! He did it all without regrets! Without-

Tears start streaming down my face as pain starts making it's way into my chest again, pushing the anger away. I let them roll down my cheeks, not able to control my emotional state any longer.

He watches me closely, not moving an inch further away from me. He stares at me. At my eyes, as if he was able to read what's going on my mind. Well he isn't capable of that. Luckily.

I frown at him as the tears stop out of the sudden. I have no idea what is going on with my body. Ever since I've moved to London it's like I am not myself anymore. Because he broke me. Tore me apart.

"Get out." I say in such a strong voice that it surprises me. I didn't know I had strength in my emotional bag tonight. I thought I'd only be left with anger and pain. "Leave this building. You have nothing to do here." I emphasize, my eyes reflection all three emotions: Anger, pain and strength.

But he doesn't move. He just stares at me, saying nothing.

"Didn't you hear me?! I said GET OUT! Leave me alone, Troy." I say into his eyes, stuck between his 1,80m body and the piano. There is no way I will be able to get out of here without him moving. He has me under control... if only just physically.

He raises his hand very carefully, probably afraid of another slap from me.

I can hear my heavy breath as his hand comes closer to my face. I freeze for a second as he touches my cheek, fondling it softly. God, my body has waited _ages_ for his touch! "My angel..." he says again, this time softer. I let my ears allow hearing his voice. Embracing this sound. His sound. His amazing voice, which gives me chills down my spine.

I close my eyes, feeling one tear escape my eyes after all. He broke me. And I am running straight back to him.

When I open my eyes again, I recognize for the first time that he seems to relax as well. He was just as stiff as I was. He smiles at me, making my heart burst into thousand tiny happy pieces.

And then it is there again. Out of the sudden the atmosphere starts changing again. The sexual tension is there, the one which seems to be there whenever we're in the same building. It's this bond, this connection, which keeps us together... which makes it impossible for us to be apart.

I place my hands on his chest, well aware that his breathing quickens. His bright blue eyes stare at me, changing color to a darker blue. I stare back for a moment, before I pull the collar of his oxford shirt towards me, pressing my lips on his.

Sparkles, fireworks, an atomic bomb explodes inside of me. Inside of _us_ as our lips touch. Our tongues start playing the same game as always. A game which never stoped. Or so it seems. We explore each other's mouths, wanting more, needing more of each other. It's like rain in the desert which starts to flourish.

Within one movement from him, I am sitting on the piano. I don't know how he does it, but he possesses me. He obsesses me. He is my drug. My everything. All I will ever need.

I start unbuttoning his shirt in a new record time, faster than ever, revealing his perfect chest. A chest I haven't seen in months. I haven't been able to touch in months. To _feel_ in months. But he doesn't give me time to enjoy his body.

He pushs my dark red dress up to my hips, before he slides off my panties. I unbutton his trousers and pull them down along with his boxers, revealing his pulsing errection.

Our lips combine in the same moment as our bodies to, feeling conntected for the first time in months. I almost forgot how he feels like inside of me. How big and amazing he is. How he strechtes me... what a feeling he gives me.

He kisses me as he pushs my body down on to the closed lid of the piano. It's hard and strong - but then again so is he. The lid is cooling my back, while he is turning the front of my body on fire. His hands lace with mine, pushing my arms above my head as he continues pushing inside of me. Slowly at first, to ease me into this.

I am at his mercy.

Like I probably always will be.

_"Gabriella,"_ I hear a voice saying.

No, please not now.

_"Gabi, wake up..."_

Something shakes me, shakes the image inside my head until it vanishes.

I open my eyes and stare into emeraled colored orbs. Damn it.

"Lucas," I breath out and smile a little. Of course his brother has to wake me up from my dream again. Stupid Bolton men. Always do the one thing you don't want them to. "Hi."

He smiles softly at me, "Get up, sleepy head." he says, offering his hand.

I take it to help me getting up from the music stool. I've fallen asleep at the piano. I yawn, before I start stretching myself. "Why did you wake me? You could have let me sleep."

He raises an eyebrow at me, "And risk getting my head ripped off by Miley, Kelsi or Ryan? No, not with me, Sleeping Beauty."

I roll my eyes. They're not that aggressive... Or are they? "What time is it?"

"Almost midnight." he says, taking a look at his ROLEX. "Now it's midnight." he adds softly, his lips forming a tiny smile.

"Well then, big boy, happy birthday!" I say, pulling me into a hug. "Your present is already at home - just like Ryan's present."

"Thanks." he says grinning, now being 25 years old.

"You most probably didn't want your birthday to start like this, now did you?"

Luc chuckles, "I was working late myself. I just got out of the office myself. On my way home I saw the lights switched on in your studio... Besides, I told you that we don't celebrate our birthday... We just spend the day together."

I nodd, "A tradition." I mumble. Kind of like Miley's birthday for us.

"Somehow, yeah." he adds softly as we walk out of the building. "You need to stop working the nights through. Otherwise you're going to go insane."

I answer with a shrugg, "Maybe..."

Suddenly the atmosphere changes as we stop in front of his black Porsche Cayenne with it's heavily tinted windows. I feel a chill going down my spine - and it's not coming from the cold weather in London at night. Goosebumps start making it's way onto my skin. My mouth dries out. My libido awakes.

No, definitely not the weather. Neither is it Lucas' presence.

"He's in the car." I conclude rather quickly, standing still in front of the closed passenger seat.

Lucas impression changes. The bright green sparkle vanishes, leaving amazement behind. "No."

"Liar." I say, taking a step back. Never has Lucas lied to me. Guess there's always a first. But then again, this is his brother. If not for him, then for who should he lie for?

He releases a heavy sigh, "Get into the car so I can drive you home, Gabs."

I shake my head, "I'll call myself a cab."

"Don't be stupid. It's in the middle of the night. You're gonne get robed or something while waiting for the cab here."

"I can wait inside the studio. It's mine after all." I answer cooly.

"For the Lord of God, get into the fucking car!" Lucas almost yells at me.

I frown at him, "What the hell is wrong with you?!"

He brushs through his dark blonde hair, "I just want you somewhere safely. Somewhere your family can have an eye on you."

I shake my head in response. I don't get it. Why is he in the car and why isn't he getting out of it? If I really do mean so much to him, then... then he should have the courage to get out of the god damn it car and talk to me. "I'll call a cab."

"For Christ's sake, Gabriella get into the damned car!" Lucas urges me.

"No." I stand still. Does he hear us? Is he watching us? For once, I wish the tinted windows weren't there.

"God, you guys are the most stubborn people I know! I mean, seriously, you guys obviously can't live without each other, but yet neither of you guys has the courage to make the first god damn step! Why are you so blind to see that?! Why does everything has to be so fucking hard with you, huh?! Is happiness a loanword for you?!" he cries out.

I remain silent. Woah, never have I seen Lucas this... this frustrated and angry.

"He won't do anything to you." Lucas adds softly after a minute of silence.

I frown at him. Is he playing games with me? For his brother he would... I think.

"He.. He walked into my office earlier. We had a good time there... A rather good time for him." he says, showing me a tiny smile. "He's drunk, Gabriella." he concludes for me.

Drunk?! Troy Bolton is drunk? As in... really drunk?! Seriously? Never have I seen him drunk. Not even a little tipsy. Boy, what the hell caused that?! "He's drunk?" I ask Lucas back, unable to hide the shock in my voice. Drunk, _really_?!

Lucas nodds slowly, "Drunk and fast asleep on the rear bench seat."

"He's drunk..." I breath out. It doesn't make sense. Troy Bolton doesn't get drunk. Ever.

"Yes, now would you _please_ get into the car so I can drive you home?" Lucas asks me again, opening the passenger door for me. "He won't touch you. He won't even know you're there." he promises me.

I stare at Lucas for an eternity or so, until I give in and climb into the car with it's beige leather interior.

I don't dare to turn around. Instead, I watch Lucas walking around the car and getting into it. I feel his presence behind me. It's taking my breath away. Riping me apart once more.

But it calms me as well. It calms me down. Gives me peace.

Lucas' eyes lock with mine for a second as he starts the car. He raises an eyebrow at me, _See, it's not that bad, isn't it?_

I roll my eyes at him and look out of the window as he starts driving through the non-existing traffic of London at night.

I try to focus on the moving images in front of my eyes, but my instincts urge me to turn around and look at him. Urge me to check up on him. Urge me to start caring the way I used to.

But I don't turn around.

For minutes, we drive in silence. Silence, which for the first time is nerve wracking and more than just uncomfortable. I wonder if it's because Lucas exploded towards me or because of his drunken brother, whom I love but don't turn around to face.

"I'm sorry for ealier." Lucas says softly, apologizing. He's making the first step, knowing that I really am the most stubborn person he knows.

I nodd and fake a smile, "He's your brother. I understand." I probably shouldn't, but I do. He is everything Lucas has left. Just like my family is all I have left - since my moth- Victoria is... Well, Victoria and Sharpay is... Sharpay and Vance is... Vance. All in all, I have nothing to do with them. I want nothing to do with them. I have a family. Here in London.

"You guys are just... so frustrating. Both of you." he explains, his teeth clenched. He wouldn't dare to explode another time, would he?

I am silent. I have nothing to add. Perhaps he is right. Maybe we both are... frustrating. Perhaps that's our problem.

No, our problems go deeper than that.

"Don't leave me..." I hear Troy mumbling.

My blood freezes as I hear his devastated voice. His voice which is full of need. Full of... sorrow. For a moment, I am not able to move or breath. I am shocked. Too shocked to do anything.

"It's been going on for a while..." Lucas adds in a whisper. "Every third minute, he mumbles it. Over and over again. And I don't think he means me."

I look shocked at Lucas, not daring to mask my amazement.

"He's suffering. Maybe even more than you." he adds as we stop at one of the rare red lights in the streets at night.

My mouth opens to response, but fails with words. Instead, he talks for me.

"I can't live without you..." Troy mumbles, his voice sending chills down my spine. His voice touches me on so many deep levels. Levels which go beyond him and me. Beyond everything.

Lucas shruggs at me before his eyes move to the rear bench seat. "Got nothing to add to that." he says softly, before he continues driving.

I brush through my dark brown locks before I let out a shaky sigh. He rips me apart and heals me at the same time. His voice hurts and heals me. It's such a bittersweet torture.

"_Please_ stay..." his voice fills the silent car again.

I shake my head, "Lucas, let me out. I can't hear that... I can't bare hearing him -"

"Hearing him what? Suffering? Because that's what he is going through, Gabriella. Just like you. He is my brother and all I want for him is to be happy... But ever since you... you left him, he is stuck in this fucking dark place." Lucas nearly hisses at me in a whisper tone. "He is not fine. He is not okay. He is not doing well, Gabriella." he emphasizes.

As if I didn't know. I _hear_ his sorrow. I feel his sorrow. But I can't... I can't just-

"You're my lifeline." Troy mumbles.

"Let me out." I urge Lucas, unable to hide the tears which are forming in my eyes.

"No." he says simply, locking the passenger door by pushing a button on his wheel. "You need to face him. He needs to face you. You guys have to talk and get your fucking minds..." Lucas is silent. "Our mother once told us, that love is only true if it hurts." his emerald colored orbs stare into mine for a moment. He captures my glance, not ever thinking of letting go. "And this hurts like hell for him. Maybe even more."

'_Hell will freeze when I stop loving you. _

_You force me to go through hell, Ella. _

_Going through fucking hell for you, my angel.' _

His words ring in my ears. He walked through hell more than once for me. I gulp.

"Just look at him, Gabriella. He is not himself anymore. He changed when he met you and he changed when you left him. You may say that you're fine but you're not. You're broken. Just like him. You guys can only fix each other." Lucas says as his hands building fists on the wheel. "I really don't get you guys. Everything has to be so hard with you. You can't just feel loved... You can't just be together, can you?!" he asks.

I shrugg. Maybe we really can't just be together. I brush through my hair before I take a deep breath. "Lucas, isn't not that easy."

"It is. I mean, you guys obviously have some twisted connection which is very rare, I believe. I mean, you _sensed_ him before you saw him. What exactly does that say to you?" he snapps at me, "It screams love to me. It should scream love to you as well. Straight to your both faces."

And above all that I am feeling right now, I really do still feel love. Above all this pain, this anger, the frustration... I feel love. Love for the man who broke me. Love for the man who made _me_ go through hell for him.

I bite my lip before I turn my head.

My eyes get drunk in his sleeping image. He's wearing dark pants, a white oxford shirt of which the first two buttons are open and his black tie is loosened up. His head is leaning against the tinted window. Eyes are closed. His dark blonde hair is messy and shorter than when we last saw each other.

All in all, he looks like perfection - although he is drunk and fast asleep.

He doesn't embody brokeness. Not like me.

My eyes scan his figure as if they needed to mesmerize him. Mesmerize every inch of him.

A single tear rolls down my cheek. I wish I could touch him. Hold him.

I turn my head around and get myself together again. I can't. We can't. It's over.

I realize that Lucas has parked the car. But not in front of my house. I live in Covent Garden. Neither is this Lucas house, since he lives in Egerton Crescent.

But we're in Kensington.

* * *

**A new chapter, you guys! I hope you enjoyed reading it and please, ****_please, _****_please review!_**

**__****Someone asked me for the titles of the songs, which I've used in the past chapter, so here's a list:**

**Slow down - Selena Gomez**

**The Way I like it - Mandy Capristo**

**Intense - Mandy Capristo**

**Doing fine - Monrose**

**That girl - Justin Timberlake**

**Stay - Miley Cyrus**

**Love will remember - Selena Gomez**

**Can't stop - OneRepublic**

**Sister Sun Brother Moon - Leslie Clio**

**Check out the songs, because they're all awesome!**

**What do you guys think of the drunken (maybe miserable?) Troy?**

**Until the next chapter :)**

**Xoxo Nic**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9:**

It's an impressive, newly built freehold house set within the heart of West London in South Kensington. It has a cutting edge architecture and a seven storey terrace. It seems _huge_. And breathtaking as if this house was especially built for a Bolton.

"It's his house." I mumble, amazed that Lucas would bring me here. He lives just thirteen minutes away from me. Close enough to visit me.

Yet, far enough to stay away from me.

"Yes." Lucas says. "I need to help me to get him home. I'll drive you home then."

I raise an eyebrow at him, "You're kidding right?"

"Gabriella..." he begs me.

"Only because it's your guys birthdays." I say and open the door of the Porsche.

"Thanks." he says to me, getting out of the car himself.

"Don't thank me yet, Luc." I mumble as I open the door, letting Troy's head fall softly against my shoulder. For the first time I notice the alcoholic smell which has mixed with the typical intoxicating Troy Bolton smell.

Lucas helps me getting Troy out of the car, waking him a little so he totters with me holding him over to the gate of his breathtaking house.

Lucas reachs inside his pockets and fishs out the key to open the iron gate. While Lucas is unlocking the huge, most probably French, gate, Troy embraces my body.

I have no idea if he does it on purpose of if he would do it to anyone.

"Lucas, hurry please. Your brother is heavy. And drunk." I urge him.

"I've got it... just a second." he mumbles before the iron door opens.

With Lucas' support we lead Troy to the locked front door of the beige stoned freehold house. Next he unlocks the milky glass front door before he pushs it open, so all three of us can walk in.

It's an amazing house. We stand in the foyer only, but it offers a full view of the garden which is enormous! I have a clear view over the living area on the ground floor, which is set behind the open black marbled kitchen.

"Don't tell me we have to walk up the stairs." I mumble, looking to my right straight at the free standing beige marbled staircase.

He shakes his head, "We can use the lift."

My mouth drops open. This place has a lift?!

Lucas lips form a smirk as he pushs the front door close. "A different world than New York, isn't it?"

I nodd, "Definitely." I mumble as he pushs a tiny silver button and we wait for the lift to arrive. It doesn't even take five seconds.

The glass doors glide silently open and we slowly walk into it. It's a little tight in the small lift, but it works. Somehow.

"Which floor?" I ask.

"Third." he says and I push the third button.

The lift starts moving, but softer than every other lift I have ever driven in. Seconds later the doors glide open and we stand in a little foyer again.

Lucas nodds towards the right and we slowly walk into the room, while Troy's head is rested against my shoulder. He has already fallen asleep again. The bedrooms looks breathtaking and classical. It's elegant. It's _so_ Troy Bolton. It has a champagne coloured silk carpet, built-in walnut cupboards and a huge bed with silk beddings. In front of the french windows there is a little balcony from which you have access to from the bedroom as well, as I can tell due to the open french doors.

"There we go, big bro." Lucas mumbles as we place Troy on the bed.

His body falls softly on the huge soft bed and he turns around on his stomach before he continues sleeping.

I walk over to the open french door and silently close it before I admire the view. He has a view of whole London up here. It's breathtaking - just as breathtaking as his view in New York.

My heart clenchs as I turn around and watch the sleeping figure on the bed. He looks so lost. So lonely...

"I'll get him an aspirin for his hangover and a glass of water." Lucas mumbles before leaving me alone in the bedroom with his brother.

I sigh, brushing through my hair before my eyes notice a picture standing framed on his nightstand. It's a picture of me.

A picture he has taken back when we were both still in New York. Still happy. Still in love.

I pick up the white wooden framed picture and take a closer look. It's a private picture. A picture he took after another mind-blowing night of sex. I remember this day as if it was yesterday. It was one of the rare mornings on which we woke up together. On which I didn't have to storm out of his apartment. A morning which we had just to ourselves.

The picture is an American Shot, showing me standing at the french window in his bedroom. I'm covering my bare skin with one of his silk sheets. The sun is rising over Manhattan, coating it into a warm blanket of pale pinks, lilacs and oranges like a mother for her child. I'm looking over my shoulder, straight into the camera, grinning at him.

_Flashback_

The rising sun fills his bedroom in pale pinks, purples, oranges and reds. It's _amazing_. Seeing the sun rising over the silver skyscrapers of Manhattan is the most breathtaking image to look at.

Well, it's nearly the most breathtaking image to look at.

I turn my head to the left and feel my breath once more getting stuck in my lungs. Even in his sleep, he makes me breathless.

He looks so young when he's asleep. He looks so relaxed. So happy... so perfect.

His dirty blond hair is a little messy and his legs are tangled with mine - as always when we sleep in one bed. His arm is embracing my torso, holding me close to him... making sure I won't run - again.

I bite my lip, before I carefully untangle myself from him. With a silk sheet wrapped around my body, I walk over to the French windows to admire the view. It's breathtaking. Probably the best view of whole New York City, with the Central Park beneath me and the skyscrapers in front of me, all a little lower than me. I have a clear view of the rising sun. I want to stay here forever. Right here in front of the windows. Wrapped in one of his silk sheets. After another night with him.

With the man I love.

I sigh, I do love him. I _really_ love him. Unconditionally.

"Hey," I hear his voice saying and I turn my head around to face him.

I giggle as the flash appears, my hideous grin reflecting nothing but the happiness and love I am feeling for this man right now. _God_, I really do love this man. "What are you doing?" I ask him, my voice still filled with giggle. I've never been any happier.

He returns my grin, only his is 1000 watt brighter than mine. Is he happier than me? Could he be happier than me?

I doubt it.

"I'm taking pictures." his answer is simple as he presses a button on his Nikon, causing another flash to appear. "Of you."

I laugh, before I gently pull the Nikon away from my face. "Stop it."

"Why shouldn't I want to capture such a beautiful woman?" he asks me, his eyes filled with warmth.

I flush slightly, still not used to the effect he has on me. My blood starts flowing quickly through my veins as I stare into his turqouise colored orbs.

Nothing makes sense for me, but him.

He's all I need.

Now and forever.

I grab the Nikon out of his hands and place it on the cupboard next to me carefully, not able to let go of his eyes. Because he has captured me once more.

As our lips connect, I know it.

I am his.

Always will be.

_End of Flashback_

A tear falls down on the picture frame. Luckily the tear rolls down the glass and doesn't ruin the picture. _Oh Troy..._

I sit down on the bed, next to the sleeping man I love. I carefully strike through his messy dark blonde hair. He doesn't move an inch, no, he continues sleeping.

God, these stupid, stupid men with their stupid, stupid love. Why can I just be with you, Troy? Why did you do that to me?

And out of the sudden, there is no holding me anymore. I burst into tears, letting a tear drop for every minute I didn't spend with him since I moved to London. For every mistake I made. He made. _We_ made.

An eternity later, I hear Lucas walking into the bedroom, but my eyes are only focused on Troy. How can he hurt me so badly - and I still love him? I would still do everything for him without thinking once. I would give him my company again. I'd make the same mistake twice. Just because I love him. I love too much...

"Here." Lucas says, handing me a box of tissues.

I smile and greatefully take a tissue to dry my eyes. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to burst into tears just like that... I was holding up just fine but..." I stop as new tears start forming in my eyes.

"I know..." Lucas says, pulling me into a hug. "I know."

I sob into his shirt, not caring if I wake Troy or not. Due to the hard liquor, he probably will have a huge hangover tomorrow - and sleep the night through.

"Lucas, why is this so hard?" I ask him after a minute or two.

Luc releases me from his embrace, "It's not hard. It's easy, Gabs." he says to me, smiling a little.

I shake my head, "I love him and he riped my heart apart."

"It riped his heart apart as well." Lucas says to me, removing my rolling tears with his thumbs. "Come, you need a cup of tea." he says, rising from the bed.

As I move to rise from the bed as well, Troy's arm around my waist stops me. Although he is unconcious, his instincts still tell him to not let go of me. I shake my head.

Perhaps Lucas is right. Maybe we do have some twisted connection. A connection which is very rare. A conncection we should hold on to.

He frowns at me, "Gabriella, you still want to me to drive you home?! Seriously?! I can't believe you-"

"I'll stay." I say softly to him. "I won't leave him. At least, for this night."

A smirk appears on Lucas' face, "I'll bring the tea to you then."

* * *

**A new chapter you guys!**

**A link to Troy's house is in my profile!**

**Hope you guys review!**

**Xoxo Nic**

**P.S.: The next chapter will be out soon!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10:**

Hours later, Lucas and I sit on the couch across the fireplace on the first floor, drinking one cup of tea after another. I can't seem to find any sleep - and he can't believe that I really am sitting here. In Troy's house. It feels all so surreal. It_ is_ surreal.

Months ago, I never would have guessed that I'd end up here. Never.

But now... Now I am here. And it feels good. Incredable good.

"So, how has he been?" I ask Luc, drinking a sip of my herbal tea. "After our separation... Did he..." I fail with words as goosebumps make it's way onto my skin.

"He was suffering as well, Gabs." he says, nodding. "While you were in London, he was... he was anything but himself." he starts, taking a breath. "He fell into that very dark hole..." he brushs through his sandy brown hair.

I frown. He seems fine. He doesn't seem to have fallen in that _very dark hole_. "What do you mean by that?"

Lucas bites his lip, as if he didn't know whether or not to tell me that. He sighs and I know that he gave in. "He started gambling again... And with the gambling came the alcohol. The really heavy stuff." he says, sighing. "And then he went to Washington for some reason. After that trip he changed again. He stoped with the alcohol... well except for this night obviously."

Gambling? Alcohol? That doesn't seem like the Troy I know.

It seems like the Troy who was with Katherine.

"Do you know if he made any debts?" I ask his brother slowly.

Lucas frowns at me, then a smirk appears on his face. Seconds later, he shakes his head, "No, he didn't make any debts, Gabriella. We're Bolton are wealthy. Very wealthy."

So wealthy that they can't make any debts?! That's impossible!... Or is it? "So you're unable to make any debts? That sounds..." impossible.

Lucas smiles at me, a very warm smile. "You have no idea how much money we earned, will inherit and earn in this very second, do you?"

I shake my head slowly. Obviously, I don't.

Lucas brushs through his sandy brown hair, "Our family owns billions. Many, _many _billions. The Bolton family is one of the richest family in the U.S., Australia und U.K. Some money our mother made, others our father... A big part is from our great-great-grandparents. But most of the money comes from us. Troy and me."

I gulp. Sounds like _a lot of money_ for me.

"Do you want to know how much I earn by this very minute?"

I shrugg. Troy would interest me more. But it would give me an idea anyway...

"I earn roughly 5.000€ a day. Some days more, others less."

My chin falls down. 5.000€?! That's over 6.600$! Per day!

"Troy earned more... I don't know how much he earns now. That scandal... it wasn't good for his image. For the image of his family. Of us."

I am still too shocked to say anything. How can someone earn this much?! _In a freaking day!_

"Gabriella, you need to breath." Lucas whispers towards me.

I frown at him, as my body relaxes. "H-How... That's a lot of money." I conclude rather late.

Lucas nodds, "It is indeed."

What is he doing with _so much money_?!

"Don't worry, we're giving a lot of it away. For charity. We support lots of companies which help poor people, people who are not able to live with our standarts."

_Not able to live with our standarts._ I am not able to live with their standarts! I mean, they're a whole new league! I mean, this is... oh boy. Suddenly, I feel sick. _Very sick_.

I feel like I am going to vomit.

"Are you okay?" Lucas asks me, frowning. I must've lost all the color in my face. "Is this because you feel frightened due to the money we have?" he jokes.

I shake my head slowly and take deep breaths to fight the urge to vomit. After a couple of breaths the urge is gone just as fast as it appeared. "I am okay."

"You sure?"

I nodd, "It's nothing." I smile at him.

"Okay..." he says, his voice still filled with worry.

"But the money thing really did surprise me, Luc." I say honestly. "I mean, I knew you were wealthy, but this... this is a whole new form of wealth, Luc."

"Do you feel intimidated?"

I shrugg, "No, not really. Should I?" I mean, they're both men after all. Money or not.

"No." Lucas says too quick. "I mean, it's just money."

I nodd. _Yeah, just money_... If only Victoria could hear that. She would start a discussion within a second. God, I am so happy that my relationship with her is more than just fucked up. I grin.

"Why are you grinning?"

I shake my head, "No reason. Continue with your story. Where were we?"

"Troy, right..." Lucas says, thinking for a second. "And the next thing I know, is him being in London. Him being at the concert. I have no idea why he is here. Why so soon. But my guess is: You. You are the reason for everything. For his roller coaster ride." he says with a shrugg.

I shake my head, "I don't think I am the reason."

Lucas takes a sip of his fruity tea. "You are. You're all that makes sense for him. He asked me how you felt when we talked. Every single time, Gabriella."

I frown. Did he really? "What did you tell him?"

His answer is filled with a shrugg, "That you feel okay. That you're holding up."

"Why didn't he come to London earlier?"

He shruggs again, "He said he needed to do something in Washington. He's pretty closed up, Gabs. You should know."

I nodd. I _do_ know how closed up he can be at times. But I thought that he would be open towards his brother.

"Listen, Gabs." he says, leaning forward. "If you're choosing to give you guys another try, which I think you are because you are sitting here, then give him some time. You guys need time to build the trust again. You both are broken. You both have been hurt."

I nodd. Time is what I will give him. What he needs. What I need. What we need.

* * *

_"Troy Bolton is dating Katherine Sanchez again! According to a close source, Katherine is getting divorced from her Spanish husband Sandro Sanchez. The reason? Simple: The mogul Troy Bolton himself. Bolton and Sanchez met at a Gala earlier this year again after nearly two years of complete separation. Their relationship lasted for seven years, until Sanchez gave him an ultimatum: Either marriage or she leaves._

_As Katherine got married to Sandro, Troy's decision became pretty clear._

_But now they're back together again. The couple has been spotted in Mango's, Bolton's favorite restaurant in Manhattan. Sanchez and Bolton were very intimate, chuckled, hugged and even kissed according to a waiter._

_The irony: Only five months ago he was at that restaurant with Gabriella Montez, his girlfriend at that time. Montez created a huge scandal with her label Manhattan records. Just a week before the bomb exploded, Montez flew to London, where she has been spotted with Bolton's brother, Lucas._

_Stay tuned for more celebrity news."_

I shake my head before I switch off the television in his living area. I am not in the mood to think about Bolton and Katherine. Bolton is enough to think about. I don't need Katherine on my mind as well.

I watch the eggs frying in the pan and yawn. Last night was not a pleasant night. It was anything but a good night. After my talk with Lucas, I was unable to find any sleep. I stared at the ceiling of the guestroom for the whole night. Maybe because Troy was sleeping only a few meters away from me. I couldn't even close my eyes. My head was filled with thoughts... Worry. Partly because I _knew_ that I was sleeping in Troy's house, who didn't even had an idea that I was in the same district as he was. Partly because of the things which Lucas had told me that night. Things, I didn't think he knew. Things, Troy doesn't think he knows.

But he does.

_Flashback_

"Don't break his heart again." he says to me after a minute of silence. His emeraled colored orbs shine in the soft lightning of the open fireplace in the living room.

"I didn't break his heart."

"You did. You did what Katherine was not able to."

"I... I don't understand." He loved Katherine. How was I-

"When he and Katherine separated it was like... it was a whole new start. For both of them. And then he met you." he says and smiles a little, as if he was travelling back in time. "You didn't..." he brushs through his sandy brown hair, searching for words. After a few seconds he takes a deep breath. "You gave him a second life. You changed him. You changed him into the best version of himself. With you he... he was reborn."

_With you he was reborn_. My heart clenchs at that thought. _Oh god, I'm going to cry again if he continues! _"Lucas, stop..." I beg him. I can't listen to this. It hurts too much.

"I'm serious, Gabriella." he says, his bright green eyes reflection nothing but honesty. "He is my brother. He has _always_ protected me. Always." he makes a short pause. "Now it's my time to protect him. If you don't want this, then... then let him go. For good."

Maybe I should. But I can't.

"Look, he doesn't know it, but... I know what happened when we were three years old."

I shiver. Lucas _knows_?! He couldn't. I mean, Troy told me that Lucas was fast asleep when his mother tried to kill him... Maybe he saw it after all. "H-how?" I ask him in a shaky voice.

Lucas frowns at me, "He told you?"

I shrugg, "Yes."

The green-eyed man leans back in his armchair, "Well, I woke up when our parents started quarreling. As soon as I saw Troy's red neck, I counted one and one together."

I'm impressed. I thought Troy was the smart brother. Guess they both are.

"That's why I am begging you, don't hurt him another time."

"I won't be able to hurt him anymore, Lucas. He is over me."

"Did that sound like he is over you tonight? Did the mumbling sound like he is done with you?" he asks me, tilting his head to the side.

I open my mouth to response, but instead my stomach turns around.

_End of Flashback_

The memory of last night is still in my head as I pull the eggs on a plate. Together with some bacon and yoghurt with berries it looks good. I smile, but frown as the smell starts making it's way into my nose. That doesn't smell so good, I conclude and seconds later I feel my stomach turning around once more.

* * *

As I wash my face, I look at my reflection in the mirror. Seriously, what the hell is going on with me?! I must've eaten something wrong or I'm getting sick or something.

I jump up as I hear a knock on the locked bathroom door.

"Gabs, are you okay?" I hear Lucas asking.

I nodd at my reflection. My pale face stares back at me. I am okay. I am fine.

I unlock the bathroom door and force my lips to form a smile, "Everything's fine, Lucas."

He nodds, although his facial features seem skeptical. "Well, Troy's not awake yet..." he says as I walk out of the bathroom, "So, this is your last chance to run away."

_My last chance to run away._ I really do feel the urge to run away. Away from him. Maybe forever.

"Will you stay or go?"

I take a deep breath to respond, but it gets stuck in my lungs as my eyes catch an awfully familiar image right behind Lucas.

And just like that, he has made the decision for me.

* * *

**A new chapter! What do you think?**

**Please, please, pleaseeeee review!**

**Xoxo Nic**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11:**

Every single muscle clenches in my body. Every single nerve freezes. Within a second my body stiffens completely for an eternity as my eyes lock with crystal blue orbs. I get lost in them like always... like I've never seen such an intense eyecolor. His eyes are an ocean filled with shock. Pure shock is visible in his eyes - above it is a dosis of fear. What is he afraid of?

Nobody moves in the room. Nobody dares to say something. Nobody breaths - or so it seems.

Time has stopped.

As always when I am with him.

My body turns to ice. My feelings shut off. I feel nothing, looking at him. I wonder if he feels the same. Probably not, since he's not as icy cold as me.

I can't take my eyes off of his. He has locked me in his ocean. An ocean which slowly gets filled with emotions, I can tell as I see the orbs changing color very slowly.

He is the first to move. I am still frozen, glued to the ground, made out of stone... unable to move. As he starts to walk down the free marble staircase, my eyes slowly get used to him as they travel down his body. He doesn't look like he has a hangover. He's wearing a plain white shirt with a v cut and dark grey pajamas. His dark blonde hair, the haircolor he shares with his twinbrother, is messy. His figure hasn't lost any of it's sexiness - he is still all toned up and gorgeous. The way his body moves hasn't changed either, I can tell as I watch him taking long glorious steps towards me.

He stops straight in front of me, his body only centimeters away from mine. Suddenly, I can feel _my_ pounding heart in my chest - or is it his? Guess my body is slowly heating up from it's time in the artic.

We still say nothing. Instead, we just stare at each other, not believing what we see. _Who_ we see. We get drunk in each other's eyes... in each other's presence.

For seconds... For minutes... For an eternity.

Everything around us disappears... his kitchen... his livingroom... his house... Lucas. Everything disappears for me but him. My universe stops turning. My inner balance is finally poised. Suddenly, everything makes sense again, although nothing should.

And while I am slowly getting the control of my body back, he opens his mouth to say something. But just like I would, he fails with words. He's too overwhelmed with the situation. Just like me.

So, we continue staring at each other, enjoying each other's silent company. As long as no words were exchanged, we can still enjoy this. This reunion.

We both wear our pokerfaces, afraid to give any sight of positve emotion away. We're broken. Now we're healed.

Yet, we're not happy.

"What are you doing here?" he asks me in a whisper.

I close my eyes for a second. _God, his amazing voice_! It's like balm for my broken half-soul. As I open my eyes again, I stare into his turqouise colored orbs. "I don't know." I answer in the same whisper, having really no clue why I stayed. An objective third person would call me nuts for staying at my ex-boyfriend's house for the night, who broke my heart, stole away my company and misused my trust.

But love isn't objective. Neither is it logical.

It's love.

It's what brought me here.

"I thought about running." I answer truthfully. That's all I've been thinking about since I took a step into this house. But I stayed. _Something_ made me stay.

"Yet, you're still here." he says to me, in his voice is ringing a tiny dosis of joy. _Now I know why I stayed._

"Yes." I say back, my voice as confidently as possible.

He says nothing back. He just stares at me. His crystal blue eyes start scanning my face. Slowly, as if he needed to memorize every single milimeter of it. Is he searching for something? If so, has he found it already?

I unwillingly frown. I have no idea what this man is up to. I never had an idea, I realize, looking back now. "How's your head?" I ask him, remembering why he got here last night. Why I got here. Why we are here now.

Now, it's his turn to frown, his muscles create a little V just above his nose, in the little gap between his eyebrows. Even frowning, he takes my breath away. "All fine. Is that why you're here?"

Because of your health? I shrugg. "I made you breakfast." I don't know why we're talking about food right now. It's stupid.

He looks over my shoulder, seeing the plate which is filled with eggs, berries and other food I can't remember right now. _He's so close_.

"It looks good." he says, showing me a very tiny smile.

I am not able to smile back, although my body melts at this smile. "You were pretty fucked up last night."

His chin-area tightens and I know that he's clenching his teeth. Did I say something wrong?

Suddenly I feel like I am walking on a mine field on which not a single one is visible. One step too far and I burst into a thousand little pieces. Painfull pieces.

"Was I?" he asks me back. "I don't remember feeling fucked up yesterday."

How do I know what you were feeling last night?! "You looked bad." I mumble. He did not look bad... He looked perfect. As always.

He raises an eyebrow, "Bad, you say?"

I nodd. I didn't want to use the word miserable. Although that would fit better surely. I would like to touch him. Touch his hand. Brush through his hair. Kiss his lips.

"So, you brought me home?" his question rips me out of my thoughts.

"I helped Lucas." I explain with a shrugg.

Somehow, this gesture doesn't mean enough for him. "Why did you stay overnight then?" he asks me the one question I kept asking myself for the whole night. He raised an eyebrow at me, as if he wanted to provoke me. As if the answer, no matter what it's going to be, would never be enough for him.

I frown at him, feeling my heated body starting to boil. Uncontrollably, feelings start coming to the surface, which I've buried months ago. "What the hell do you want from me, Troy, huh?!" I yell at him, suddenly exploding in front of him."I mean you... And I..." I shake my head, "You know what?! You're right. I should go!" I yell at him.

He remains silent. Does he want me to go?

"I stayed and I am here. So, what is your fucking problem?!" I ask him, now being really angry at him. "Could you fucking say something?! Why are you staring at me like I am some fucking dream, huh?!"

"Because maybe you are." he whispers back, so quietly that I nearly overhear him. But I don't. I'm pretty sure I didn't.

I frown at him. He thinks, he's dreaming? I take a step towards him, closing the gap he has builed between us. "I am here." I reasure him, in a soft voice. My anger has vanished, making place for pain. "I am here although you've hurt me the worst way possible. You broke my heart, you misused my trust, you tore me apart and you stole away everything I have worked for my whole life in a second. You didn't just made me walk through hell, no, you made me _live_ in that hell. For days. For weeks. For months." I say into his eyes, feeling a tear building in my eyes. "And on top of that, you..." I shrugg as I feel the tear rolling down my cheek. "You let me go." Saying this out loud makes me realize, that I really did want that. I wanted him to follow me. I wanted him to make me want to stay. I wanted him to... To not let me go in the first place. But he didn't. He let me go.

His features stiffen as if he was made out of stone. He doesn't respond. He says nothing. He does nothing. He just stares at me.

Me, unraveled and all his. Even in the worst time.

After minutes, silence has coated us in an uncomfortable atmosphere, which is trying to choke us. I shake my head, knowing that there will not come another word out of his mouth. _Fucking coward._

I shake my head once more before I turn on my heel and head towards the door. He doesn't want to talk? Fine by me. But then he should fucking leave me alone.

For good.

But not forever.

As I reach the front door, I turn around. "Happy 24th Birthday by the way." I say to him before I open the door and step out.

Out of his life. Out of our life. Out of our past. Our presence. Our future.

I walk out on the street and gladly spot the black Porsche Cayenne with Lucas in it. Did he wait here all the time?

I don't hesitate to open the door and climb in.

Lucas looks at me, his emerald colored orbs burning it's way under my skin. "And?"

"I ended it. For good." I say to him, "Would you please drive me home? You can pick up Miley on your way back to Troy's place - if you guys really will spend your birthday together this time."

Lucas frowns at me, "Is he mad?"

I shrugg, "How should I know? I would know if he talked to me. But he didn't. So, let's just say I have no idea how he is feeling - as always, I remark." I say coldly, as Lucas starts the car and drives off.

"So, it's over?" He asks me after a few minutes in silence.

I nodd, "This time for real. I want nothing to do with him. Now and ever."

* * *

**A new chapter! Hope you enjoyed this one. What do you think of Troy's reaction? Do you guys want them to meet again? Do you think everything has been said?**

**You know, I love your reviews.**

**Xoxo Nic**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12:**

The alarm rings, filling the kitchen with an uncomfortable sound. _They're ready._

I smile as I open the oven before I get out the muffins which were baking in it. The smell is just mouthwatering!

The white kitchen with it's black marble working plates is overloaded with pastries: Muffins, Pies, Cakes, Brownies, cupcakes... I even tried some international pastries like baklava and éclairs.

All these different pastries fill the kitchen in a wonderfull smell. I smile and mentally tap my shoulder, yeah it really does look all good.

I look at the watch in the kitchen, it's seven in the morning. I really did a lot this night...

"Woah, Gabi!" I hear Ryan's voice and turn around to face him. His bright blue eyes are filled with wonder. "What is all this?"

"I baked... Pastries." I say with a smile on my lips.

His eyes slowly wander over the different pastries. "I... I can see that."

"Help yourself!"

Ryan frowns at me, before he gets one of the freshly baked muffins with blueberries this time. I made some with chocolate, with raspberries, raisins and cranberries as well.

"Try it." I encourage him. Maybe they're bad. I haven't tried one yet, because I was so busy with making more.

Ryan bites into the muffin and I feel the anxiety vanishing as I see his relaxed face. They're good.

"Are they okay?" I ask him, still a little unsure.

"Okay? This muffin is heaven on earth, Gabriella!" he says, really impressed by my baking abilities. I hardly knew I had them to be honest.

"Good." I am pleased with my work. "Coffee?"

Ryan nodds and I get out a cup before I pour hot coffee in it. "But why did you bake? You never baked, Gabs. I didn't even know you could bake so well, Gabriella!"

I flush. "Thanks."

"But you... I mean, why so much?" he says a little shocked by the amount I baked.

I shrugg, "I just baked."

"And this has nothing to do with you oversleeping at Troy's last night?"

I bite my lip.

Ryan shakes his head, "You know, usually people bake this much when there's a funeral..."

I shrugg.

"Are you buring him or something?"

I shrugg, "I don't know. I don't care about him. I am done with him."

Ryan raises an eyebrow at me, "Done with him, you say?"

I nodd, "Yes. I am done with him. Totally."

"A little... rushed don't you think?"

Rushed?! _Rushed?! _ No, it is not rushed. Not after the last two months, which I spent somewhere between getting over him and being still his. Now, at least I know where I am. I am over him. Absolutely over him. So over him that I can bake pastries! And very good pastries!

I ignore his statement, "You know, Lucas was right. I had to see Troy one last time to really say goodbye to him. It was, of course and as always, not the goodbye I wanted, but... it was a goodbye after all."

Ryan nodds, taking a sip of his coffee. "And what are you going to do now? Now, that you're... free of him, I may say."

"I'm glad that you ask." I say smiling, before I get a cup of tea from the counter. I take a sip of it. Damn it, it's already cold. "I'm flying over to Spain."

"S-Spain?" Ryan asks me shocked. "Is this some new kind of form of fleeing?"

I shake my head, "I need a break. From work. From London... It'll only be a couple of days."

"Just you?"

"Just me and the vineyards in Spain. I booked myself a room in a spa. For three days. I need to relax. I mean, Lucas is right, I can't continue working the nights through."

"Sounds actually pretty healthy and so not like you."

I frown back at him, "Why? Because I am actually _not fleeing_ this time?"

"Pretty much, yeah."

"Well, I'm not." I say and brush through my dark brown locks. "And I have to get ready for work now."

"Speaking of work, I'm going to fly over to Cannes tomorrow."

"Perfect, I'll be flying to Spain the day after. So, we see each other before I leave then."

"It's for a photoshoot, so I won't be long. Who knows, maybe I'll be back the same night."

I nodd, "Thanks for informing me." I say smiling. "I'm going to get a shower now. Eat more muffins. Or try the apple pie!" I yell before I walk into my bedroom.

On my way to the bathroom, I strip out of my clothes. As the hot water splashes against my skin, I feel my body relax for the first time since yesterday. All the tension in my muscles seem to disappear as I wash my body with bodywash. Suddenly, I feel dizzy and I grab the faucet in order to not fall in the slippery shower.

I should have eaten at least a muffin. I haven't eaten the whole night in which I've baked the pastries. A couple of moments later the dizziness has disappeared and I continue with my shower.

* * *

"Good morning, everyone!" I say grinning as I walk into the studio.

"Wow, you're in a good mood. Why's that?" Jules, our secretary, asks me.

I place a box filled with muffins and cake slices on her desk, "I baked this morning."

"Does baking make you always feel so happy?" Jules asks as she opens the box. "Muffins! You baked muffins!"

I return her foolish grin. "According to Ryan they're actually pretty good. So, you should eat them before the others get their hands on it."

The blonde smiles at me, "Kelsi wants to see you, by the way."

I nodd, "Is she free?"

Jules checks Kelsi's scheduele on her iMac and scans her appointments for the day, "Yep. You can storm in."

"But I'm taking a muffin with me." I say, taking a muffin out of the box before I make my way to Kelsi's office.

On my way, I notice that my staff is mumbling and staring at me. Is it because of my good mood? I shrugg, I don't care.

Two knocks later against the door, I step in. "You wanted to talk to me?"

My brunette best friend grins at me before she waves me in. She's on the phone, as I notice as I close the door of her office. I sit down across her and wait until she hangs up.

"And?"

"Two things: I'll be flying over to Sweden tomorrow." she says grinning.

"Business or pleasure?"

"_Oh..._ a little bit of both, perhaps." her bright blue eyes are sparkling. "I'll be gone for a few days. Will you be able to run this place without me?"

I shake my head, "I'm leaving for Spain the day after tomorrow myself, remember?"

"Oh... right. Damn it."

"Ask Kevin to do this."

"I will... I will." she says, frowning out of the sudden.

"He won't ruin our image in those few days, Kels."

She looks at me, "This is our baby. I'll kill him if he does anything bad to it."

I grin, she loves our studio as well. "So, what is the second thing?"

"Oh right! The second thing is..." she searchs for a sheet of paper on her desk, "Wait a minute..." she pulls it out of a folder, "This!" she says, grinning, holding the paper in front of my eyes.

I chin falls down. "Black numbers?!" I ask her shocked.

"Yes! We're writting black numbers!" Kelsi nearly screams at me before she pulls me into a hugg.

"Oh my God! We're writting black numbers!" I say, totally shocked.

_Wow_... "Black numbers..." I whisper. No more debts. "That was fast."

The brunette grins, "Actually, it was really fast. I mean, we're here for only two months and already one of the top studios in Europe! That's _all_ because of you, Gabriella."

I shake my head, "It's our both work. We worked non-stop for the last two months. We need a break."

"Which I'll have in Sweden."

"And me in Spain."

"Speaking of Spain, does this have anything to do with you and Troy?"

I shake my head, "This is not about Troy. Or about anyone else. This is about me. I am doing to for me." Probably the first time I'm doing something for just me. "Listen, I'm going to have my lunchbreak with Lucas today, you want to come with?"

My brunette best friend shakes her head, making her brown locks bounce, "No. You go." she says smiling.

* * *

On our way to a little restaurant on my lunchbreak my cellphone rings. I frown at the display as I see the unknown number. I take a deep breath before I pick up.

"Hello?"

"You could have informed me that you've been living in London lately." I hear the icy cold voice of my moth- Victoria on the other line.

"And what reason would I have to inform you?" I ask her back.

"I am your mother for Christ's Sake, Gabriella!"

"You stopped being my mother eleven years ago." I hiss back at her. Really, why is she calling me?!

"A certain Mr. Bolton called me this week." she says, giving me a reason to not hang up.

My heart aches in my chest. Suddenly, I am unable to say anything. My breath is taken away. Just by hearing his last name coming out of another mouth. Damn it, and just like that my happy mood is ruined.

"He wanted to have dinner with me." she says after a short pause. She waits for a response from me, but I am still too shocked. "We met late last week..."

I frown. He was in New York? What was he doing in New York?! And what the fuck was he doing with Victoria?!

Lucas stares at me. He is worried. "Who is it?"

"My... Nevermind." I mouth over to him before we walk into the restaurant.

"Don't you want to know what we talked about?" she asks me on the other line.

"O-of course I do." I say in one breath.

"We talked about you." she says briefly, "About your future." As I say nothing, she continues. "Gabriella, this man has no financial problems. I don't understand why you left him and created this scandal, which nearly ruined my image as well."

Is she serious?!

"He wants you back." she says in one breath. "He told me he loved you."

"I don't understand why he chose to go to you." I say and frown.

"You will." she says shortly. "In the future... you will understand." she says before she hangs up.

I frown at the display. What an odd phonecall. From Victoria. Who never calls me. Never.

"What did she want?" he asks me worried.

"I have no idea." I say, biting my lip. "Did you know that Troy was in New York?"

Lucas shakes his head, "No, he didn't tell me that he flew to the States. Why?"

I shrugg, "But he met my... Victoria. For dinner."

"Who's Victoria?"

"My... She..." I shake my head, "She's the one who gave birth to me."

"So, she's your mom."

"No."

"But you just-"

"It's complicated."

"Nothing is ever easy with you, is it?" he says smirking.

I shake my head, unable to not reflect his smile, "God, I really do need a vacation right now..."

"Spain will be good for your mental health. You need to get away from all this drama... I'd like you to be with Troy, though."

I shake my head, "I told you it's over, Lucas. We've separated. Once and for all."

"You seem... happy about it." he says, looking worried.

I shrugg, "I'm not exactly happy about it but I... I feel reliefed. I feel... free. I think you were right. We needed to say goodbye to each other."

"I was hoping for a "see you soon" rather than a goodbye."

"You can't always get what you want."

I should know.

* * *

**A new chapter :) What do you guys think of Gabi's baking and her trip to Spain?**

**Please review!**

**Xoxo Nic**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13:**

One day later:

I let the tears stream down my face. I can't stop crying... ever since I know.

I wipe away the tears, feeling a headache making it's way into my head. Damn it.

How could I be so stupid? How could this happen? Why the fuck weren't we-

"Gabriella!" I hear Ryan yelling from the corridor. "After two weeks of suffering, I think you should start dating! I met some _really_ cute and hot guys in France! And guess what? I've got their numbers. One for you and one for-" his voice abruptly stops as his body stops in the doorframe, seeing me. Sitting on the floor in the bathroom. "... For me." he finishes his sentence, his eye wide with horror.

I look up, my eyes staring into his shocked one. He looks good. Taned from the photoshoot in France. Europe is good for him. For his career.

It's appearantly not so good for me.

"What is... What is wrong? What happened?" he asks me slowly, his eyes scanning the room. "What is all this?" he asks me, his hands waving around himself.

I sigh, before I get up from the floor. I can't stop crying. I can't stop sobbing. I don't know what to do. How to react. How to feel... how to deal with this.

His eyes move beside my body and onto the floor, "Are those... Are those pregnancy tests?" he asks me.

I nodd slowly. It must be about one hundret tests. I tested too many. I thought they were wrong... Well, at least I thought that the first three were wrong... but they're not. I mean, it's impossible.

My bathroom is overwhelmed with pregnancy tests and their packages. I just ripped the packaging open and threw it on the floor. Every single time.

"What happened to your hand?" he asks me, his eyes rested on my bloody right hand.

I shrugg and nodd behind him, towards the mirror.

He turns around and looks at the shattered mirror. I shattered it into a thousand little pieces with my fist. It was right after the third test. The third test which made me _so angry_, so furious that I... I had to let it out. Out on the mirror.

Drops of blood path the way to the bathtube, which I was leaning against when I sat on the floor. But I feel no pain. No pain at all.

Instead I feel horror. Fear. I've never been so scared in my life. Not even when my father hit me the first time... This is a whole new form of horror.

I don't even know how long I have been sitting there... Time passed by without me noticing it. I can't stop thinking it all over. Making options. Searching for possibilities. Searching for solutions.

"You need to go to a hospital to stitch it up." Ryan's voice ripps me out of my thoughts once more.

I shake my head, "The cuts are not deep. Just on the surface. They'll be gone in a few days..."

"How many of these did you do?" He asks me slowly, his eyes dancing around the room. The bathroom looks like a bomb exploded in it... A bomb filled with pregnancy tests and tissues.

I shrugg.

"Did you rob a drugstore?!" His eyes are shocked.

I shrugg again, "I thought that the first test was wrong, so I..."

"You bought a hundret more. How many of these were negative?"

He brushs through his blonde hair as he turns around, "Gabriella, are you... I mean, does this all mean that you..." he freezes as the tears start rolling down my cheeks again. Within seconds, I feel his arms around my body, trying to calm me down.

If only it were that easy.

_Flashback: A couple of hours earlier:_

I unlock the door of our brickstone townhouse in London and throw my purse on the floor before I get out of my shoes.

Voices are coming out of our living room. Laughter paired with giggle. But I can't tell whom the voices belong to. I can't even tell if they're female or male voices.

My head is killing me as I walk into the kitchen and get out a cold bottle of water from the fridge. I don't know what's going on with me. I've been sick the whole week. From fever to headaches - I've had it all.

"Good evening, " I hear my best friend's voice saying before I turn around.

"How long have you been here?" I ask Miley.

"Ryan left an hour ago to fly over to Cannes. For a photoshoot... Kelsi and me decided to wait for you to ask you if you want to go clubing but... According to your face, you don't feel so well."

I frown. So, I do look as bad as I feel... Even make-up can't hide that. Stupid make-up industry. See? It _can not_ hide undereye circles and a red nose. Impossible. "That bad, huh?"

She nodds, "You're all pale. Do you need anything? Kelsi and I are good nurses, you know."

I chuckle, "No, I'm fine..."

"You sure?"

I nodd, "I've been holding up the whole week... I have my trip to Spain to get some rest."

Miley frowns, "You won't work this weekend through?"

I return her frown. Am I such a workaholic? Guess so. I shake my head, "No, I'm going to get some rest. In a spa."

Kelsi walks into the kitchen but stops in the doorframe. "Gabi, you look horrible."

I let out a laugh, "You, too? Look I-"

"Go to bed and we'll make you some tea." Kelsi interrupts me.

"And some chickensoup." Miley adds smiling.

"But I-"

"No buts! Bed. NOW." Kelsi demands, shaking her head, "If I knew that you were so sick, I wouldn't have let you work today."

I frown, "I am fine. It's been coming and going. That's all. I'll be feeling fine in a few hours. Nothing to worry."

Kelsi and Miley both frown at me, before their eyes widen sychronically. It so weird to see that they're thinking the same. We really are one family.

"What?" I ask them both confused.

"You don't need chickensoup." Kelsi says slowly.

"And tea." Miley adds, her voice shaking.

I frown at them, "Look, I am fine, you guys..."

Miley shakes head, "No, you're not fine."

"Wha-" my voice freezes as my brain processes the message. No... I mean, I... "No." I say to them, my eyes filling with tears immediately. Seconds later, I feel my body getting pressed into a hugg. No... I mean, that... I can't... NO! "NO!" I nearly yell, pushing them away.

"Gabriella-"

"No. I can't... This is..."

"Gabi, when was your last period?" Kelsi asks me slowly.

The tears stream down my face, just like the rain which splashs against the window in my kitchen. I shake my head. It's impossible. I can't be... I mean, we were... NO!

I bury my face in my hands, sobbing all the way. I feel Miley hugging me, whispering something to me. But I don't understand it. My mind keeps wandering back to the terrible possibility. I shiver. I can't...

I look up, seeing Kelsi leaving the kitchen. "Where's she going?" I ask her.

"She's going to buy a test, honey. You need to know." Miley says softly to me as if I was a child.

_A child_. I can't be expecting one. NO! It's impossible. "But I was safe. Always have been." I say in a shaky voice.

Miley nodds, "Just to make sure, Gabi..."

And then it hits me. There was one time I wasn't safe. One night.

"When was your last period, Gabs?" she asks me slowly.

I frown as I'm trying to remember... A horrible feeling starts making it's way through my body as I can't remember it. Then relief hits me as I remember. "Three weeks ago. I had my period three weeks ago." Yes. Three weeks ago! Thank Lord for that! I had my period three weeks ago. I am not pregnant. NOT PREGNANT YOU HEAR ME?!

"Was it really your period or just a little bleeding?" she asks me worried.

I frown at her. What does she mean by that?

"Did it last over a day, Gabriella?"

I shake my head before I burst into tears again. Oh god, no! Please no!

Miley pulls me into a hugg once more. "When was you real last period?"

"In the States..." I whisper.

_End of Flashback_

"Not a single one was negative." I say and frown.

"How far are you?"

"Nineth week." I whisper. "If I had to guess."

"You didn't see your gynecologist yet?"

I gaze at him, "I just found out that I am pregnant, Ryan."

"Who is the father then?"

I gulp.

"Could it be Lucas' child?"

I shake my head, "I was always safe with Lucas. Not once we didn't..."

"And with Troy?"

"Troy..." I whisper, feeling my heart breaking once more. Knowing that he lives just fifteen minutes away from me doesn't make it easier to be separate... Yet, we're together. At least, for now. We're bonded. Bonded due to a child who is growing inside of me. _Our_ child. I shiver.

"What are you going to do about it now?" he asks me slowly.

I shrugg, "I don't know."

"What about abortion?"

I shrugg. It's an option. An option I should consider.

"You're _really_ thinking about abortion?!"

"What other choice do I have, huh?!" I yell at him, before I burst into tears again. I wipe them off, angryly. "I don't know what to fucking do!"

He nodds, "Do you want to keep it?"

I shrugg, "I don't know."

"Adoption?"

I shrugg, "Maybe. I mean, I am not capable of being a mother... Not the kind of mother this child would need."

Ryan obviously ignores my answer. I know him, he's already picking out furniture and clothes for this child. He's already in uncle-seventh-heaven, while I am still stuck in hell.

"Who knows about this?"

"Kelsi... Miley... You."

"Lucas doesn't?"

I shake my head, "No. I haven't been able to talk to him yet..."

"Do you think Miley will tell him?"

I shake my head once more, "No. She'll keep her mouth shut. She knows that I have no idea what I should do... Let alone, she doesn't know that Lucas and me have been sleeping with each other nearly two months ago..."

"He didn't plan to fall in love with your best friend."

"I don't blame him. We both knew that this would not end up in a relationship. He used sex to get me over Troy. And it helped me... at least, a little bit."

"And now he's with Miley."

"He's happy. She's happy. I am happy. There's no need to destroy their happiness. She doesn't have to know."

"But he has to know that he's becoming an uncle..."

I nodd, "I know."

"Gabi..." he starts.

I shake my head, "No."

"But you-"

"I will not."

"But-"

I sigh, "He stole my heart, tore it apart and let me flee to London, leaving me totally trainwracked. I can't tell him that he is... I can't tell him that he's becoming the father of... Of a broken relationship." I explain to him, feeling tears streaming down my face again.

"But he literally just lives fifteen minutes away from here."

"That doesn't change anything, Ryan. We're separated. Just because I am expecting his child, he... That doesn't mean anything." I say as I storm out of the bathroom. I have no time to overthink this right now. I have a plane to catch.

"No, it means everything." I stop as his voice reflects nothing but the truth.

I turn around, "I have to go."

Ryan frowns at me, "You're not seriously thinking of flying to Spain right now, are you?"

I nodd, "I booked this trip to relax. Now, I need as much time to relax as I can get, under these circumstances." I say as I stop in the hallway, standing next to my suitcase.

"Gabriella, you're fleeing again."

"I am not."

"You are. But this is not something you can flee from. This is your child. Your _baby_."

"Stop it, Ryan." I don't want to hear him talking about the accident.

"No, I won't stop it for Christ's sake! You're pregnant, Gabriella. That means you're carrying a child. My niece or newphew! And it's Troy's child as well. So, he deserves to get informed. By you, I remark."

I shake my head, "I have to go."

"Gabriella!" he calls after me, but I am already out of the door. "You can't run away from your very own flesh and blood!"

* * *

**Uh-ho, what do you guys think of Gabriella's pregnancy? Is she really running... again?**

**Please review!**

**Xoxo Nic**


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14:**

I take one last breath, enjoying the beautifull view which I have from my balcony in this hotel. The last three days were amazing.

This view over the vineyards in the middle of nowhere here in Spain is just amazing. This is by far the most peacefull place I have ever been... well, almost the most peacefull place. Even now, finally separated from him, I still can't help but see him _everywhere._ Think of him all the time!

Goosebumps start making it's way onto my skin as a chilly squall touchs my skin. It's early in the morning. The vineyards are befoged, yet the sun is slowly rising. An amazing picture.

I'm missing out my yoga session today. I have been doing yoga, pilates and running the last three days. I think, I'm going to add yoga and pilates to my usually routine when I am back in London. Perhaps I'm going to subsitude kickboxing with yoga and pilates. I might even have to.

I never want to leave this place.

This peacefull place with absolutely no worries. No complicated relationships.

No pregnancy.

As if on call, my stomach turns around and I throw up into the marble toilett in the bathroom. Every morning, just as the sun rises, I have to throw up. That's probably the real reason why I am already so awake. I am waiting for my wake-up call. A wake-up call from my baby. Troy's baby. Our baby.

I shiver. It felt so good to not think of him - if only for the twenty-four hours before I found out that I was pregnant.

But today I am going back. Back to reality. Back to my life.

I wash my face and look at myself in the mirror. Although I am all morning sickness, I don't look bad. My cheeks have a rosy color. My eyes aren't as lifeless as they were only days ago. This spa-trip has really paid off. It was worth every single penny.

My hands are manicured. My toes are pedicured. My hair is a little shorter than when I landed - the hairdresser here is really good. All in all, I look relaxed.

But most of all, I _feel_ relaxed.

I feel ready.

A knock on the front door interrupts my thoughts. "Come in!" I say in a loud voice before I smile at my reflection.

"Miss Montez, the taxi is here to bring you to the airport." says one of the hotel staff.

I smile at him, "Thank you."

* * *

It's raining cats and dogs as the black cab stops in front of my townhouse in Covent Garden, London. I almost forgot how horrible the weather can be in London. But somehow it seems to fit my mood just fine. Ever since I am no longer in Spain, my mood has rapidly changed, worsen actually.

I pay the driver and climb out of the car before I get out my luggage. So much to my new haircut - no one will notice it now. With wet hair, I drag the suitcase behind me over to the front door. Ryan left me message on my phone, telling me that he's in Paris for today and tomorrow and that he's sorry to not be there when I come back. I don't blame him. His career is really taking off. I'm happy for him.

I stop as I feel a chill going down my spine. Damn it, I'm probably going to get sick or something. Not good. Not good for me. For the baby.

_The baby_. I still have to inform Lucas... or Troy. I haven't decided whom to tell first. On the one hand, it should be Troy, because he's the father but... On the other hand it should be Lucas, because he is the uncle and I have a way better relationship with him than with his brother. Plus, it's less complicated.

I put the key into the keyhole and feel another chill going down my spine. Oh this is _so not good_. I shiver once more before I turn the key around and unlock the door.

"Gabriella," I hear a voice saying. A voice which is familiar. Way too familiar.

I turn around, hoping the voice was just an illusion. This illusion would explain the shivers though. It wasn't, I quickly conclude as I see him standing across me, him just as wet as me from the rain.

His crystal blue eyes shine in the grey, rainy surroundings. He's wearing a black coat and a grey scarf. The scarf emphasizes his crystal blue eyecolor even more. He looks amazing. Wet, but amazing.

And breathtaking. He has taken my breath away already. With just one simple word.

My name. He says it as if it meant the world to him.

But it doesn't.

I know it. And so does he.

I'm too amazed to say anything. Shocked, rather. I didn't expect him to be here. Not after what happened a week ago. I thought that this is it. That we're over.

Oh, who am I kidding?! I am carrying his fucking child right now! There is _no way_ we're going to be over. If only...

I kept it.

But I'm not sure I will. I still haven't made my mind about it. I'm still sounsure.

"Can I come in?" he asks me as my hand pushs the front door open.

I shake my head, "I'd rather you not." I say in the most polite way. His smell is driving me crazy. But in a good way. If we end up under one roof, then... then there is no holding back anymore. I don't know what I'd do. What I wouldn't do rather.

He nodds, a little surprised by my answer. "We should talk through. I called you."

"I left my Blackberry in London while I was away."

"You caught some sun. Where were you?"

"Spain." I say. I really did catch a little sun, although I was in the vineyards and in the shadow most of the time.

"You must feel pretty jetlagged." he says, eyeballing me. _Gosh, those eyes..._ I feel my mouth going dry.

I shake my head, "No, I do not feel jetlagged. I feel fine. And no, we should not talk, Troy. There _is_ nothing we should talk about." I lie into his face. When the time is right, I will tell him. But not now. Not when I am in the middle of my recovering process. I'm in the middle of the road which leads me back to my old self. The self without him.

"I think you deserve some answers from me though."

"I have no questions you could answer me." I lie to him.

"You've never been a good liar, Ella."

"Don't Ella me." I hiss back. "Go back to where you come from and leave me alone!"

He shakes his head, "I can't."

I frown at him. Are we really having this conversation on the street right now?! Who is listening to us? Or rather who is not? "Why?" I ask him.

"Because I can't live without you." he whispers, but I can hear every single word as clear as ever.

"You lived without my these past eight weeks, you can live without me the rest of your life as well."

"Ten." he corrects me.

"What?"

"Ten weeks. Not eight."

He's counted them? "You..."

"I remember the day you left me like it was yesterday. I will never forget this feeling. Never in my life have I felt so much pain. So, it wasn't eight weeks. It's ten. Ten weeks ago you left me."

Ten. Then I must probably be in my tenth week... Oh boy, I grab the doorknob as I feel dizzy. Everything starts spinning around me for a moment. I close my eyes and take deep breaths. No, no dizziness. Not now. Not here.

My legs are a little shaky, but instead of falling down, his strong arms hold me up.

"Are you okay?" he asks me, sounding worried.

I open my eyes and stand up straight, "All fine. Now, would you please excuse me, I have to unpack."

"Gabriella, are you really fine?"

"Yes." I lie to him before I walk over the threshold.

"Has this happened before?"

I frown at him. This is the first time I meet him outside my house.

"This isn't a good sign, Gabriella." Troy's voice is serious and worried. Oh, he meant the dizzines... Right, no that did not happen before. Or did it? I don't know. "You need someone to look after you. When's Ryan coming back?"

Who told him that Ryan's away?! "I need no one to look after me. I am fine, Troy."

"No, you're not." he says, suddenly walking in behind me.

What the hell?! "Troy, I am doing fine. I just need some rest, that's all." What the hell is he doing?! Why the hell did he walk into my house? I didn't invite him in!

How rude!

"Look, I am a big girl, I just-" everything starts spinning again. Woah, this isn't good. Just as my legs want to lose the steady ground again, he holds me in his arm again. But I refuse myself to enjoy this feeling; him holding me.

"Okay, you need some rest and a cup of tea." he says in a whisper to me.

I release myself from him, "I don't need anything - and certainly not you. I am fine without you. I _have been fine_ without you. I don't need you. So, why the heck are you here?"

"Because I need you. More than you know." he says to me, his crystal blue eyes burning their way into mine. _Fuck_, that's an intense look. A glance, I've never seen before in his eyes. A glance, which is filled with so much truth, that it horrifies me. He takes my breath away again... and it seems so easily. "So, where's your kitchen?" he asks me, although he is already walking down the foyer. The glance is vanished. He's masquerading it again. Oh, he's a worldchampion at masquerading things...

I frown at him. He shouldn't be here. We're over. We've separated. Twice. Does he need a third time? Who the hell does he think he is?! Does he think he can walk into my house just like that and continue where we started?! This is ridiculous! I mean, why does he- "Troy!" I yell after him.

"What?" he asks me, his head looking out of my living room. God, he's _so beautifull_...

I sigh, "The kitchen is this way." I say, pointing to my left.

He smiles his 1000-watt-smile at me, making me feel breathless once more. He walks into my direction and I think he wants to walk pass me, but he stops in front of me. "Close the door or you're going to get sick."

I roll my eyes at him, "We don't want that to happen, now do we?"

"No, we don't, Miss Montez... No, we don't." he says into my eyes before he closes the front door for me. The way his bright blue eyes burn it's way into my skin, scares me. It frightens me even... because it reminds me of the amazing time we had and it's intensity.

I don't want him here. My feelings for him scare me. They scare me because they're still so strong. They haven't lost any of their strength - unlike me. I am tired. God, I am so tired of fighting and losing. I don't want to fight anymore.

But I don't want to lose either.

"Is it still rapsberry tea for you?" he asks me.

His voice rips me out of my thoughts. It's such a pleasant distraction from my own fears. "Yes..." I whisper almost to myself. I can't be without him.

That's why he is with me right now.

* * *

**A new chapter. Troy is finally starting to reach out for Gabriella. What do you think about that? Is it already too late for them?**

**Xoxo Nic**


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15:**

"Thanks." I say as he hands me the hot cup of raspberry tea. I am lieing on the light grey couch in our living room. My head is rested on the armrest of the couch. My body is covered with a dark grey cashmere blanket.

"Carefull, it's still hot." he says to me, getting seated in the armchair across me. _God_, he looks so amazing! He's dressed in a simple dark blue jeans and a white oxford shirt, but hell does he look breathtaking in them! They say clothes make men, but Troy Bolton makes the clothes - no doubt about it.

I place the cup on the coffee table and roll over to my left side, so I can face him. I rest my head on my bend arm and allow myself to get drunk in him as I watch him taking a sip of his English Breakfast Tea. He looks so elegant, yet he's dressed so casually. He embodies so many contrarieties. Sometimes, too many... sometimes, just enough to impress me.

"You shouldn't be here." I say to him, talking without thinking. Maybe that's the best strategy.

He sighs, before he brushs with his glamorous long fingers through his still wet hair. "We've already had this discussion, didn't we?"

"I still want you to go."

"You're still lieing."

I frown at him. Am I lieing to myself? I don't know. Do I want to know? Oh this is all so confussion. _He_ is so confussing. "Why are you here then?"

He places the cup on the coffee table as well before he fold his hands and looks at me, "Because I can't live without you, Gabriella. And you can't live without me as well. We can't exist without each other."

"I existed just fine without you." I answer back, maybe a little too cold.

He leans back in the chair, "Yeah, I can see that..."

What's that suppose to mean?! "I don't want to talk to you."

"Yet we're sitting here, talking." he says, on his lips an amused smirk.

I shake my head, "I want you out of my house, Troy. Please... go."

He shakes his head, "No. I won't leave you... a second time."

I frown. "I thought I left you."

"I left you first. I left you because I couldn't bare being left by you aagin... I left you the moment I handed you the document."

"You left me the moment you told me you loved me..." I whisper to myself.

"Yes. I left you, to make it easier for you. Maybe for me in a way."

It didn't make it easier. It wasn't easy. A separation is never easy. "It wasn't easier this way." I say into his eyes, amazed by how much pain they can contain.

He releases a big, long sigh. "I know." he agrees with me.

I lift myself and fold my legs in front of me. _Why_ is he here?! _Why_ can't he just leave me alone? I'd rather feel devasted and heartbroken, than... than full of pain with him. _Why _does this have to be so hard?! Why can't he make it easy? Why can't it just be easy? I shiver, with him nothing is easy. "Troy..." I whisper to myself. It's my very own cry for help. A cry for help and only he knows why I am making it.

Within a second, he is seated beside me. He heard me, although he shouldn't have. As he moves to touch me, I turn away. "Don't touch me..." I say into his eyes. "Don't touch me, because I don't know how I will react to your touch. I have all these emotions inside of me... all this hatred... this pain...this frustration." I sigh, "And I can't deal with them. I couldn't deal with them back then and I still can't deal with them now. So, please don't touch me or I'm going to explode. Explode into so many emotions... too many emotions." I explain to him.

He nodds and withdraws his hand, "Okay..."

"I hate you." I say into his eyes, "God, I _so hate you_ right now. I hate you for showing up at my front door. I hate you for sitting next to me. I hate you for caring about me. I hate you for... for loving me." I brush through my dark brown locks. "And I love you for all that." I say, with a shrugg, feeling tears building in my eyes. I don't hide them from him. I don't hide my pain from him, because he is the reason for it. He caused it. "And you misused my trust." I say with a shrugg, letting more tears rolling down my cheek. "You broke me, Troy." I say into his sad crystal blue eyes. They seem to reflect my pain. It tears me apart even more. "You broke me and no one, nothing, was able to fix me."

"My angel..." he whispers to me.

I shake my head, "No one can fix me but you. I need you to exist as well. I can't _live_ without you, Troy. You are the love of my life. I will always love you. Until the day I die." I say with a shrugg as more tears stream down my face, "But I can't take you back. I can't take you back, because I just don't know if you break my heart again. I just don't know if you misuse my non-existing trust again... I just... I don't trust you. Not anymore. But most of all, I don't trust myself when I am with you." I explain and remove the rolling tears with my hand. "And because I don't trust myself, I need to be apart from you. As much as it hurts, but I can't be with you."

He looks all train wrecked at me. _Oh Troy..._ "What can I do to fix us?"

I shrugg, "I think there's nothing you can do, Troy." I whisper to him.

He sighs, "Don't give up on us... please." Now, he seems to be at the edge of crying.

I show him a weak smile, "I'm not giving up on us, Troy... I just... I need time." I say, brushing through his sandy brown hair. God, his hair is so silky.

He closes his eyes and lets one tear escape. _Oh God!_ Why is this so hard?! I mean, we're already separated..."How much?" he asks me when opening his eyes.

Less than nine months for sure. I shrugg, "I don't know."

He nodds, although I can see that he's not happy with my answer.

I chuckle a little, "That's not really satisfying, is it?"

He scowls at me, "No."

"You just have to live with it."

"But I can't!" he starts arguing with me. "I have lived the past _months_ without you. I can't just continue with this lifestyle. It's unhealthy. Can't we just-"

"No, we can't just continue where we stoped. You misused my trust, Troy. You misused my love. You... You tore me apart without thinking twice."

"Let me explain it to you." he suggests. "I've got the answers you need. You want."

I frown at him. Do I want to hear them? Now? "Troy..." I breath out.

"I'm not giving up on us, Gabriella. You are the love of my life. You were it back then and you still are. It just took me a fucking long time to realize that. But now that I've realized it and I am ready to be whoever you want me to be, you just..." I stop him by placing my hands over his. He stares at my hands for a second before he looks me in the eyes. Never have I seen him this helpless... this broken. And it's all because of me.

"I want you to be yourself. I want - no, I need - every shade of you. Every fucked up shade. Every mistake. Every wrong turn. Every second of your life which you wish you could undo... I want all of you." I say into his eyes.

"Then take me. I am here. I am all yours. I have always only been yours. I just didn't know it back then." Lucas was right. We broke each other. And we can only fix each other. No time will heal my wounds. No time will make it easier for me... Nothing, but him will help me. And nothing but me will help him.

We can only be healed by each other.

"What?" he asks me confused.

"I broke you." I say in a whispertone. He really is broken. He isn't the man he used to be. Just like me.

He shruggs, "Just like I broke you. It was only fair if you broke me..." No wrong word in that.

I sigh before I lift myself and climb over to him. I look him into the eyes as I position myself on his lap, so I face him. His eyes are so intense - even more intense now that we're so close. I fondle his cheek, God I love this man. I love him too much.

I love him so much that it riped me apart.

Without a warning, he kisses me suddenly. It's an intense kiss. A kiss full of need... Full of sorrow. Full of the need to be with me. He gives me everything. Every little drop of his love...

And I give him everything I have as I return his kiss. Fireworks, an atomic bomb rather explode inside of me. It's an amazing feeling - it's _so intense_.

After minutes of exploring each other's mouth, I let go to get some air. _Wow_.

I'm breathless - like always, when he seems to be just fine.

"My angel..." he whispers to me, touching my cheek. God, how much I have missed this. His touch... My nickname... him.

"Troy..." I whisper back, my reponse being weak and helpless. I am his. Always have been. Always will be.

His eyecolor is amazing. The crystal blue has changed into a turqouise color. His eyes shine now like diamonds. "I love you." he says to me, meaning each word. It's the second time he said these words to me.

His words are like balm for my soul. The soul which is now whole because it has it's other half back. The half I can't live without.

I pull his body closer to mine and kiss him again. With all the passion I had hidden in the past ten weeks. I don't know if it's the child who is doing this, or my subconcious. I'm fine with both, actually.

His hands on my back slowly pull up my shirt, setting my bare skin on fire. He helps me out of my black shirt, revealing my dark blue laced bra, which is already a little too small for my breast. My boobs have already grown _so much_ and I haven't even passed the first trimester. I can't even imagine how huge they will be by the end of my pregnancy.

My pregnancy. Oh god... Should I tell him now?

"Troy, " I say, letting go of his lips.

"Mhm..." he says, kissing my throat.

I moan escaped from my mouth as he finds my erogenous zones. "Troy, stop..." I beg him in a whisper tone.

But he doesn't stop kissing me.

"Troy, please..." I say again and he stops. Oh, I didn't think that would work.

"Isn't this what you wanted?" he asks me, his hands placed on my hips. He looks a little confused. If I were him, I'd be more than just a little confused.

"I want this... I want you. I do. Really, I do..." I say with a smile on my lips.

"But what?" he asks me back, being distant out of the sudden.

"I..." God, what if he leaves me? What if he doesn't want kids? Will I get an abortion then? Do _I _want an abortion? I don't know!

"What is it, my angel?" he asks me softly, fondling my cheek. The distance he just created is gone. Just like that.

I take a deep breath, "I..." Words fail me. Come on, Gabriella, you _have to tell him_. One way or another. Sooner better than later. Then you can still do what he wants you to. Will I have an abortion if he asks me to?

I don't know. I frown.

No, I won't have an abortion! I will have this child. With or without him. Yes! I will have this child. This is my child. My baby. My very own flesh and blood.

But am I ready to be a mother? I am twenty-two years old. I'm not married... This happened by accident.

But why should I blame the child for this? It can't do anything about it.

"You're overthinking things again, my angel." he says, smiling at me.

"You're going to be mad..." I whisper, feeling tears building in my eyes.

"What is it, Ella?" he asks me, now more worried than ever.

I shake my head. I can't tell him. What if he freaks out? Or worse, what if he... what if he leaves me?

"Are you deathly sick, Gabriella?" he asks me, his features full of worry.

I shake my head.

His body relaxes immediately. "Good... good... That's good."

I bite my lip.

"Gabriella, just say it. Whatever it is, we'll deal with it. Together." he says in a soft voices, brushing through my hair. Oh god, _this smile_!

"I'm pregnant, Troy." I say into his turqouise colored orbs within one breath, which widen within a milisecond.

_Oh no..._

* * *

**So... Gabi told him that she's expecting. What do you think will be Troy's reaction? Positive or negative? Let me know!**

**Xoxo Nic**


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16:**

"What?" he asks me shocked, leaning against the couch, creating a distance between us. The color of his face has now completely vanished, leaving him as pale as me.

I frown at him. Does he want me to repeat it? I don't think so. I was clear enough. I get off of his lap and pick up my shirt while he is still as silent as a mouse.

"Say something." I whisper to him after I have put on my shirt again.

His eyes are still widen. His body is stiff. His mouth is clenched. His face is still pale.

"Troy..." I beg him. This silence is killing me. It's worse than not letting him know.

After minutes, the silence has become our new best friend.

He just sits there, completely silent. I sit on the coffee table, across him. I study his face, which hasn't changed it's features in the last thirty minutes. It's horrible. It's like a tension is slowly building between us.

Oh god, what is going on in his beautifull mind? Is he thinking of a way to break up with me? To... to leave me? Again? This time for... forever?

I shiver, as goosebumps start making it's way on my skin. What is he thinking of? "Talk to me... please." I beg him again.

"Fuck!" he suddenly shouts, hitting with the fist on the table so hardly, that I seriously wonder why it didn't flip over with me sitting on it.

I jump up in fear. Is he going to continue hitting things? Will he hit me? I shake my head, no, no he won't hurt me... us... his child and me. His... family?

We're not a family yet. Right now, we're at the edge of becoming a family or not. Everything lies in his hands. He decides it.

Jeez, I feel like I'm in the 20th century again. Well, somehow I am.

He looks at me and it is as if he sees me the first time. His stiff features slowly change, ease up a little bit. Out of the sudden he doesn't see his girlfriend who refused to take him back just an hour ago, no, he now sees the mother of his unborn child. Our child. Fear is visible in his eyes. A horrible amount of fear... No, no it's horror. I can handle fear, I was afraid myself but horror... Horror is something else. "You're pregnant." he whispers in a broken voice. "Fuck!" he curses again.

Is this the only word which will come out of his mouth today?

"A fucking pregnancy." his eyes start glowing. Glowing with rage. Oh no, this isn't good...

I nodd slowly, unsure if I should say anything more. Is he slowly processing the message?

Out of the sudden he rises from the chair and brushs through his sandy brown hair, a long sigh escaping his mouth. "I need a drink." he concludes. Is this going to calm him down? I doubt it, I seriously do. No acohol in the world could calm an angry Troy Bolton down.

I frown at him before I rise as well. "There's Brandy in the cupboard above the sink in the kitchen." I explain, a little helplessly. He still hasn't said anything usefull to me. I have no idea in what kind of mood he is in right now. Is he mad? Furious?

I just don't know. But I think... No, I know he is going to freak out. Big time.

He nodds before he walks into the kitchen. I sigh, before I follow him. I watch him move in my white kitchen with black marble working plates like he lives here. Every move is glamorously. I really do hope that our child will get this from him.

He pours the brown liquor into a glass and drinks it within one gulp.

I sit down on one of the barstools at the other end of the kitchen island, watching him closely. He is still silent.

He fills up the glass a second time, but instead of drinking it, he watches the brownish liquor moving in the glass, shaking the glass slightly.

"Could you please say something?" I ask him slowly, unsure if he's going to explode.

"This Brandy is really good..." he mumbles before he drinks out the second glass.

God, this is killing me!

"I need ice in this. Do you have ice?" he asks me.

I frown at him before I shake my head. Ice?! Is this some kind of sign from him? Suddenly, I really do feel cold. Like I'm in the artic or something. I embrace my body, trying to warm myself.

"Troy, could you please comment my pregnancy in a way I can react to properly?" I beg him once more.

He doesn't react to my words, instead he fills the glass a third time.

"Are you planning to get drunk?" I ask him, walking over to him.

"Yes." he says in a stiff voice. At least, he's talking to me in one way.

"Why?" I ask him slowly.

"Because you're fucking pregnant!" he yells, throwing the glass against the wall. "You're fucking pregnant, for Christ's sake!" he explodes.

I jump up as the glass hits the wall, shattering into a thousand little pieces. I didn't expect him to be angry... I mean, to be so furious. I mean, to freak out this much!

He brushs through his hair, "Hell, Gabriella this is so..." he fails with words, but the words he has said were all yelled at me. "We know each other for fucking five minutes, god damn it! How the hell did that happen?!"

How...how?! Is he seriously asking me this question right now? I think he knows how children are created. Sex. And we had a lot of sex. I mean, a lot of sex...

"ANSWER ME!" he yells again, making my jump up as his voices echoes in my kitchen.

"Stop shouting at me." I mumble.

"Shout... Shouting?!" he asks in disbelief, "How can you be concerned about me FUCKING SHOUTING AT YOU?!" he yells the last words to me.

I shake my head, trying to fight the urge to cry.

"There are other concerns. Tell me how. NOW!" he demands, his voice a little lower, though his voice stills echoes in my kitchen.

I feel tears building in my eyes, but I resist letting them roll down my cheeks. I am not going to cry. Not now. Not in front of him.

"We were fucking safe! Always. ALWAYS!" he shouts again, digging his hands into his hair.

"Not always..." I mumble.

"When?!" he asks me, furiousness still visible in his eyes. "Fuck, when, Gabriella!" he seems helpless. Helpless and furious.

A dealthy combination.

I shrugg, "I don't know. But obviously there was one time."

"You sure this is my child?!" he asks me in disbelief.

I take a step back, mentally and almost physically hurt. "Excuse me?!" Is he really saying what I think he's saying?!

He snorts, "You heard me."

"Of course this is your child for Christ's sake! Do you think I betrayed you?! When would I have had the time to betray you even if I wanted you?!" I shout back at him, "You occupied me all the time. And when we were not together, you were still on my mind. You were even in my fucking sleep, Troy. I love you for Christ's sake! Unlike you, I don't run to my ex again! So, don't you dare even spend one minute on doubting your fatherhood on this child!"

"And how did this happen then, huh?!" he asks me back in a loud voice. At least, he doesn't yell them.

I shrugg, "You know how a child is created."

He fakes a laugh, "Don't you dare fucking joke with me now, Gabriella!"

"How do I know this happened, huh?!" I yell again, "I know we were safe! There was not once we weren't... Not once were we..." Oh fuck. There was a time we weren't safe. One time... One night. Oh fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck!

"What?" he asks me.

I look up at him, my horrified eyes getting mirrored by his, "Malibu." I breath out.

"Mali- Malibu?!" he shouts at me in disbelief, "But that was-"

"The only time we had sex without protection." I finish his sentence.

"No! NO! No, for Christ's sake! You had your fucking period! Your period for Christ's sake!" he curses again.

I frown. I didn't think he remember this night as well as I do.

"This is impossible!" he yells into the room.

"You don't want children." I conclude, saying out loud what I think, though I mumble the words.

"No, Gabriella..." he says, shaking his head before throwing the bottle against the wall, creating a huge brown spot on my white wall. Oh well, that's going to be a lot of cleaning to do. "Fuck, you're pregnant." This time I am not scared of the shattering sound.

Him saying the word pregnant seems like a verbal slander. I don't want him to talk about our child this way. It's a child. Our baby. His flesh and blood. And my flesh and blood... It's our child.

"Stop saying this."

"Saying what? That you are pregnant? Guess what, YOU ARE!"

"I know! I know. Do you think, I don't know that?! But you saying this is like a verbal slander!" I argue back. I won't let him do that. Not to our baby.

He is silent again. Oh no, will the silence start again?

"How far are you?" he asks me in a breath.

I'm just not sure what he will shatter next. Another glass? Another bottle? Will he continue throwing things around? Will he hit the marble working plate?

I shrugg, "Tenth week, if I should guess."

"Tenth... Tenth week?!" he asks me shocked, shaking his head.

I gulp, I'm afraid of what he'll do next. "Well, my appointment at Dr. Ross is tomorrow."

"You... You don't even know for sure?!" he asks me, sounding angry again. Oh no, will there be another round? I think, I have enough glasses to be shattered in the cupboards which hang around here... Yeah, should be enough.

"No, I know for sure that I am pregnant, Troy." I say into his eyes. "I have made about one hundret tests, because I couldn't believe it myself. They were all positive. Not a single one was negative. Ask Ryan if you don't believe me."

He fakes a laugh, "As if Ryan wouldn't lie for you."

"Excuse me?!" I ask him shocked. "Do you think I am lieing to you? About a pregnancy? About our child?!"

"It's not a child yet." he hisses through his teeth to me.

"It is a child!" I yell back, fighting for all I care about right now. It is a child. My child. My child with him. Our child. A child. Our baby. My everything. "I can't believe you think I am lieing to you! What the fuck is wrong with you?! I am pregnant with your child and all you do is yelling at me and throwing Brandy around! Very expensive Brandy, by the way." I mumble the last part.

He runs his fingers through his hair, sighing again. "This wasn't planned!" he yells back.

"Of course this wasn't planned! Do you think I wanted to get fucking pregnant at the age of twenty two? Do you think I want to be a young mother?! Guess, what? I never wanted to have children as well!" I argue with him. "But I am pregnant. With your child. Get yourself together and decided whether you want to stay or leave. NOW." I urge him. I need a decision from him. Sooner than later.

"You want a decision?!" he yells at me. "Fine!" he says, holding up his hands in a protective gesture. "I leave then." he says before rushing out of the kitchen.

Wha-What?! My eyes can't properly react to the image they're seeing. He storms out of my kitchen, without any more words. Seconds later I hear the front door slamming shut. He left. He seriously left. He walked out on me. For the first time.

What the hell just happened?! In disbelief I stand into the kitchen as the smell of the expensive brown Brandy start making it's way into my nose. Oh boy, does this smell horrible! As if on call, my stomach turns around and I vomit into the sink.

I'm alone and pregnant. Well, I'm not alone... I have our baby. Perhaps the only thing I have left from him.

* * *

**Uh-ho... Troy walked out on Gabriella. What do you think of his reaction? Did he overreact?**

**Xoxo Nic**


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17:**

I sit tailor-fashion on the floor of the kitchen. The marble floor is kind of cold, but I can't move. I just...

I can't believe he walked out on me! He left me. He fucking left me. He left me because he's a coward! He has always been. When it gets tough he leaves.

I chuckle. How ironic. Actually, I am the one who runs when it gets tough... Perhaps, I rub off on him. Would be a first.

God, this is all so fucked up. But when is it not fucked up with Troy? What did Lucas tell me once? Something about love and it's hard way... I frown. I can't remember. Damn it. I think it would fit into this situation quite well... I sigh, before I fall into a deep, deep slepp. Right on the marble floor. Right where it all... ended.

* * *

My eyes flatter open and I am confused. Where am I?

The clean smell fills my nose as I look around. Right... the kitchen. Did I feel asleep here? If so, how long was I asleep?

I carefully rise from the floor, feeling my stiff limps. Oh god, am I sore! My head hurts, my neck is stiff... I frown as I stretch out my limps. My eyes catch the alarm clock in the kitchen. It's eight p.m.

I shiver as I feel goosebumps making it's way onto my skin. Boy, am I cold!

I need a bath. A hot, long bath... Yes, a bath will make me feel better. It will make me warm again.

I yawn, as I walk up the stairs to my bathroom. I see my cellphone lieing on my bed right where I left it three days ago. I switch the BlackBerry on, hoping for some kind of sign from Troy. But there's nothing. No text. No call... Nothing.

Oh well, guess this means I will raise our child on my own then. Not a problem for me.

I walk into the bathroom and let the water into the tube along with lavender bathing oil. It foams up very quickly, creating lots of tiny bubbles.

I have Ryan. And Miley. And Kelsi. They will help me with the child. I'm sure Lucas will help me as well, although his brother won't talk to me. Not after tonight. So, I am not on my own. I have my family... Just no father.

I'm going to be fine, I think as I strip out of my clothes and get into the tube. Oh this feels good... so relaxing... so warm.

I'm going to be a single mother with everyone's help, but no father. So Troy did walk out on me... I don't care. I can raise this child on my own.

I place my hands on my belly, "I will raise you on my own. I will not give you away. You're my child. My very own flesh and blood. You're all I have left... You're all I need."

* * *

The rain drops splash against the french windows. There's a heavy storm outside, coating the sky in darkness, with only occasional lights from the lightning strikes.

His laughter fills my ears. It's such an amazing sound. Happiness rushs through my veins as I turn around and see him standing in the white doorframe.

"How can you laugh when it is raining outside?" I ask him, feeling my eyes tear up. _Oh no..._

The happiness vanishs from his face before he rushs over to me, hugging me as closely as he could. But my _huge_ bump makes it a little hard.

He chuckles as he feels our child kicking inside of me. "He thinks it's funny as well."

I hit him lightly, "This is not funny. I am so... So _sick_ of everything. I don't want to be pregnant anymore. I want this child out. Now."

He brushs through my hair, "I know... I'd like to welcome our son as well. But that won't happen."

"I'm already six days overdo, Troy. I am ready."

"So am I. But guess our son has other plans with us."

_Thump. Thump. Thump._

"Seems so..."

_Thump. Thump. Thump._

"He's just as stubborn as his mother." he says before kissins me softly.

"Don't forget his father."

_Thump. Thump. Thump. _

My eyes open widely. What is that sound?

_Thump. Thump. Thump._

I frown. I did not imagine this hallow sound. What is that?!

_Thump. Thump. Thump._

Fuck! This is coming from outside.

_Thump. Thump. Thump._

Suddenly I hear a bell. It's an awful sound. The ring is unbearable. Fuck! This is my bell! Damn it.

I jump up in my bed. Who the hell wants something from me at - I glance at my alarm on my nightstand - one in the morning? I frown as I walk out of my bedroom, down the stairs and through the foyer.

"Gabriella!" I hear someone slurring. It's a very drunken voice. "Open the door!" the voice slurs again before I hear someone knocking against it.

I freeze as I recognize the voice. Oh fuck! I slowly unlock the door, seeing the person which belongs to the slurring voice.

"Troy?" I ask him shocked. Who knew that I would see him a second time this drunk? He's leaning against the white wooden pillar.

"Do you... Do you know how many... many houses there are, which look exactly... like this?" he asks me, slurring each word, pointing at the façade of my house. Guess, he accomplished his mission to get drunk this night.

I frown at him. It's hard to understand him. I think I prefer shouty Troy over slurring Troy.

"Sixty... Sixty-seven." he says, pointing to the number which is hanging on the wall. I live in Sixty-seven. "And since, all these houses look exactly like-" he points at my façade again, "this one, I had to wake up every member of each house, because I forgot in which one you live."

He did what?! He rang at all these doorbells because he forgot at which number I live that?! Is he.. Is he crazy?!

"You should..." he pauses, thinking of the right words. "move." he concludes before nodding. "Move, yes... yes you should."

"What are you doing here?" I can't believe he's standing on my veranda in the middle of the night. Drunk.

"I think we should..." he stops, frowning at me. "I think, I think we should talk!" he says, pointing at me, before his finger slowly moves down my body. A drunken chuckle escapes him, "That is going to be harder, when you're wearing something like this..." his eyes dance down my body.

I am dressed in a silk nightgown. A dark blue nightgown. "Come inside."

"Inside!" he squeals. "Yes, inside is a good option... We can continue talking in there." he says, smirking.

Drunken Troy is nicer than shouty Troy. "Come." I say, offering him my hand.

He hits my hand away, "I can still walk myself. Thaanks."

I giggle, drunken Troy is funny. Oh, maybe I prefer drunken Troy over shouty Troy after all. I silently close the front door and turn around. Troy is leaning against the stairs in my foyer, on his lips a seductive smirk... Well, he thinks it's seductive. I think it's funny.

"What?" I ask him, unable to hide the smile on my lips.

"You're a wonderful, wonderful... wonderful woman, Gabriella Montez." he says, smiling in his drunken state. "And you should wear more silk... a lot more silk. That's hot."

"And you're drunk. Let's go upstairs. You're going to sleep in my bed, so I can keep an eye on you." I say, pointing up the stairs. "Will you be able to walk?"

"Walk... Right... walk... I think I can do walk." he says, nodding hastily. "Oh shit!" he mumbles before he loses his steady feet. Just millimeters from touching the ground, he grabs the staircase.

I shake my head. So, no walking for him. "Come on. I'll help you." I mumble before I slowly walk up the stairs with him. He smells of alcohol. A lot of alcohol... too much alcohol, actually. "What did you drink?"

"Bourbon." he mumbles, making me chuckle. He's so funny.

"Bed..." he whispers as we reach my bedroom.

"Yes, bed." I say, grinning as he falls on my king sized bed.

He lets out a laugh as he stares at the ceiling, "Oh! The room is spinning..."

Fuck! Is he going to throw up here? Damn it, that's going to be more cleaning then in the kitchen earlier. Oh please don't throw up. Because it will most probably make me vomit as well...

I start unbuttoning his shirt, "Oh, now we're getting somewhere." he mumbles at me.

I am so unable to hide my amusement. I chuckle as I help him out of his oxford shirt, before I unlace his shoes.

"Do you think this is funny?" he asks me, lifting himself.

I shake my head, grinning.

"This is how it starts..." he mumbles, looking sad out of the sudden. Oh no, will drunken Troy turn into sad Troy? I don't like sad Troy. He makes me even sadder and I don't want to cry. Not again. "I've heard it all..." he mumbles at me.

I frown at him. Heard what?

"No sex. That's how it's going to start... No sex and next thing is, you will chose her over me."

Her? "Troy," I say with a sigh. "I am not choosing anyone over anyone here. I am undressing you. You need rest."

"No, you need rest." he says before pointing at my belly, "Because of this." he says, moving forward, "The little invader is the reason for me getting drunk tonight."

Fuck! He's talking to the child! Troy is talking to the baby! Talking!

"You will take away all of your mommy's time and she will have nothing... for me." he looks up for the last two words. "And I am not ready to share you."

My heart clenches. His self-doubts are eating him up. That's the reason for him getting drunk. "Troy, I will always have time for you." No matter how many children we will have.

"You say that now, but once she is born you will not have any time for me." he mumbles. "Any!" he says as he lets himself fall on the bed again. Another chuckle escapes him, "Your bedroom is funny. It's spinning very fast."

Oh no... I bend down to free his feat from the socks. "Troy, you're my priority number one. You are the reason why we're in this place. You and your love. Yes, things will change when she - or he, we don't know that yet - will be born... But I will still have time for you. Because you're the love of my life. You're my everything." I say and hold my breath to hear his answer.

But all I hear is a quite snore. I lift myself and stare at the sleeping figure. The snoring figure. He has never snored.

I smile before I place my hands on my belly, "That's your drunken daddy, my dear. He might not have been so pleased to hear from you at first, but... he came back to mommy anyway."

* * *

**A drunken Troy... again. What do you think?**

**Review!  
Xoxo Nic.**


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18: **

I stand in my walk-in closet and search for something to wear. I went for a shower, after I woke up feeling too hot because of Troy, who was tangled up in me. As it used to be.

I decide on a simple dark blue dress and black heels. At least, I can still wear heels... for now.

My vibrating phone makes me jump up. I silently curse, I don't want to wake up Troy. He is still sleeping and snoring in my bed. He looks so helpless... so young. So wonderful.

I pick up my BlackBerry from the nightstand and look at the display.

I can't help but grin as I see the picture of the caller. With my purse, shoes and my vibrating cell in my hands I walk into the bathroom.

"Good morning, Lucas." I greet him smiling as I sit down on the chair across my vanity.

"Morning. Are you up for breakfast?"

I look at my watch. My appointment with Dr. Ross is at twelve. I still have two hours. "Yes, I'm up for breakfast. Where shall we meet?"

"I pick you up in five minutes." he says before hanging up.

I frown at the cellphone. This was a little weird... Something is up with Lucas. Something is wrong... Something is bothering him.

I sigh before I apply mascara to my eyelashes and lipgloss to my lips. There, this should do it.

I silently walk out of the bathroom and stand at the end of my bed. God, he looks so breathtaking. Even drunk. Even snoring. He is perfect...

He is the father of my baby.

I get out an Aspirin out of my cupboard for him and place it next to the glass which is filled with water. Next to it I write a note: Eat something. Take the aspirin for your head.

I don't bother to sign it. He knows that it's from me anyway.

I rush down the stairs and get into my heels before I walk out of my house. Lucas' Porsche Cayenne is already waiting outside. The black car looks so elegant. Mhm... maybe I should get myself one as well.

With a smirk on my lips, I silently close the door and walk over to the car. I climb into the passenger seat, getting seated next to the smiling Lucas.

"Hi." I great him, hugging him.

"You slept well?"

My answer is a shrug. Somehow, I did... Somehow I didn't. "You?"

He shakes his head before he drives off.

"What's eating you?"

"Where do you want to have breakfast?" he asks me back.

I sigh, "Don't care."

He nods before he turns left. "I choose then."

"What's wrong, Luc?" I ask him again.

He raises an eyebrow at me, "I should be able to ask you the same question."

I frown at him. Did Miley tell him? Did... Did Troy tell him? Oh... "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Mhm, sure you don't..." he says, concentrating on the road again.

"Are you and Mils okay?"

He shrugs.

"Anything more than just a shrug?"

"We had a fight last night."

"And you fleed this morning."

"Something you teached me."

Oh, I'm really rubbing off on people. This is not good. "Just because I am a runner, doesn't mean you guys have to become runners as well..." I sigh. "What did you fight about?"

He parks the car and looks me in the eyes as he shuts down the engine. "She thinks I'm betraying her."

I gasp. What?! "But that's-"

"I know." he says before getting out of the car.

"Why would she think that?" I ask him as I get out myself.

He shrugs, "How do I know?"

"What did she say to you last night?"

"Something with me acting weird lately and working late and stuff..."

That doesn't make sense. "But you've always been working late. Ever since I know you. You're a workaholic. I understand."

He chuckles, "You should. You're one yourself."

I gaze at him before we walk into the café. It's a little crowded, but we soon find a table we can sit at and continue our conversation. "Well, have you been acting weird lately?"

He shrugs, "How do I know?"

I sigh. This is getting nowhere. "Lucas, something must have happened. Otherwise she wouldn't say those things to you."

He lets out a long sigh, "I've been in Kensington a lot lately."

I frown, "At Troy's?"

He shakes his head.

"Were you with another woman?"

"Yes."

Oh my God! Miley's right. My eyes widen in shock. Never would I have taken Lucas as a betrayer. Never.

"It's not what you think." he explains quickly.

"Then explain it to me." I say as the waitress walks over to us.

She's a blonde with blue eyes. In her early twenties. About my age... God and I am pregnant. I could be her. She could be me... I dismiss the thought quickly.

"What can I get you?" she asks, eyeing Lucas.

Oh no, girl he is taken! By my best friend.

"Two coffees, one omelette with feta and mushrooms and pancakes." he says cool.

I frown, I should eat better than pancakes. "Actually, I'll have a green tea and the fruit plate, please." I say smiling.

She nods, her eyes still focused on Lucas before she turns on her heel.

"Green tea?" he asks me surprised.

I shrug, "So, who's that woman?"

"She's an architect." he explains.

"An Architect? Why are you meeting- Oh my god." I say as I get it. "You're building a home..."

He nods. "It's a flat in Kensington. We're nearly finished. It has two levels and a really nice fireplace. I want Miley to live there with me... I want it to be our home."

Oh, Lucas! I feel tears building in my eyes. I take his hand. "That's _so_ wonderful, Lucas."

He smiles at me. "I just didn't ask Miley. I wanted to surprise her. You know, with a blindfold and stuff..." he shrugs.

This is so romantic!

"But now she's mad at me. And I don't want her to walk out on me."

I snort. Not a good feeling, believe me. I shake my head, "Then you should explain it to her. Somehow. Or surprise her now..." I say as our food and hot drinks are coming.

The food plate looks delicious! It is filled with various foods: From berries to pineapple to all kinds of melons. I feel my mouth watering, as my eyes still try to catch all these rich colors.

Suddenly the smell of the omelette starts filling my nostrils. The feta smells good, but the mushrooms... Boy, those mushrooms! They smell horrible! Absolutely horrible.

How come I've never noticed how bad mushrooms smell like?! This smells even worse than the Brandy in my kitchen last night.

"Hey, are you okay?" Lucas asks me, with a mouth full of omelette.

I nodd, fighting the urge to vomit, "I'm fine, thanks."

He frowns at me, "You look a little pale, Gabs. You sure?"

"Yes. I'm all good... all fine." I say, faking a smile before I pop a strawberry into my mouth.

He returns my smile, his not fake at all. "So, how was Spain?"

"Relaxing... it was a really good decision." I say, nodding. "Spain was just what I needed. A couple of days to oursel-myself." Damn it, Gabriella, think before you talk!

"Good." he says, frowning. "Wait did you just-"

I shake my head, "Forget what I just said, Lucas. Please."

"Gabriella, what's going on with you?"

"Nothing." I lie. I am pregnant with your niece - at least, according to Troy it is going to be niece. I wouldn't mind a nephew. No, actually, I just want it to be healthy.

He snorts, "It was pretty reckless of you to leave your phone here in London by the way."

"I needed three days for myself. No phone. No e-mails. Nothing but myself..." and the baby.

"Troy tried to call you. I gave him your phone number."

"I heard..." I mumble.

"I hope you don't mind. But you guys... You guys just belong together." he says to me, his bright green eyes shining.

I brush through my dark brown locks and sigh. We're going to be bonded to each other now anyways.

"Listen," he starts, "I know that you kind of... refuse talking about him right now, but... he loves you."

I snort. He loves me so much that he starts throwing alcohol and glass around in my kitchen. Yeah, I call that unconditional love for sure.

"He does. And you do too. I know it. You just... give him a chance." he says, taking a sip of his coffee.

I have no other choice, or do I? I'm going to have a child with him. If he wants that or not. My BlackBerry buzzes in my purse. I get it out. Shit. "Luc, I have to go."

He frowns at me, "In the middle of our breakfast?"

"I'm sorry, but I have an appointment..." with my gynecologist.

"You want me drive you? You should eat a little more..." he says, sounding worried.

"Lucas, I..." Should I tell him? I have no idea what Troy's position towards the child is... I'm pretty sure he doesn't want children... but then again, he came back to me last night. Drunk. But he came back.

"What is it?"

"I have to go." I say, rising from the chair. "I'll catch myself a black cab."

He frowns but nods. "Okay..."

"Okay." Now is not the right time to tell him... or is it? "Listen, can we meet after my appointment?"

"I can show you the apartment in Kensington then." he says smiling. "Give me call when you're done whatever you're doing."

* * *

**A new chapter. Please review!**

**Xoxo Nic**

**P.S.: The story is slowly coming to an end...**


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19:**

I knock on the door, holding an umbrella to not get wet from the crazy rain. Even in the summer it rains cats and dogs in London... This is so not New York.

Seconds later he opens the door, showing me his worried expression. He holds the door open for me without a word.

"The weather sucks." I mumble as I close the door before I close the umbrella.

"Gabi, what's wrong? You've got me worried the whole day!" he says to me, brushing through his sandy brown hair. His green eyes are filled with horror... fear even. For a second, I see Troy's eyes in his. Troy's fear...

_Troy._ Goosebumps start making it's way on my skin. I still have no idea how he feels about this child. He is so confusing. I haven't called him yet. I hope, he is still sleeping. "Are you alone?"

He nodds. "No Miley. No Troy. Just the two of us."

Oh, I know that there's no Troy in this house, because he is in _my_ house. Well, I hope he is still in there... Perhaps, I should call him later. Yeah, I should do that. "Lucas, I..." I don't even know where to start. "Have you asked Mils yet?" I ask him as we walk into his kitchen.

He frowns at me, "I don't want to talk about Miley with you. Not yet, anyways. Tell me why you're here, God damn it!"

I've never seen him this worried... this angry. I wonder if he'll calm down once I told him about my pregnancy.

I sigh, "I'm pregnant, Lucas."

His chin falls down. His face loses all of it's color. His green eyes are widen with pure horror. He is silent for several minutes. His face is frozen with horror. His lips are unable to form any words. His mind is probably unable to process the information correctly. His reaction is very much like the one from his brother. I wonder briefly if he's going to start throwing things around as well. "P-pregnant?"

I nodd, "Yes."

"H-How far are you?"

"Eleventh week." I say into his eyes.

His body relaxes within a nanosecond, "So, it's not mine..."

I roll my eyes, "Of course it is not your's. We were safe. Always."

"That means it's Troy's."

"It is..."

"What are you going to do now?" he asks me slowly.

"Truth to be told, I could still have an abortion." I say into his eyes.

They fill with pain right away, "I won't let you kill my nephew or niece!" he starts arguing with me, "Listen, you may-"

"I won't do it." I quickly interrupt him. "But I thought about it."

"Why?"

I shrugg before I feel the tears start building, "I... I never wanted to have children. I never wanted to have a family... And now... Now I am... Pregnant..." And I have no idea if I have to raise this child alone or not. This thought has been eating me the whole morning.

He huggs me right away, "Gabs, you're not alone. You have Kelsi... Miley... Ryan... Me."

"Did you already tell Troy?"

I sigh, "He didn't... I mean..." I fail with words.

He fills one cup with coffee, "Are you allowed to drink coffee?"

"A cup a day... I had mine already."

"So tea. Black?"

"Green if you have."

He nodds, "How long do you know about the pregnancy?"

"About a week." I say briefly.

I bite on my lip, "I thought about adoption, you know."

Lucas' eyes widen again, "Adoption?! Hell no! No! Absolutely no! Do you hear me?!" he says shocked, "You won't give away this child! This is a Bolton, for Christ's sake!"

I frown. I totally forgot that the name Bolton is a label. Kind of like being her Royal Duchess of Cambridge.

"So, how did Troy react?"

"He freaked out on me. Big time." I say, taking a sip of my tea.

"How big?"

"Hollywood-movie big." I say and sigh, "He threw things around..."

"Th-Things?" Lucas asks me shocked.

"Brandy... a glass... Things." I say with a shrugg.

Lucas eyes are still filled with shock. "That's not my brother."

I shrugg, "He was yesterday..."

"So, I guess his reaction wasn't as pleasant as you wanted it to be."

I shake my head. "I didn't expect him to stand at my doorstep when I came back from Spain... He took me totally by surprise."

"So you backfired on him by telling him that he's going to be a father."

"Yes... Somehow." I say and shrugg, "I didn't made up my mind about the baby before I told him... But as I told him... As I started thinking about what his reaction could be I... I realized that I want this baby. With or without him." I say and smile. "It's my child. And who knows, maybe the only child I will have."

"Don't say that..."

I shrugg. "Considering my past, this pregnancy is a fucking miracle, Lucas. That's about what Dr. Ross told me ealier."

"You were at your gynecologist just now?"

I nodd.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier? I could have accompanied you!"

I shrugg. "Truth to be told, I thought you'd walk out on me as well."

"But I would never - wait, did Troy walk out on you?!" Lucas asks me, raising an eyebrow.

I nodd, "He was _so_ furious, Lucas. I've never seen him this furious. He was horrified, shocked and so... it was such a heartclenching moment. He freaked out. He doesn't want children."

"No... No, Gabriella, you've got it all wrong." Lucas says to me softly.

I frown at him, "What do you mean by that?"

"You should talk to Troy again. To the sober Troy. He will explain. He's just scared, that's all. This pregnancy... it all took us by surprise."

And how it took me by surprise!

His face lightens up, "So, do you have an ultrasound of my niece or nephew yet?"

I return his goofy grin before I reach into my purse and get out a picture. "Of course..."

_Flashback_

"Yeah, you're definitly pregnant, Miss Montez. Congratulations." Dr. Ross says smiling at me. "Eleventh week."

I frown at him. Eleventh week? That means the child wasn't created in Malibu after all... it was created in New York... It's a New Yorker baby.

"Would you like a picture?" he asks me as I am still trying to remember the night the child was created.

I nodd, grinning myself as the heartbeat of my baby fills the room. It's the most wonderfull sound ever. I can't stop grinning. I just... I can't stop feeling excited, proud and... So touched at the same time. "Yes, please."

"You came here rather late than ealier, Miss Montez. Is there a reason for it?"

I blush. "Well, I... I didn't notice it, I guess." It's a lame explanation, but it's the truth. "I mean, when I missed my first period I thought that it was because of the stress, since I've just moved here about ten weeks ago or so. And at the time when I was suppose to have my second period, I indeed had a bleeding... Is that normal?"

The brown eyed man nodds at me, "Some women experience bleedings in their earlier pregnancy, so it is rather common. Plus, your uterus doesn't seem to be the most... friendly uterus, I'd say. You have a lot of scars..."

Of course I do. Having two miscarriages, one getting beat out of me, have left their scars.

I nodd, "But the child's all healthy, isn't it?"

"All healthy, all the right size and weight... all in all, the perfect baby for it's time being."

_End of Flashback_

He frowns at the picture, "Well I can see... exactly nothing."

I giggle, "It's a little hard to see something yet..." I say and point at the light spot, "That's the baby."

"That small?" he asks me in disbelief.

"It will grow faster than you think." I say and smile.

He returns my smile, "You can do this, Gabi. You have us. And you will have Troy, once you talked him another time."

I'm not sure he wants the baby. I want him to want the baby. But I don't want him to want the baby because he wants me. That would be kind of wrong...

I look at him, "Will you go to the next ultrasound with me? I mean, that way the child will at least have one family member of it's father's side..." Who knows what Troy is going to throw around the next time I'm going to talk to him.

He nodds, "Okay. But you should go home now and talk to Troy. He'll come around. Trust me. I know my brother."

* * *

I silently unlock the front door of my townhouse in Covent Garden, London. The foyer is totally silent. There's no sound coming from the kitchen as well, I notice as I check. Is he still sleeping? He has left me again?

I shiver. No, please, do anything but leave me. I can't be without him. I kick off my shoes and throw my purse and keys on the little cupboard in the foyer. Who knows how things will develop from now?

I sigh, no sign of Troy. He is gone. He has left me. Now, I know how he must have felt all these times when I ran away. It must've torn him apart each time I left him. It's a horrible feeling.

"Looking for me?" I hear his voice.

I turn around and see him sitting in the armchair in the living room. The same armchair he sat in yesterday when I told him that he's going to be a father. He's wearing a simple white shirt and dark blue jeans. His legs are folded. His eyes are filled with worry. A lot of worry.

"You're here..." I breath out, feeling relieved. He's here! He didn't leave me! He's still here...

"Of course I am here." he says, rising from the chair. "I'm not a runner... not like you." he narrows his eyes at me.

Ouch! Sober Troy is cynical. Mhm... I still prefer drunken Troy. He was the funniest of them all.

"Where were you?" he asks me in a serious voice.

Is he mad at me? "I was having breakfast with your brother before I had my appointment at Dr. Ross..." I mumble.

"You had breakfast with Lucas? So, when I am mad at you, you run off to Lucas?!" he asks me in disbelief.

I shake my head, "He called me."

"So, you left one Bolton in your bed, while you had a date with the other one!" he says, brushing through his hair, "What the hell were you-"

"Stop it!" I yell at him. "This is not what is was like, Troy! Stop making those fucking accusations! I did not have a date with Lucas! He is in a relationship with my best friend, for Christ's sake!" I start arguing with him. "I met with him because he and Mils had a fight."

"Then how come Miley didn't call you?!"

He doesn't believe me, does he?! "She didn't call me because she knows that I have other worries on my mind! Other problems. She didn't want to bother me with her problems. But Lucas... He doesn't have many friends. We're good friends. I am there for him."

"Oh, so you don't run away when it gets tough with him?"

I shake my head, "You know what? Screw you! I don't have to justify my behaviour towards you! Believe me or don't. That's your shit." I say, brushing through my dark brown curls, giving him a killer-glance.

"No, it's not just my shit we're talking about, Gabriella!" he yells at me. "Do you know how worried I was when I woke up and you were not here?!" he asks me.

I frown. I didn't think about that yet.

"I thought so." he says, brushing through his sandy brown hair. His crystal blue eyes are filled with worry. A lot of worry. It tears me apart to see him this worried... knowing that I am the reason for it. "You got me fucking worried, Gabriella."

"You don't have to worry about me. I am fine. I was fine without you and I still am." I hiss at him. "I'm not your's to worry about."

"Not mine to- Not mine to worry about?!" he asks me in disbelief, "Fuck, Gabriella, you're all I am worried about! Always! Do you think I chose to worry about you? I didn't! But I do. 24/7. And you know what's even worse?! It's not only you I have to worry about now. Because..." he is silent, pausing for a second, searching for words. "We know each other for fucking five minutes, Ella, and now... Fuck. Diapers and vomit and shit! This is not the right time!" he yells back. "Neither is it the right place!"

I frown at him, at least the yelling doesn't take me by surprise like yesterday. Is this just about bad timing with him?!

"Do you... Do you know _how much_ I gave up to be with you?!" he asks me in disbelief.

"Gave up for me?! I didn't ask you to give anything up." I yell back, surprised that his anger took controll over me as well.

"I had a life in New York. A career... I had everything-"

"Then go back!" I interrupt him. "Go back to fucking New York. Go back to your career, of which none should be left of after what I did. You can even visit Tanner in prison if you want to. Go! Nothing's holding you."

"Nothing, _nothing's_ holding me?! Are you kidding me, Gabriella?!" he asks me, brushing through his dirty blonde hair. "You are here. And... Lucas is here. Even my father is here in England." he says before clenching his teeth. "And this... This _thing_ is here as well."

I frown at him. Thing? What does he mean by thing? What thing? My eyes widen as it clicks inside my head and before I can stop my body from reacting, I slap him very hard. _Very hard_, I have to recognize as the palm of my hand starts burning and various red colors. "It is not a thing." I say into his eyes. "It's a baby. Your's and mine. Our's."

He remains silent, wearing his poker face. Doesn't he... Doesn't he have _any feelings_ for this baby? For my pregnancy? For...

"I wanted to show you the world before... _this_!" he starts yelling at me out of the sudden, "I wanted you to live with me, before _this_. I wanted a _life_ with you before this. I wanted..." he says to me, his eyes glowing.

I don't get him. Does he or doesn't he want kids? He's a mystery to me. As always.

"I wanted to marry you before we spent even _one_ _thought_ about having children. I wanted so much for you before this was even anywhere near the future. Our future." he explains in a calmer voice.

Marriage?! Future?! I still don't understand him. "If you don't want children, then please be so kind and leave me. Once and for all, Troy." I mumble. I don't know what he wants. He is so confusing. And frustrating.

He shakes his head at me before he walks over to me. Placing his hands on my hips, he says, "You're too stubborn to see, aren't you?" His bright blue eyes are looking deep into my eyes. It's a glance which makes me breathless. Breathless, horny and afraid, to be honest. Only he can create such a mixture of emotions inside of me.

"I..." I don't know what he wants.

He brushs through my hair, "Your hair is shorter." he notices before he tucks a lock behind my ear. "It suits you."

"You really want to talk about hair right now?" Because your's still as silky as I remember.

He shakes his head at me once more. "No, no hair talk right now..." he says, smiling at me.

I feel my body relax as I reflect his smile. His smile is _so addictive_! I really hope our baby will get his smile... His heartwarming smile. He is no longer mad... or is he? "Why are you so mad at me?" I ask him in a whispertone, afraid that he will start yelling at me again. I am tired of fighting. Tired of standing up for myself and our baby... I am just _so _tired.

He laughs, "I am not mad at you, my angel."

"I don't understand." I really don't. But his smile is reflected by me once more.

He fondles my cheek and I feel my body respond to his touch deep, deep inside my belly. "I want children." he says into my eyes. "With you. As many children as you want."

"So, what's your problem then?"

"It's the wrong time... the wrong place... the wrong moment." he says with a shrugg and I can see the helplessness in his eyes... He's scared. _So_ scared.

"We still have a little less than seven months to experience everything we should according to you." I say back to him. For the first time I am not afraid of my future. Because I have him beside me. With him, anything is possible.

"I'm not ready to share you yet." he mumbles, burrying his nose in my hair.  
"You have seven months to get used to it."

He smiles at me, "I love you."

I bite my lip, "I know." I whisper before I kiss him softly. "I love you, too."

He presses his forehead softly against mine. "You're pregnant..." he whispers.

Oh finally, he's processing this information properly. "Yes." I agree with him.

"How are you feeling?" It's the first time someone asks me this question. How do I feel?

I shrugg, "Hungry, moody, tired and sick all at the same time." I explain to him.

He frowns at me, "Do you want something to eat?" he asks me concerned. "I am still a great cook, you know."

I chuckle, "Yes, I remember that. But I don't want to eat. I'm going to puke it out anyway..."

"What do you want, my angel?"

"You." I whisper, biting my lip. I wanted him since the day I first met him in the hospital. I wanted him my whole life without knowing it. I want him. Him only.

"You have me already. You had me from the day you handed me coffee in the hospital." he whispers back before kissing me softly. "What else?"

"Hold me." I say and feel his arms around me seconds later. I rest my head on his shoulder, enjoying his arms around me. Love rushs through my veins. It's an amazing feeling. "Are we okay?" I ask him after a moment.

He shakes his head, softly. "No, my angel, we're not."

I frown at him before I release myself from his embrace. Oh no, will this start again? "Why?"

"Because we're pregnant and we still have a lot to do in the upcoming months." he says smiling.

"We?" I ask him with a smirk on his lips.

"Yes, we." he says before kissing me passionately.

* * *

**The next chapter will be last of "Slow Down The Sun". Do you guys want a sequel?**

**Xoxo Nic**


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20:**

I wake up, feeling too hot again. I'm tangled up in Troy. His legs are tangled up with mine, his arm is embracing my upper body, placed just around my belly as if he wanted to make sure the baby - as well as me - stays with him. His head is rested on my breasts. He is taking deep, regular breaths which create goosebumps on my skin. He's still sleeping.

I grin, resisting the feeling to brush through his dark blonde hair. My man. The love of my life. The father of my child. I belong here, though I didn't know it a year ago. But here I am. Here is where I belong. Where _we _ belong.

The sun has already risen above London, coating this amazing city in bright lights. It's early in the morning, yet I haven't felt more vital than just now. It's amazing, how one person, one moment-

"Good morning, my angel." I hear his voice, ripping me out of my thoughts.

I look down and stare into the most beautiful eyes ever. God, I really hope our child will get his eyes... they're so _damn_ beautiful! A bright smile appears on my lips, "Good morning." I say, brushing through his dark blonde hair.

He returns my smile and leans forward to kiss me, but I turn away. "Morning breath." I mumble as an excuse, when really his smell is making me want to vomit.

He raises an eyebrow at me.

"You should shower." I say to him, being at the edge of vomiting now.

He looks at me confused for a second or two, before his features relax and he smiles at me. "It's the smell which makes you want to vomit not the morning breath, doesn't it?"

I nodd before I run out of my bed, because it really does make me vomit. I puke out the dinner from last night into the marble toilet. God, I hate this pregnancy!

"Are you okay?" he asks me worried as I paddle dry my face with a towel.

My eyes lock with his in the mirror in front of me. He wearing a stripped pjama pants, no shirt. His abs are definitely something you could stare at the whole day. He is leaning against the doorframe, casually and glamorously at the same time. Only he can combine those two contradictions. His bright blue eyes are shining back at me. Yet, they're filled with worry and the protective instinct I have been seeing ever since I told him that I am expecting. He will be an amazing father, no doubt about that.

"I'm fine." I say, nodding. "You should shower."

He walks over to me and hugs me from behind, "You sure?"

His smell fills my nose again, "Yes. Otherwise I will throw up another time."

He chuckles, "I meant your health condition."

I let my body fall against his and close my eyes, inhaling. "I am pregnant." I say, opening my eyes again, "What do you expect? A pregnancy is not just happiness and love. It contains vomitting and mood swings as well." I say with a shrugg, before I turn around and face him.

He smiles at me. It's a heart warming smile. The kind of smile I like best. A smile filled with nothing but love. Love for me and his child. Love for us.

"Shower. Now." I urge him as the smell makes it's way into my nose again.

He nods, "Okay..." he says, releasing me from his hug.

I sigh, feeling cold and lonely already. I watch him stripping off his pants and boxers before he walks into the shower and turns on the hot water. God, he's such a good looking man. Such a breathtaking man... Such an amazing, wonderful, irresistable man!

"Will you continue staring at me the whole time or will you get your sexy ass here as well?" he asks me, facing me with his glorious back as the water runs down his body.

I shake my head, a dirty grin on my lips. He can read my thoughts so easily... How is he doing this? "Give me a minute to brush my teeth." I say back before I start brushing my teeth, my eyes not leaving his body in the mirror the whole time. How lucky am I to have such a man?

"Still waiting!" he calls over the sound of the running water.

I spill out the toothpaste and shake my head, before I make my way to the shower, stripping of my clothes as I go.

"Hi." he says, smiling. His crystal blue eyes shine through the warm steam in the shower cabin.

"Hi." I mumble back before kissing him softly. He deepens the kiss, brings it to another level. Sexual desire starts flowing through my veins within a second, making me want more, making me need more. More than just a kiss from him.

"How do I smell now?" he asks me with a smirk on his lips. Oh, he knows exactly what he's doing to me! Turning me on, just to leave me all needing and beging.

"You smell of sex." I say back, before brushing through his hair. "A big amount of sex."

He frowns, "But we didn't even-"

I shut him off with a kiss, pulling his body closer to mine. He kisses me back, giving everything he has. Giving his heart, his soul away - just like me. I run my fingers down his back, feeling every muscle contract as I move.

Abruptly, he lets go of my lips. "Not here." he says into my eyes.

What?! No, he can't just leave me here all horny and wanting and needing and beging! I frown. No. Please? I show him my best puppy eyes.

He chuckles. Does he think this is _funny_?! This is not funny! Anything but _funny_! "You can show me your puppy eyes as much as you want, but I won't fuck you in a slippery shower. Not when I have to consider the health of my child as well."

My frown disappears. Of course... the child.

He kisses me quickly. "Let's just shower, okay?"

I nodd, although I seriously wonder how I can enjoy a normal shower with Troy, while I am still horny as hell. "But we will be having sex, right? I mean, just because I am pregnant, doesn't mean, we won't have sex... right?" I couldn't bare living seven months without any sex at all. Especially not with a man this sexy by my side.

He chuckles again before he smiles at me. "Nothing can keep me away from you, my angel. Not even our child." He says in a seductive voice, making my lungs loose all it's air. He's making me breathless. As it used to be.

* * *

The open fireplace in the living room fills this cold autumn night with warmth. The fire is creating a soft, cozy lightning. We're sitting on the floor, tangled up in each other's sweaty bodies which are covered with a soft cashmere blanket. Troy was right when he said that nothing could keep him away from me - and I am _so glad_ because pregnant sex is _amazing_. The best sex ever. _Ever_!

His fingers trail up and down my bare right arm, creating goosebumps on my skin right away. My nerves react to his touch, creating a deep desire for him once more. How could I have lived three months without this feeling? Without his touch? Without his lips? Without his hot breath on my skin? Without his addictive smile? It all seems so impossible right now...

"I'm scared, you know..." he whispers into my ear as I lean my back against his muscular upper body.

"I know..." I whisper back, inhaling his scent. God, how could I have lived without this scent?!

"What if I screw up?" he asks again, causing me to open my eyes.

He looks deep into my eyes, making me feel his fear of what we're getting ourselves into. "You won't." I promise him, fondling his cheek. "You will be a great father, Troy. You will be a little too protective and you will worry like _crazy_, but you will be an awesome father. Trust me on this. You will not screw this up."

"What if... What if it won't love me?"

I release myself from his embrace and turn around so I face him. How could I have not seen this? This... This horror? It's unimaginably huge! I brush through his silky dirty blonde hair, before I kiss him softly. "Children are programed to love their parents. It's impossible to not love your parent, Troy."

"You don't love your mother. The one who gave birth to you, remember?"

I sigh, "She screw it up big time. Many times. She... She tore this bridge of love apart. And I refuse to build it again. I am happier without her. I don't need my... My _mother _to exist." I explain to him in the best way possible, "But I... I used to love her. Unconditionally. Before... Before it all started." I say and shrugg.

"I don't understand why you still love your father but not your mother?"

"My father only hurt me physically. He hurt me because he didn't know where to go with his anger, frustration and pain. So, he took it out on me. Back then, I... I rather wanted him to take it out on me than on Victoria. Hurting me physically didn't meant that he had stoped loving me. He still loved me. I saw it in his eyes when he abused me. His eyes were filled with anger, frustration... Pain. And then... There was this... This tiny bit of love in his eyes. It was there anyway. That's why... Why I didn't stop it by turning to Victoria. Because when I looked into her eyes I... I didn't see it. I didn't see this bit of love in here eyes. I saw nothing. But my father..." I brush through my hair, "he loved me even when he hurt me."

"Why did you leave with Victoria then and not stayed with your father then?"

"Where do all these questions come from?" I ask him smiling.

He shrugs, "I'd like to know..."

I bite my lip, before I let silence take over us. I can't tell him... I have never told anyone this... But if I don't tell him, then who else? A shrink? No, shrinks are nothing for me. I take a deep breath, "He asked me to go." I say in one breath.

Troy frowns at me.

"I wanted to stay. _God I so wanted to stay..._" I say, travelling back in time. "But he asked me to go. Leave him and never look back. He said that a girl needs her mother. Not father." I say and shrugg, feeling tears building in my eyes. "That's why I left. He said that one day he would... One day we would see each other again. I'm still waiting for the day to happen." I say, feeling a tear rolling down my cheek.

He removes the tear with his thump, "It must be hard..."

"I'm doing okay. I have you. I have my family here in London."

"Do you know where he is?"

I shake my head, "I don't even know if he's still alive to be honest."

He nodds.

"Anymore questions?"

"Just one."

I nodd.

"Where did you meet your... Your family as you call it?" he asks, refering to the my only family I need... To Kelsi and Miley.

I frown. I don't want to go down that road. It was one of the darkest parts of my life. But at the same time one of the lightest parts of my life. It was the hardest time in my life before I met Troy... Harder than anything else. I shake my head. "Why the digging in my past?"

He shrugs, "Your shit is mine, remember?"

I chuckle, remembering this quote from a year ago. "I don't have to share this shit with you... It might be too heavy after all."

"I won't break under the weight of your past, I promise. It won't make me run away."

"You walked out on me once. Perhaps you'll do it again."

He fondles my cheek, "I won't walk out on you again. I promise this, my angel. I walked away from my fear. But not from you. I could never walk away from you, because you keep on haunting me. You kept haunting me when we were separate. I saw you in my dreams every single time I fell asleep. I smelled your scent all the times. Sometimes I even heard you laugh... You see, there is no way I could ever walk out on you."

I had no idea he felt the way I did when we were separate... We really have this twisted connection. A connection which will survive anything - from abusing parents to ruined careers. I nodd, "Okay..."  
"Okay..." he echos me before kissing me softly.

I brush through his dirty blonde hair as I deepen the kiss. He returns it, giving into it much more than I ever could. I feel the hot desire flowing through my veins, demanding it's satisfaction. I feel his hands travelling down my back as his errection starts growing. Without letting go of his lips, I position myself on him, letting him fill me up completely and slowly. It's the best feeling in the world, I think as I feel him stretching me. Never before have I felt this way when I had sex. Only with him. Because with him I am making love. I am experiencing sex as something wonderfull connected to emotions... So strong emotions... Connected to my love for him and his for me.

He lets go of my swollen lips, giving me air to breath. His eyes are glowing with desire and love... For me. I still can't get over the fact that I really have him here... Inside of me. "I'm so glad that you found me." he whispers to me.

I return his smile, "Me, too." I whisper before I kiss him quick. "I don't know how I used to live before you... It seems so impossible."

"I know..." he says, brushing through my locks. "I love you."

"I love you, too." I say before I feel his lips crashing against mine. We let our feelings for one another take control of us once more. I feel his lips on my neck, my shoulders, my breasts... Everywhere. Moans escape my mouth, voicing my desire. My hands travel down his muscular back, making each muscle velicate from my touch. I'm so glad that he's feeling the same for me as I do for him. This insatiable desire.

Suddenly, I hear the door getting unlocked far, far back in my mind. I ignore this sound, maybe it's the wind or something. I don't want this feeling to stop. This feeling he is giving me. I don't want this moment to end. This moment of perfection.

"Oh fuck!" I hear Ryan's voice, which abruptly stops the feeling of desire inside of me.

I open my eyes and look into Troy's.

"I am... _ So sorry_ to be interrupting." I hear Ryan's voice again before I turn my head to the side. He's standing in the foyer, dressed in a dark coat. The silver suitcase is standing beside him. He looks tired... "I mean you guys are obviously occupied by-"

"Ryan?" I ask him.

"Yes?" he asks me, still shocked about what he is seeing.

"Turn around!" I hiss at him.

He does as he's told, "Right, sorry... Listen, I am really glad that you guys are celebrating your get-together, but... I mean could you please-"

"We'll be gone in a few seconds." Troy interrupts him.

I frown at Troy, who is grinning at me. "Do you think this is funny?!" My brother has never caught me having sex. Never before.

Troy shakes his head, "Of course not..."

"Actually, it is." Ryan says and I can imagine him smiling.

"Ry, could you -"

He nodds, "I'll be in the kitchen, so you guys can... Uhm, leave." he says before walking into the kitchen.

"Wraps your legs around my waist." Troy demands, his glowing eyes take my breath away once more. How can a man hold so much passion inside him and not explode?

He won't let me walk myself? Oh that's _so totally fine_ with me. I do as I am told and he lifts us from the floor within one glamouros movement.

"You sure I am not too heavy for you?" I say, holding the blanket as he walks with me into the foyer.

"You're never going to be too heavy for me, Ella. You're perfect." he says back, placing his hand beneath my butt as he starts walking up the stairs. I love it that he can walk with me, while we're still connected to each other. While I still feel him inside of me. I love that he doesn't want to break this connection as much as I do.

"The living room is clear! You can come out now." I yell, resting my head on Troy's shoulder.

Ryan appears into the foyer and smirks at me as he watches me getting carried away by Troy. He mouths me a "Finally!" and I roll my eyes in response.

Seconds later we reached my bedroom and I hear Troy closing the door as his lips connect with mine again. Desire starts floating through my veins, like it never stoped. Within seconds, I am horny again, forgetting everything that's around me once more. He is always making me forget everything around me. Everything but him and me. As it used to be.

* * *

"Wow." I say breathlessly as he pulls out of me and lays next to me on the bed. "Thank you." I say, grinning. My desire _definitely_ has been satisfied. Let's just see for how long.

"No, thank you." he says, rolling over to his side, to look at me. He returns my grin right away. His grin is _so_ beautiful, so addictive... So perfect.

"Pregnant sex is amazing." I mumble before kissing him once more.

"And we don't have to care about protection anymore." he says, brushing through my hair.

"We should be a little more carefull with the location, though." I say, chuckling. "Ryan is definitely going to kick me out now."

"Then move in with me." he says casually.

I frown before I look at him, "What?" I didn't expect this. Not from him. Not... Not now! Suddenly, I am all awake. I lift myself and look down at him. He's asking me to move in with him? N-Now?!

"Move in with me. I mean, we're going to be a family anyway... And down the road we will be living together. Why not fast forward and move in now... Before the baby comes you can get settled in." he explains, lifting himself up so we're even.

"I..." I am speechless. I mean, this does sound all reasonable and right but... How am I suppose to tell him that I don't like his house?

"What's wrong?" he asks me frowning.

I bite on my lip.

"If you don't want to then just-"

"No... No. I do... I'd like to move in with you." I say without thinking. As soon as those words escaped my mouth, I know that I really do want to move in with him. I don't want to spend another day without him anymore. Never again, I want to be separate from him. Not in this way.

"But?"

"I don't like your house." I say in one breath. There, I said it. "I mean, I... It's your house. It represents you... It is _so you_, Troy. And I love that. I love seeing this house and thinking of you. It's like this house has been builed for you..."

"But not for you." he says back.

I nodd, "I'm not sure I can be... I mean, it's an amazing house with an amazing architecture but..."

"It's not a house for you."

"Yes." I say, unsure what he's going to say now. What his reaction is going to be.

He laughs, "That's the only problem you're worrying about?"

"Uhm... Yes."

"We'll find another house together then."

"But then you have to mo-"

"It's just a house, Ella. I'll go anywhere with you. As long as I have you, there's nothing I wouldn't do. I would even move to the other end of the world for you." he says softly, brushing through my hair, in his eyes nothing but love.

"Just out of the house will be enough." I mumble before kissing him softly.

* * *

_Two weeks later:_

"Miss Montez?" the nurse asks.

Lucas and me raise synchronically from the chair in the waiting area. We walk down a thin long hallway and into the examine room at the end of the hallway.

"I'm getting fat feet, you know." I say as I sit down and look at my feet. I love my feet! They're slim and... Not too big.

Lucas chuckles, "You're not getting fat feet."

"I am!" I protest. "Sooner than you know, I'm going to need new shoes because my feet will grow! I don't want to have fat feet..."

A doctor walks into the examine room. Her long brunette hair has been pinned up. Her bright blue eyes are shining as she sees Lucas and me waiting for her.

"Oh you must be the father then!" she says to Lucas, shaking hands with him, "It's so nice to finally meet you."

Lucas frowns at her. "No, I'm not the father. I'm the uncle to be." If only she knew that he actually could have been the father in theory... Oh boy, she so has no idea what my life is like.

Her smile drops as confusion makes its way into her brain. She nods, smiling a little "Well, it's nice to meet the uncle to be then."

"Who are you?" I ask her frowning. Dr. Ross is my gynecologist. Not... not her!

"Oh, I'm sorry Miss Montez, I'm Dr. Stevens. " she says, handing me her perfect manicured hand.

I shake it, "Where's Dr. Ross?"

"Right, he's stuck in hospital. One of his patients is giving birth right now. That's why he asked me to fill in for him."

I nod, "Okay."

She smiles a softly smile at me, "Good. So, with the uncle to be right here and not the father like I thought... Sorry about that again."

Lucas smiles, "No problem."

I chuckle, "The father is on a business trip in France right now. He'll come to the next ultrasound... hopefully."

_Flashback_

"When's your next ultrasound?" he asks me, drawing circles on my belly with his finger as I play with his short, messy hair.

Sweat drops are visible on my stomach from the sex we just had, which is still as flat as it used to be. No visible sign of my pregnancy down there. But further up, there has been changes. _Big changes_. My breasts have grown a lot and are now enormously big. It's ridiculous how huge my breasts are. Something Troy likes already about this pregnancy.

"In three days." I say to him. I can't wait for him to see the baby!

He lifts his head up and looks me in the eyes, "In three days you say?"

I nod, he sounds worried. "What is wrong?"

"I have a business meeting in Paris in three days." he mumbles and frowns.

_Oh._ "Okay..." I mumble. So, he won't see our baby. Not yet, anyways. That sucks. I'd like him to be there... To share this with him. I mean, it's the closest he can get to be with the baby.

"But I-" I place my finger in front of his mouth, making him stop talking.

"Go on your business trip. It's important. For you. For your job. For your family." I say, smiling at him.

He sighs, "But I could-"

I shake my head, "Fly to France. I will be fine. We will be fine without you for a couple of days..." I lie, I'm going to miss him like crazy. "How long will you be here?"

"Two days. I can't bare being longer away from you."

A smirk appears on my lips. "Me neither."

_End of Flashback_

"How are you doing, Gabriella?" Dr. Stevens rips me out of my flashback.

"No morning sickness anymore. Thank God, that was horrible!" I say, rolling my eyes. "Other than that I am pretty fine... Beside the feet thing."

"What feet thing?" she asks me worried.

"Gabi thinks she will get enormously fat feet. Which won't happen." Lucas says to me.

"Your feet will grow. You might need new shoes soon."

"See? I told you!" I say to Lucas, who rolls his eyes at me.

"Lift your shirt, so we can have a look at the baby." Dr. Stevens says to me.

I do as she said before she puts cold gel on my stomach. With the ultrasound she moves around on my stomach and stops as a heartwarming sound starts filling the room.

"What is that?" Lucas asks surprised.

"The baby's heartbeat." I explain to him, pointing at the monitor, "And that's the baby."

His green eyes are filled with a sparkle as they look at the monitor, "Wow... My niece... or nephew."

I chuckle, "Any chance to see the sex?" I ask Dr. Ross.

"If we're lucky..." she says before she starts moving the ultrasound a little on my stomach, "And we're lucky."

I raise an eyebrow at her.

"A girl." she announces smiling. "Congrats."

A grin appears on my face. A girl... A tiny girl!

"I told you it's a girl." Lucas says to me before he kisses my forehead. "My niece."

Troy's daughter.

Our daughter.

* * *

I take a sip of my herbal tea, staring out of the window, which offers a view of the full streets in London. London is crowded. _So_ crowded. Actually, London is always crowded - no matter the time or place.

"Okay, so I just talked to Miley and she said that she will come with us to this benefical event tonight." I hear Lucas voice before I turn my head around. He walks through the crowded café, over to me.

I smile, "Good. Kelsi is still in Sweden, so she won't be able to attend."

"Did you ask Ryan already?" he asks me, getting seated next to me at the bar.

I nod, "He'll attend as well."

"So, Miley, Ryan, you and me." he says smiling.

"Speaking of Miley, how are things with her?"

His soft smile turns into a grin. "She's moving in with me."

I frown, "Now?"

He shrugs, "Well, obviously not right now, but she said yes."

I hug him, "I'm so happy for you!"

"Me, too."

"What did she say about the flat?"

"She loved it. But she wants to redecorate it though." he says, chuckling. "She didn't really love the interior design." he explains with a shrug. Such a shame.

I laugh, "That's so Miley."

"So, she's going to redecorate it first and then move in with me."

I nodd, "That's good." I say, hearing my phone ringing in my purse. I quickly get it out and look at the display. Shit, my meeting with Kevin at the studio is in thirty minutes. "I have to go."

Lucas frowns at me, "Why?"

"I have a meeting with Kevin." I say, rising from the chair. "We have an appointment for a magazine this afternoon. Vogue."

"Vogue? What does Vogue want from you?"

I shrugg. "I'll let you know when I found out."

"Do you want me to give you a lift?"

I shake my head, "I'll walk. I need the air."

"You sure?"

"Positive." I say, smiling before I hug him. "Thanks for coming to the ultrasound with me today, Luc."

"You don't have to thank me. I am the uncle to be, hell I'd do anything for you!" he says, grinning.

I return his grin, "Alright. See you tonight then."

"Yes." he says before I walk out of the café.

The streets are full of people, who are busy. I get lost in the crowded streets of London as I try to make my way to my studio. It's only three blocks away, so I won't walk that long.

Families are rushing through the thin streets. Business men are walking pass me, not caring if they accidently bump against me.

I stop at a red light with all the other busy humans. Buses, cars, black cabs and bicyclists rush through the streets. It's amazing how active London's streets are. I frown as I see a white teddy bear falling on the street, right in front of the cars. The cars rush by, making the teddy bear fly through the air. Seconds later I see a little brown haired girl running after it, while the mother is talking to her older brother. Rather yelling than talking, but I guess it could be considered a conversation though.

Without thinking twice, I walk after the little girl, who could get run over by a car really easily. The people are standing by so closely, that it takes time to make my way through the standing crowd. The girl in the white dress bends down and picks up the teddy bear with a huge smile on her lips. Then she starts to make her way back to her mommy, all smiling. In the corner of my eye I see a black cab driving towards her at a very high speed. I run on the streets and grab the girl to pull her out of the danger zone - and me right into it. A nanosecond later, I hear the brakes of the black cab. But the braking distance is not long enough, I notice as the black cab crashs against my body. I feel my body spinning in the air before it hits the hard, black asphalt of one of the streets in London.

I hear shoutings... mumbling... and crying... I think, the little girl is crying... No, please, don't cry... I saved your teddy... You have your teddy back... Your white teddy... Don't cry... Please.

The voices vanish... The crying disappears...

Nothing. It's completely silent now.

Suddenly, I am left in the darkness.

In peace.

In a starless sky.

* * *

**BIG SHOCKER! Do you think Gabriella's going to be alright? **

**Good news: There WILL BE a Sequel.**

**I've hidden the title of the sequel in this chapter. Can you find it?**

**Xoxo Nic**


	21. AN

**The sequel is online! It's called "Starless Sky". Please read it and review!**

**Xoxo Nic**


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